Where we are now is the result of many choices we have made over the years. And there are times when you think: What would have happened if you had made a different decision at one point or another?
Life can be a whole of questions that start with ‘What if…’, but if you immerse yourself in such thoughts daily, you will notice how the world around you loses its colors.
Also, such ruminations are a sign that you regret the choices you once made.
5 signs that indicate you regret the life choices you’ve made
1. You’re constantly trying to distract yourself
If you are constantly trying to distract yourself from your present life, either by running away with your thoughts into the past or fantasizing about things that never happened, it is a sure sign that you do not like reality.
You prefer to run away from negative feelings and seek solace in whatever activities you can to drown out the feeling of regret in your soul, at least for a while. Notably, the things you distract yourself with can be both harmful and helpful.
Many people find refuge in sports, work, relationships, entertainment – basically, not bad activities. But when the fascination with something becomes excessive, problems begin.
You may work too hard, become a workaholic, overeat, have multiple short-term romantic relationships, or overexert yourself in sports, leading to injury and exhaustion.
All because your goal is not to benefit from these activities but to occupy yourself enough to ward off unpleasant thoughts and feelings.
However, avoiding problems has never led to solving them, so it’s important to figure out what the cause of your life regrets are and how you can deal with them.
2. You project your regrets onto others
Regrets can harden you and make you feel hate more often than joy or sympathy. This happens either from the realization that you are unhappy with your decisions or anger that your circumstances are unfortunate.
Eventually, mental anguish develops into persistent guilt and repressed anger that causes you to project negative emotions onto others.
Instead of treating others with sympathy and understanding, you judge and criticize their every move. You perceive the mistakes of others as an excuse to give advice based on your own bitter experience, even if it is completely inappropriate.
You try to do a good deed by trying to persuade others not to follow the same path as you, but you don’t always realize how inappropriate and painful your words can be for others.
And, of course, the unsolicited advice you share is received by others either with indifference or in the face. But it’s not because they don’t want to hear or listen to you.
It’s impossible to know the full picture of someone’s life – it’s possible that by projecting your regrets onto others, you’re hurting them many times more than if you’d just kept quiet.
3. You’re always dissatisfied
When your mind is busy thinking about what could have been if you had made a different decision in the past, it’s hard to be satisfied with life.
You can be at the height of your career, have many successes, accumulate wealth, or have a great relationship and still feel deep down that something is wrong.
You’re not thinking about what might make you happy now but about the things you could be enjoying if you’d taken a different life path.
And this can be confusing for both you and those around you because they genuinely don’t understand why, with a good life, you feel miserable.
4. You are defensive when it comes to your past
Reflect on how you behave when someone asks you about how you used to live or what decisions you had to make many years ago. Perhaps you overreact, especially if you hear a hint of criticism.
You may also fiercely defend your life choices, even if this borders on disrespectful behavior towards the other person. These reactions are an example of a defensive attitude characteristic of people who feel guilt and regret.
It stems from an inner dissatisfaction reflected in your words and behavior, as well as a desire to convince both yourself and others that your actions were right after all.
It is noteworthy that you may react this way at first, only to realize the consequences of your behavior or not think about it. But if you constantly take a defensive position, then relations with others deteriorate noticeably because it is simply impossible to have a constructive dialogue with you.
5. You’re living in the past
We may shut ourselves off from the past with regret, but it is not uncommon for us to live it. Not a conversation with friends passes without touching upon the affairs of bygone days; in our thoughts, we constantly return to them.
If you do this, it may be because you are remorseful for your earlier actions. You look back and wallow in pleasant memories to a certain point that turned your life upside down and made it less happy.
Although nostalgia does not always indicate regret for something, when combined with the behaviors described above, it is a reflection of regret for one’s life choices.
Undoubtedly, we all have things to remember, both good and bad. But if you feel that worrying about the past is taking up much of your life and preventing you from enjoying the present, it’s time to make a change.
