Condemned but desired: The paradox of carefree people

A carefree person immediately reveals their attitude to the world. He literally gets out of the general rhythm, does not rush, does not fuss, and most importantly, does not look tired of life. He smiles more often, criticizes less often, and at the same time lives no worse than the rest. Does he really have secret knowledge or some kind of superpowers? It’s worth taking a closer look, squinting your eyes a little.

It all looks extremely suspicious. This is about how society reacts to any carelessness, easily substituting concepts. It soon becomes clear that this is not just a man with his own views on life and the future, but an irresponsible, infantile man who is not a hero at all. We condemn them, wish them all the bad, and look after them with hard-to-hide envy.

6 reasons society blames carefree people but envies them

1. Collective agreement on anxiety

There is an unspoken agreement in our society: if you want to earn respect, be responsible, always busy, and unhappy. Strive for something more, even if you don’t know what you want. The main thing is the process, at least its visibility, because the result is rarely checked. In a broad sense, responsibility refers to planning each step. You have to plan for risks, anticipate trends, and continually think about the future. Simply put, a person participates in a universal marathon or becomes a voluntary outsider, who, by the way, risks nothing and loses nothing, thereby disrupting the order.

Carelessness is perceived as a challenge to the collective agreement on universal anxiety. Moreover, anyone who stands out from the orderly line of marching ranks becomes an infectious example, the causative agent of forbidden questions. Is it really possible to live more easily, and is it really necessary to constantly fuss and worry? For some, this thought becomes too painful, to some extent traumatic.

2. Delayed schadenfreude

As a defensive reaction, society chooses the simplest path — the condemnation of carelessness. In its most herbivorous form, it looks like delayed schadenfreude and manifests itself in phrases like “He’s just lucky” or “He’ll pay for his irresponsibility.” People are much more aggressive about carelessness, which is accompanied by success. How can you accept the existence of a person who is obviously not stupid, who has achieved certain goals, and even lives freely? Oh, no, we won’t stand for that! Carelessness is declared an unworthy model of behavior, a real vice, a mortal sin. All other human qualities become far secondary.

Even if he is the kindest, most positive, honest, and professional. The manifested rebellion negates everything, an unwillingness to integrate into the system. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article. Wise judges will thoughtfully remark: “Let’s see what happens to him in 10 years.” There’s not much to answer here; you can only redirect the question to the sender. No one knows what will happen to him in ten years, whether you fuss every day or prefer to “lie on the stove.”

3. Envy of freedom

Such a nervous and intolerant attitude is explained by envy, regret for his own loss. Each of us was once careless. It is enough to recall childhood and adolescence. In adulthood, we also periodically fall into the arms of carelessness. For example, during the holidays, sometimes on weekends, and on New Year’s holidays. These days fly by like minutes, because the future does not press its demands. Of course, time doesn’t literally accelerate; life always moves at that pace. Only endless busyness and eternal anxiety prevent you from noticing the speed of the current. A careless person silently but constantly points out the end of our allotted time.

We involuntarily begin to compare our tense and at the same time completely imperfect life with the similar imperfect life of an ideological opponent. Perhaps, in general, the difference is small, but the efforts expended are incomparable. It turns out that a decent life without expecting the worst, without striving to control everything, is quite real. Envy and condemnation are caused not by the actions of a careless person, not by the results he achieved, but by the very state of lightness, which we also like to experience.

4. Social audacity

In a culture where entertainment, aspiration, and a willingness to overcome are valued, carelessness becomes a form of silent protest. It will seem to others that this is a way to stand out, to be different from everyone else. This is too much, society always dislikes upstarts, hates too bright ones, and praises the most successful ones. Such a paradox. However, to become a “rebel idol”, you need to go a long way without breaking down from the blows of universal normality. In this case, you will be forgiven, and the presence of a rod will be recognized.

The most striking thing is that ostentatious carelessness is rarely a conscious choice. In general, it’s not ostentatious; it’s just the nature of carelessness. You can’t hide it, because you have more time and energy, fewer worries, and things to do. There are personal hobbies, seemingly simple amusements, but they take precedence over the most serious things like careers, relationships, and other things that society considers essential. If you ask such a person why he sticks out his strangeness, the answer will surprise you. It turns out that there are no special goals; he is not trying to prove anything to anyone, let alone impose, but simply lives in a way that infuriates even more.

5. Everyone wants it that way

No one dreams of being always busy, always gloomy, it seems, even physically a little hunched over from the burden of responsibility. However, a number of conditions are necessary for the growth of carelessness. You can take a chance and not think one step ahead, live one day if you are responsible only for yourself. When other people depend on you, carelessness becomes unacceptable and will be fairly condemned. However, almost always the framework does not arise by chance, but as a result of our actions and decisions.

The opportunity to be careless is not available to everyone, even if there is a conscious desire. By the time a person realizes how tired he is of his rhythm of life, carelessness turns out to be buried under innumerable obligations, problems, plans, and promises. If you have at least some carelessness, think about when and what you will be ready to exchange it for, because it is non-refundable.