A healthy and comfortable relationship can only be built if both partners are honest. This is the only way to create a safe space for joint development, establish trust, and deepen emotional connection.
If you strive to conform to some image to generate the feeling that you are perfect, that you do not have and cannot have any flaws, the relationship is unlikely to make you happy and will not last long. Being yourself is not always easy, but it’s still worth a try.
8 tips on how to be yourself in a relationship
1. Develop Emotional Intelligence
If you develop emotional intelligence, you will learn to understand the actions of others and their original motives. This will allow you to change your attitude towards yourself – you will realize what you do and why you do it and start to control your emotions and express them in safer ways.
In addition, you will stop feeling too embarrassed or ashamed of your words and actions. After all, if you can understand other people, your behavior is also understandable.
Developing emotional intelligence can help you deal with negative comments about yourself.
This is when you finally realize that most people disapprove of being open and willing to be yourself simply because they fear judgment or lack the courage to show up.
2. Make mistakes and learn from them.
Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone can learn from them and make the most of their failures. You should not blame yourself for something going wrong as you originally planned.
It is much more important to cope with the consequences of your actions and gain something valuable from this situation.
To allow yourself to be non-ideal in relationships and to remain yourself, you must stop being afraid of failure. Stop demonizing every mistake you make – accept that you will stumble from time to time.
It’s an inevitable part of every person’s life. Remember that only through trial and error will you grow, develop, and realize your inner potential.
3. Remember that everyone has flaws
You are not alone in your imperfections. No one person can boast of being perfect. Everyone has imperfections, and that’s perfectly normal.
They don’t make you worse than other people, they don’t rob you of love and respect, and they shouldn’t affect your self-esteem. Stop comparing yourself to anyone else, accept your imperfections, and start emphasizing your strengths.
4. Be open to feedback
If you really want to be yourself and refuse to conform to the ideal person’s image, you must be ready for positive and negative feedback.
Learn to calmly accept other people’s opinions and take their criticism to heart. Take your time changing something in yourself immediately after hearing negative comments.
Still, to please everyone, you will not be able to, and there is no point in it. The main thing is that you are satisfied with yourself and your behavior, interests, and goals.
Talk to her if you are concerned about the girl’s attitude toward your character or actions. Ask her what she thinks and what flaws in you negatively affect your relationship. Be ready to hear the truth from her and start working on yourself if necessary.
5. Accept yourself for who you are
Accepting yourself is the first step to allowing yourself to be who you are in a relationship. If you are self-conscious about your traits, try to hide your flaws, and maintain a certain image that is not true, the girl will feel that something is wrong.
Until you accept yourself, you won’t be accepted by those around you either. Your imperfections can only become a problem if you convince yourself and others of this, agree with other people’s statements, and bias yourself.
6. Be ready for growth and change
Being perfect will not work for you anyway, if only because the ideal is unattainable. Each person has a different concept of perfection—no single list of qualities should be mastered.
Instead of trying to imitate someone or fulfill other people’s expectations, let yourself be what you really are. A willingness to grow and change is far more important than mythical perfection.
Change is inevitable, but you can control whether it will be negative or positive. So be flexible and adapt to new circumstances, but don’t go against yourself.
Your girlfriend doesn’t expect to have the perfect guy by her side; it will be enough for her to see your endeavors and determination.
7. Stop basing your value on a people’s opinion of you
Your value doesn’t depend on what other people think of you, even if it’s the people you consider closest to you. Adults love each other despite, not because of, something.
They are able to tolerate many shortcomings, accept that each of us has different views on the same situation, and tolerate the discrepancy between expectations and reality.
If you are now and then faced with the manipulation of the partner, who makes it clear to you how your words and actions are perceived by her positively and which negatively affect her attitude towards you, then it is time for you to talk openly with each other.
Of course, if you break any agreements or do things that offend or upset her, you need to admit your guilt and work on your mistakes.
However, if your actions do not affect the girl in any way but still cause her negativity and change her attitude towards you, it is worth thinking about what the real reason is.
8. Show tolerance for yourself and others
To stop being afraid to be yourself in a relationship, it is important to cultivate tolerance. Recognize that everyone is unique, and it makes sense that no one thinks, feels, and perceives reality exactly the same way as you do.
Everyone has differences, and that’s okay. As long as other people are not violating your personal boundaries or hurting anyone else, there is no reason for intolerance. Once you can accept others with all their differences, you will begin to be more tolerant of yourself.
You will stop worrying about differences of opinion with others; you will stop being shy about your interests or silent when someone asks you something. When you don’t see a problem in other people’s non-idealities, your own loses importance for you, too.
