Eye contact is often overlooked, but it’s a great skill for building a trusting relationship. It helps to show sincerity and honesty and express your interest in another person. But like other skills, eye contact has its subtleties. Here are some common mistakes you shouldn’t make if you want it to be beneficial.
7 Mistakes to avoid when making eye contact
1. Completely avoid
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to avoid eye contact completely. We often commit it because we feel insecure or awkward. Also, the need to avoid eye contact can result from social anxiety — the fear of being judged by others, looking strange, or being in an awkward position in the presence of other people. However, when we communicate with someone, the lack of eye contact doesn’t look like much. People often perceive this behavior as disinterest or a desire to hide something from them.
2. Looking too intensely into your eyes
On the other hand, looking too closely into the eyes of the other person can be very annoying and even frightening. When another person stares at you without blinking, you feel like you’re being interrogated. You can’t help but wonder if his intentions are good and why he’s behaving the way he is.
Too much eye contact and wide-open eyes can be associated with anger, predatory behavior, or a desire to exert moral pressure. This mistake reduces the desire to communicate with you to zero and reduces your attractiveness to others. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article. It is best to look a person in the eye for about three seconds, then look away and repeat eye contact. Of course, you shouldn’t count down the time in your head, but it’s important not to overdo it.
3. Focusing on anything but the face
People who try their best to avoid eye contact may inadvertently shift their gaze from the other person’s face to something else. For example, on the collar of his shirt, hands, or hair. This may seem rude, as the other person may think, “Maybe there’s something wrong with me since he’s looking at me so intently. Also, focusing on anything other than the face is often interpreted as disinterest and unwillingness to listen.
4. Wandering gaze
People who feel nervous or awkward often shift their gaze from one object to another. They look at the other person, then out the window, then at the interior items, which gives the impression that they are distracted or worried. Maintaining a high-quality conversation by constantly shifting the focus of attention to anything other than the person in front of you will not work. And it will be unpleasant for him to realize that you are much more interested in everything around you than he is.
5. Frequent blinking or squinting
Blinking too often during prolonged eye contact looks at least strange. It may make you seem nervous, anxious, or confused. Squinting is often perceived as an attempt to cheat disguised as anger or arrogance. To avoid making the wrong impression on the interlocutors, it is necessary to strive for eye contact when you blink at the usual pace and keep your eyelids relaxed.
6. The scan
You shouldn’t “scan” them from head to toe when you meet someone. This immediately makes you less attractive, making the other person think you are arrogant. In addition, this view is often perceived as deliberately judgmental and unpleasant, which will not help establish contact and a trusting relationship. Look at the other person in the face to show that you are happy to see them and ready for a dialogue. Trust me, you’ll be able to look at his clothes during the conversation, which won’t look intimidating or repulsive.
6. Ignoring some interlocutors in favor of others
If you’re participating in a group conversation, be careful how you make eye contact. When we find ourselves among people, we involuntarily glance at someone we know better. We can dialogue with everyone, but always look only at him, as this makes us feel comfortable. But this is a big mistake, as other participants in the conversation may feel deprived of your attention. Try to look at each one when you’re telling a story; when you’re listening, look at the one talking.
Another mistake people often make in group conversations is that they only look at the person who asked it when they answer a question. This is appropriate if the answer is short, but if it is detailed, it is worth looking at the questioner first and then at the others present. Maintaining eye contact when the other person doesn’t seem interested is equally important.
Perhaps you involuntarily want to fix your gaze on the most friendly person. But it’s worth remembering that a pleasant facial expression doesn’t always mean someone listens to you with gusto. By focusing only on him, you unwittingly signal to others that they don’t have to listen to you. It’s better to “share a look” with everyone — by taking the initiative and not giving up, you’re more likely to engage them in conversation.
