People praise responsiveness, courtesy, and willingness always to meet others halfway. However, these qualities do much more harm than good to their bearer. This is mainly because, over time, a person blurs the fine line between kindness and the desire to please and help everyone around. Here are some signs that you are giving too much of your resources to others while sacrificing your interests.
10 Signs you’re giving too many resources to others
1. Others typically disregard your boundaries
The more you participate in the lives of others on your initiative, the more often they take your help for granted. Unfortunately, we all quickly get used to something good. You will be thanked the first time you decide to put aside all your business and help someone.
But after that, they will expect such behavior from you or even demand it. Always set personal boundaries in any relationship, whether work or family. Otherwise, you will have to face others’ consumer attitudes towards you.
2. You prioritize others over yourself
You must understand that you must first take care of yourself: meeting your needs and solving problems. Only then, if you have the opportunity backed up by desire, can you direct your resources to help others.
At the same time, you should have your priorities, and that’s fine. If everyone held such views, we would all be a little happier and not shift responsibility for ourselves to someone else.
3. You help even when it hurts you
It is possible and necessary to assist, but only if you do not have to act to the detriment of your interests. By offering your participation in solving other people’s problems at the expense of your own well-being, you risk quickly burning out and spending your resources on other people’s needs.
Of course, there are such critical situations when you can forget about yourself, wanting to do everything possible for a person. But, you must admit, this happens quite rarely, so it can never become a common occurrence in your life.
4. You often feel fatigued after a brief talk
The constant fatigue and exhaustion after interacting with others may indicate that you overestimate your capabilities. Perhaps others are abusing your kindness, demanding much more from you than you are ready to do for them.
In that case, you need to reconsider your relationship. If you continue to ignore your condition, it will eventually develop into an anxiety or depressive disorder.
5. You feel unappreciated and used
You give too many resources to others if they gradually begin to devalue everything you do for them. If you feel that other people are using you to achieve certain goals while not even bothering to thank you for your help, this is an unmistakable signal that you are investing too much time and effort in them.
6. You typically solve others’ issues instead of helping them
When you spend much time fixing other people’s lives, you can choose the wrong ways to save your resources. It may seem to you that it is much easier and faster to solve the problem of the person who asked you for help on your own.
On the one hand, this is so—you don’t have to explain something to him, answer many questions, or be nervous because he makes mistakes acting without your supervision. On the other hand, this is how you take away a person’s opportunity to cope with a situation on their own and solve it next time without your participation.
7. You realize that others cannot do their jobs without you
You can spoil others by actively participating in their lives so much that they will simply be inactive without your involvement in solving the problem. This can manifest in work and personal relationships—family, friendly, and romantic.
Of course, taking care of others is important and necessary, but first, a person should take care of himself. If you take on decision-making, planning, and other responsibilities for others, you will be overloaded with other people’s responsibilities.
8. You feel tired and irritated all the time
For a long time, you may not associate the lack of strength and constant irritation with spending too much of your resources on others. However, this condition does not arise out of nowhere.
It is the result of prolonged overload, both physical and psychological. If you’ve been ignoring your own needs for a long time simply because you don’t have the time and energy to meet them, burnout and exhaustion await you. If you don’t force yourself to focus on your needs, your body and psyche will do it for you.
9. Can’t focus on your goals and desires
A constant concern for others prevents you from focusing on what you need and want. If you don’t have the opportunity to do something for yourself but manage to help everyone around you, this is a signal about the wrong prioritization.
You give too much of your resources to others, leaving almost nothing for yourself. This will threaten you with emotional exhaustion and disappointment in the future.
10. When you treat yourself, you feel guilty
Ideally, you should not feel guilty for doing something useful or pleasant for yourself. This is an ordinary concern for one’s needs and desires, a manifestation of love and respect for oneself, and healthy selfishness, which should normally be present in every person.
Feeling guilt and shame at the moments when you put yourself first suggests that you are too used to the opposite state of affairs. It’s hard for you to accept that you deserve your attention and that your needs are important, too.
