Behind vivid stories of victories, the constant desire to be the center of attention, or the desire to impress everyone around you, there may be a fear you don’t always realize. He makes you pretend to be confident but simultaneously feel something is wrong with you.
How does ostentatious confidence manifest itself?
Bragging and trying to attract attention cannot be called absolute confidence. Many people loudly declare themselves only to appear better than they are or to hide their inner dissatisfaction with themselves. Here are a few behaviors that are characteristic of ostentatious confidence.
4 characteristics of ostentatious confidence
1. The constant need to surpass others
If a person turns the conversation to himself at every opportunity, he only pretends to be confident. He does his best to leave a good impression, emphasize his achievements, or at least surpass others in some way. He will hint that he earns more or can afford things that are not available to others.
2. Exaggeration of achievements
Ostentatious confidence makes you exaggerate your achievements. Its owner won’t say, “I passed a difficult project.” He will mark, “I managed a project that no one wanted to take on. He was so difficult that you can’t imagine.” And yet, ostentatious confidence is manifested in the fact that a person cannot admit to his failures. He puts them down to circumstances or shifts the blame onto others, but more often than not, he keeps quiet regarding mistakes.
3. Discomfort in silence
A person whose confidence is just a beautiful facade always feels awkward when silence reigns in a conversation. He will try to fill it with a story, an anecdote, or a loud statement. Sometimes, he intentionally interrupts others to avoid a pause and keep attention on his person.
4. Fear of vulnerability
Personal moments and conversations require vulnerability. A person with significant confidence does not fully open up to others, admit their imperfections, or talk about things others may perceive incorrectly. He tries to always be on top, so he hides his feelings, never acknowledges that he may not be perfect, and does not allow himself to be open even with those close to him.
Why ostentatious confidence is harmful
No beautiful mask can compensate for what is happening in the soul. First, the longer you pretend to be confident, the harder it becomes to distinguish where the role ends and you begin. It’s like playing a character that gradually replaces your personality. You stop understanding what you want because you’re used to adapting to the expectations of others. Secondly, people are not stupid.
Even if they admire your “confidence,” sooner or later, they’ll notice little sincerity behind the big words, and this creates distrust: building a close relationship is difficult if you’re always “on stage.” You brag about your success at work, but your friends see how you avoid discussing personal difficulties.
They distance themselves because they feel an “invisible wall” between them. Thirdly, your energy goes into the void. Visit. A F R I N I K. C O M .For the full article. Maintaining the image of a “superhero” is problematic. You spend your energy hiding your anxiety, coming up with the perfect story, and interrupting others in a conversation. It’s like running with a load on your back: sooner or later, your strength will run out.
Fatigue, irritability, and sometimes burnout are the price of constant pretending. Finally, you don’t leave yourself any room to grow. The fear of showing weakness prevents you from learning from mistakes. If you pretend you know everything and can do it, why develop? Real growth begins with the phrase: “I don’t understand; teach me.”
What does absolute confidence look like?
Curiosity
Confident people are inquisitive, especially about those around them. They are interested in the lives of others, and they are not afraid to ask questions, even stupid ones. They tend to listen carefully and accept someone else’s point of view. They don’t need to attract too much attention or leave a perfect impression of themselves because they are already satisfied with themselves and know how valuable they are.
A calm response to criticism
People with genuine confidence do not react to criticism too violently and do not take a defensive position. They reflect and keep their composure. If they make a mistake, they will apologize; if they find the criticism unconstructive, they will ignore it. Nothing can undermine their self-esteem or force them to act to please others.
Healthy borders
If a person has healthy self-confidence, they say “no” when something violates their values and comfort. He doesn’t worry too much about offending someone if he rejects an unreasonable request. He does not allow others to invade his space, influence his decisions, or dictate how to live.
Empathy, not bragging
People with genuine confidence rarely brag about their successes. Realizing they have achieved what they wanted, even if no one praises them, is enough for them. They recognize both their own and others’ successes and also show empathy for others’ difficulties.
