Where we are now is the result of many choices we have made over the years. And there are times when you think: what would have happened if you had made a different decision at one time or another?
Life can be full of questions that start with “What if …” but if you immerse yourself in such thoughts every day, you can notice how the world around you is losing color. And such reflections are also a sign that you regret your choice. Other things point to this.
5 things that indicate that you regret making a life choice
1. You’re constantly trying to distract yourself
If you constantly try to distract yourself from your current life by running away with your thoughts into the past or fantasizing about something that never happened, this is a sign that you do not like reality.
You prefer to run away from negative feelings and seek solace in whatever activities you want to drown out the feeling of regret in your soul temporarily.
Notably, the things you are distracted by can be harmful and useful. Many people find refuge in sports, work, relationships, entertainment —good actions. But when the passion for something becomes excessive, problems begin.
You can work too hard, become a workaholic, overeat, have numerous short-term romantic relationships, or overexert yourself in sports, leading to injury and exhaustion. And all because your goal is not to benefit from these actions but to occupy yourself so much as to shut out unpleasant thoughts and feelings.
But avoiding problems has never led to solving them, so it’s important to figure out the reason for your regrets about life and how you can deal with them.
2. You project your regrets on others
Regrets can harden and make you feel hatred more often than joy or sympathy. This happens either from the realization that you are unhappy because of the decisions you have made or because of anger that the circumstances of your life have turned out badly.
Eventually, mental anguish develops into persistent feelings of guilt and suppressed rage, which causes negative emotions to be projected onto other people. Instead of treating others with empathy and understanding, you condemn and criticize their every move.
You perceive the mistakes of others as a reason to give advice based on your own bitter experience, even if it is entirely inappropriate. You try to do a good deed by trying to convince others not to follow the same path as you, but you don’t always realize how inappropriate and painful your words can be for others.
Of course, others may perceive your unsolicited advice with indifference or hostility. But it’s not because they don’t want to hear and listen to you. It is impossible to know the complete picture of someone’s life – perhaps by projecting your regrets onto others, you hurt them many times more than if you kept silent.
3. You’re always unhappy
When your mind is busy thinking about what might have been if you had made a different decision in the past, it’s hard to be satisfied with life. You can be at the peak of your career, achieve numerous successes, accumulate wealth, or have a great relationship but still feel that something is wrong.
You are not thinking about what can make you happy now but about things you could enjoy if you followed a different path in life. This can confuse both you and those around you because they sincerely do not understand why, with a good life, you feel unhappy.
4. You take a defensive position when it comes to your past
Think about how you behave when someone asks you how you used to live or what decisions you had to make many years ago. You may be overreacting, especially if you hear a hint of criticism directed at you. Or you fiercely defend your life choice, even if it borders on disrespectful behavior towards the interlocutor.
Such reactions exemplify the defensive attitude characteristic of people experiencing guilt and regret. It stems from an inner dissatisfaction reflected in one’s words and behavior and a desire to convince oneself and others that one’s actions were right.
Notably, you can react this way at first, only then realizing the consequences of how you behaved or not thinking about it. But if you constantly take a defensive position, relations with others deteriorate noticeably because having a constructive dialogue with you is impossible.
5. You’re living in the past
When we regret, we can shut ourselves off from the past, but it is not uncommon for us to start living it. No conversation with friends takes place so that we do not touch on the affairs of bygone days; in our thoughts, we constantly return to them.
If you do this, the reason may be precisely remorse for previously committed actions. You look back and immerse yourself in pleasant memories to a certain point that turned your life around and made it less happy.
Although nostalgia does not always indicate regret for something, combined with the above-described examples of behavior, it reflects regret for one’s life choices. Undoubtedly, we all have something to remember, both good and bad. But if you feel that worries about the past occupy a large part of your life and prevent you from enjoying the present, then it’s time to change something.
