Unfortunately, it is impossible to avoid meeting people who will try to use you for their purposes. However, it is possible to recognize such behavior in time and fight back against them. At the same time, being rude or speaking harshly is unnecessary — there are several subtle ways to make others understand that you will not be pushed around.
6 Ways to show they can’t push you around
1. Don’t take it personally
It is easier to say, “Don’t take anything personally,” than follow through, Especially when someone tries to bring down your self-esteem by telling you outright that you are wrong or have flaws. In the end, though, his behavior has nothing to do with who you are and everything to do with how insecure and unhappy you are.
Most often, those who do not know how to conduct constructive dialogue and defend their position healthily try to push us around. Such people have low self-esteem or a fragile ego. Manipulating and using other people to achieve success is a way for them to cope with their sense of inadequacy.
So, step back the next time someone tries to push you around. Remember that the other person’s actions reflect on him, not you. Not taking his behavior personally deprives him of the opportunity to hurt you and achieve what he wants.
2. Master the art of assertive communication
Assertiveness is not equal to rudeness or attempts to defend your opinion with foam at the mouth. It is about expressing your needs openly and honestly while not belittling another person’s rights or point of view. It’s about finding a balance between aggressiveness and a passive attitude.
It is often difficult for people who want to push us around to show empathy. They tend to ignore the feelings of others, so when communicating with them, it is important to delineate personal boundaries and say what you consider unacceptable clearly. Remember to persevere the next time you talk to someone trying to use you.
For example, if a friend once again asks you to borrow money from him, although he has not yet repaid his past debts, tell him: “No, I will not be able to do this since I did not receive the funds that you borrowed from me last time.” Try to speak confidently, maintaining eye contact and a calm tone. Remember that your behavior is not a call for confrontation but a way to express yourself and discuss what is important to you.
3. Practice indifference
You fall into his trap by showing an emotional reaction to the behavior of a person trying to push you around. He will use your feelings as strings to pull to get his way. Instead of reacting immediately to his words, try to show indifference. Nod, and keep doing what you were doing before he showed up.
Don’t let his words influence your behavior or feelings — imagine that you are building an invisible wall between yourself and him that nothing can break through. Trust me, it works. Narcissists, manipulators, and other people who try to benefit at the expense of others thrive on drama and attention. By depriving them of this, you show that you cannot be pushed around and make them understand your worth.
4. Maintain your self-esteem
It’s hard to be utterly indifferent to other people’s opinions about yourself. We often doubt our worth based on what others think of us. People who like to take advantage of others exploit this vulnerability.
They will constantly belittle or criticize you to damage your self-esteem, make you doubt your abilities, and make you reconsider your decisions. Don’t let other people’s perceptions affect your self-esteem. Start by reminding yourself of your strengths, achievements, and what you can be proud of.
Whenever someone tries to push you around, think about something positive that concerns you. Over time, this will help restore self-esteem. Remember that she is the most vigorous defense against people who want to use you.
5. Look for support
You don’t have to fight the man pushing you around alone. Ask your friends, family, and colleagues for your support. This can radically change the situation. The support system provides a safe space to share your feelings, to feel that you are not alone, and to recharge your social battery.
Moreover, people outside the situation can often give valuable ideas and advice on doing the right thing. Remember that isolation can make you more vulnerable to manipulation and other negative influences. So do not hesitate to rely on those who can lend a shoulder in a difficult moment. You are stronger than you think, especially when you have people around you who care about you.
6. Remember your right to leave
If nothing helps in the fight against the person pushing you around, you have a trump card up your sleeve — the opportunity to leave. You don’t have to stay in a relationship and keep in touch if someone is hurting and hurting you. Your well-being matters, as does your peace of mind.
Therefore, if you ever find yourself in a situation where someone is bossing you around, and nothing helps, remember that leaving is the only reasonable way out. Such an act is not a sign of weakness but, on the contrary, demonstrates your strength and self-respect.
