Grief is one of the most powerful human emotions, accompanied by disorientation and meaninglessness in later life. Natural grief is usually caused by loss. This may be the loss of a loved one, the rapid collapse of a career, or the inability to maintain a habitual lifestyle. The only positive characteristic of grief is its finiteness.
Sooner or later, the feeling dulls, and acceptance of what happened comes. However, this process is non-linear. Depending on the person and circumstances, cycles take a different amount of time. The greatest danger lies in the last stage, when the desired relief suddenly reverts to previous experiences, sometimes with a vengeance.
The nature of grief
Grief is a collection of negative emotions. Anger, fear, sadness, and unbearable pain are placed in one consciousness, literally turning it inside out. At the same time, each component can have its own activity cycle. One day, you feel guilty; the other day, you are terrified of an uncertain future. Therefore, the “acceptance stages” are often misleading. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article .It only seems to a person that the transition to the next stage has occurred, but in reality, he has coped with only one of the negative emotions.
The remaining elements still exert emotional solid pressure. The same “acceptance” is perceived as the end of the path, but it is a fork, a turning point, after which comes true healing or fake remission. It is important to understand that acceptance does not lead to oblivion or the complete disappearance of pain. Instead, it is the recognition of loss as a part of life. What happened cannot be changed, but the story does not end there.
This conclusion is hindered by the emptiness that needs to be filled with something. Some psychologists recommend changing your mindset. Call emptiness space, and the meaning will change a lot. One absorbs, and the other accepts, including new views, goals, and dreams. After this emotional shift, you can move on.
Search for meaning
When people talk about finding meaning, they usually mean replacing what they have lost with something else. Naturally, this is perceived as useless advice. Try to replace a loved one or a lost life’s work like this: switch at the click of your fingers, forget, and move on. Viktor Frankl survived the Holocaust and wrote the book “Man in Search of Meaning,” describing individuals’ hardships, tragedies, and losses and the human ability to find meaning in life and moments of peace, even in the most terrible circumstances.
His secret was to look for new meanings not outside but inside himself. It is not external objects that need to be replaced but the inner world, which is on the verge of splitting and falling into the abyss. Experiencing grief from loss, you will not be able to hide the pain and move on. We’ll have to rethink what happened and ask: What should we do next, and how should we live in the existing reality? The main task is to turn the loss from the “end of something” into a “transition to something.”
For example, love for a person who no longer exists can be supported in various ways: by continuing his work, adopting some views and principles that make that person so special to you, and helping other people who find themselves in a similar situation. All this does not reduce the significance of the loss but allows you to get along with it and find an inner meaning.
Loss integration
Integrating loss into everyday life is crucial in the transition to acceptance. Again, shifting the focus of attention is necessary, which will be the most challenging process. Psychologists use the term “gratitude”—it sounds outrageous but makes sense. A lot has been lost and cannot be returned, but something remains—for this, you need to be grateful. We are talking about memories, habits, hobbies, and maybe some things with a special meaning.
If you need a guiding star, all of the above will become a ray of light in the kingdom of darkness. Integrating loss begins with letting go of guilt. People often feel guilty that they failed to prevent a tragedy, did not have time to say the right words, or once said too much. It would be best to forgive yourself; otherwise, reconciliation will not come.
The truth is that none of us are perfect, and what happened doesn’t matter anymore. Grief will drag you into the past; as a counteraction, you will try to hide in the future. However, the most effective tactic is to live in the present. Mindfulness and concentration on the current moment allow you to distract yourself from evil thoughts and return to your whole life.
Healing purpose
In addition to suffering, grief can give an impulse of unprecedented strength, allowing you to sweep away any obstacles to a new goal. This does not necessarily mean drastic life changes but rather a rethinking of the chosen path. However, some people change beyond recognition, giving up bad habits and devoting themselves to serving something sublime. No matter how cruel it may sound, sometimes grief and loss awaken a person and make him start a real, meaningful life.
No universal template allows you to integrate and redirect grief on the path of creation. Finding such a goal is deeply personal for everyone, but it always goes beyond yourself. The reward is excellent. A meaningful and worthy goal breaks a person out of prison. The shackles soaked in grief seem to fall off your feet; the reason to live inspires and opens up the outside world again.
