As children, it was very easy for us to make friends, but as adults, this changes. Many peers replace friendships with family ties, the work-home lifestyle does not encourage new acquaintances, and the demands on potential friends grow as we develop. Let’s talk about 6 things that make it difficult for us to make friends.
1. We are shy to get acquainted
For some of us, meeting new people is not easy. We feel embarrassed or simply do not know what to talk about with others. Sometimes even the very fact of talking to someone you don’t know can cause awe and anxiety.
The fact is that for many people, new acquaintances are a way out of their comfort zone. We are embarrassed by the awkwardness that arises when talking with strangers, so we deny ourselves this. But once you learn how to overcome it, everything becomes much easier.
2. Failed friendships in the past
Experiences from the past can interfere with making new friends. They can be associated with bad dating episodes, toxic friends, traumatic breakups.
If a person has not yet let go of these experiences, he is afraid that this will definitely happen to him again. Therefore, it is difficult for him to trust, open up to new acquaintances and build relationships.
It is important to learn to perceive failures as an experience and not dwell on them.
3. We don’t have enough time for friendship
Our schedule may not have time for friendship. We are constantly loaded with business and goals and do not have the opportunity to often intersect with people of interest.
However, some habits steal our time: long social media browsing, TV nights, video games. If we reduce the time we spend on them, we can find more opportunities to meet and meet new people.
In addition, we often deny ourselves the opportunity to communicate more. We may be too lazy to leave the house on weekends, or we may deliberately come up with reasons for not contacting the world.
4. We lack social skills
A lack of certain skills can make it difficult to make new friends. For example, if we do not know how to listen and constantly interrupt the interlocutor, it isn’t easy to communicate with us. The same goes for the constant desire to talk only about yourself. It is unlikely that anyone will want to participate in a conversation that looks more like a monologue.
Sometimes we push people away if we constantly complain in conversations or spread negativity around us. Also, the lack of social skills includes the inability to maintain the tone of the discussion or choose a topic for conversation that will be comfortable for everyone present.
5. Our relationship is making adjustments to friendship
A partner and children can be the cause of difficulties in new acquaintances. We spend most of the time talking with them, so finding a couple of hours to chat with friends can be difficult. In addition, our outlook on life is changing.
Partners may not like our friends, and because of this, we begin to spend less time with them. Some of your girlfriends will no longer share your lifestyle; for example, they will not be enthusiastic about going to a cafe with a child.
The best way out of this situation is to look for like-minded people with a similar outlook on life. For example, a married couple with children to spend time with them, or people with whom you and your partner will be equally comfortable.
6. We have social anxiety
Social anxiety can make everyday communication incredibly difficult. If we have social anxiety, we may be overly concerned about how others perceive us. Instead of enjoying the interactions with others, we may spend most of our time obsessing over what we said or did wrong.
Sure, social anxiety can get in the way of making friends. It’s hard to have a meaningful conversation when we’re worried about whether the other person is judging us.
An effective way to overcome social anxiety is to do a little of what makes us uncomfortable. For example, we might ask someone if they’d like to keep in touch if you’re worried about that.
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