It is quite normal to feel devastated, upset, and depressed after a major quarrel with a partner. These emotions can appear even if you have solved the problem or found a way to reach a compromise. An unpleasant aftertaste somehow remains in the soul after any conflict.
But if you leave it unattended and let the feelings take their course, you can wallow in negativity and contribute to the deterioration of relations. Instead of succumbing to emotions, it’s better to try to cope with them healthily. Here are some ways to come to your senses after a major quarrel with a partner.
6 tips on how to come to your senses after a major quarrel with a partner
1. Figure out the emotions, and do not suppress them
Do not push away your feelings, and do not lock them in the depths of your soul — it’s better to try to admit what you feel and call each emotion by its name. This helps to reduce the intensity and degree of negative effects that anger, sadness, guilt, and other experiences have on your mind. You can also write down everything you feel on a piece of paper.
Don’t try to make the text artistic or coherent; throw out everything accumulated in your soul. Reread what happened to process your thoughts and determine why you are experiencing certain emotions. This practice will help to reduce the scale and redirect your mind from negativity to rationalism, which will help you feel better.
2. Use the grounding technique
Use the grounding technique to cope with the nervous excitement that raged after the quarrel. It helps to get out of the “fight or flight” mode, calm down, and focus on the present moment to gain clarity and realize that the unpleasant situation has long been over. Immediately after the quarrel, you can take time for box breathing. It would help if you took a breath, counted down four seconds, then held your breath for the same time and exhaled long, slowly counting to four again.
Grounding techniques also include taking a hot or cool shower, feeling objects of different textures with your hands, and gradually straining and relaxing all the muscles of the body. Whatever grounding technique you choose, do it for about five minutes or until you feel like you can relax a little.
3. Get distracted by a physical activity
After a quarrel, you are tempted to sulk or get lost in thought if you feel guilty. To get out of a state of despondency and depression, you need to distract yourself, and for some business that makes you move. Force yourself to get out of bed and walk, prepare a healthy snack, do some physical exercises, or dance to your favorite music.
You can also do aggressive cleaning if you are angry—vacuum, knock out the carpet, or wash the floor by hand, making every effort. Why do I need to do physical work after an argument? The load on the muscles and focusing on a difficult task will help you let off steam and clear your mind of unnecessary thoughts.
4. Try to learn a lesson from the conflict and not just torment yourself
It’s unpleasant to quarrel, but admitting that you and the girl can’t always agree is worth admitting. And it’s quite possible that you’re not saying what you mean when you’re straining to the limit and trying to get your point across. It is unpleasant to realize that in a fit of anger, you blurted out too much or to remember that your partner said hurtful words to you. However, instead of wallowing in unpleasant thoughts, learn to learn from the conflict.
Apologize to the girl for saying something painful to her, and try to forgive her if you realize that she blurted something out in a hurry, not with the obvious intention of offending you. Let go of the situation rather than focus on it, and also draw useful conclusions that will help you overcome conflicts in the future. This kind of thinking will help you move on and get closer to your partner.
5. Share honesty and vulnerability
The resentment received during an argument develops into such strong emotions that neither keeping a diary nor distraction helps. Try to show honesty and vulnerability in such moments by talking to the partner about your experiences. Tell her exactly about your feelings, not how wrong she is or what words she should not have said during the conflict.
Remember that you can only easily recognize what is happening in your soul once you tell them about it. An honest conversation about emotions is useful for three reasons: Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article .it helps convey to the partner how you feel, outline personal boundaries, and prevent the recurrence of unpleasant incidents in the future. Perhaps your girlfriend will also want to express her emotions in response to your monologue—do not push her away, and listen carefully.
This will help the two of you calm down, understand which moments during the quarrel were particularly unpleasant, and refrain from such things in the future. Real intimacy, respect, and trust for each other are built on this.
6. Give yourself time to cool down
It happens that a girl’s words touch you to the depths of your soul, after which you feel you cannot calm down in any way. In order not to aggravate the situation, spend some time alone. Be sure to tell your partner you want to be alone — you should not suddenly move away from her or turn off the phone when leaving the door. You can go visit your family for the weekend, go for a long walk, or spend a few hours locked in the next room, no matter how you create a temporary barrier and distance between you.
As soon as you realize that you have been able to cope with your feelings, talk to the partner about what happened, especially if you have not found a way to resolve the conflict that has arisen between you. Sometimes it’s better to take a step back and come to your senses, being alone, than to continue a quarrel or be near a person, the very sight of whom makes you even more annoyed, not because you don’t love him, but because the argument was too hot. Let the heat of passion subside, and the conversation will become more productive.
