How to find a partner for life
Finding a suitable romantic partner is challenging. Finding a person with whom you can live your whole life happily seems almost impossible. Take your time, spend time with friends, and remember yourself. Meet, but do not lose your head, thoughtfully choosing a partner. Love does not tolerate haste.
Tips on how to find a partner for life
1. Meet up
Don’t hide from the world
The more often you go on dates and chat with people, the higher the chances of meeting a pleasant person. Get out of the house and start attending parties and friend meetings, sign up for courses and chat with other students, and register on dating sites and apps. Behave boldly and unconventionally: for example, try to go on a quick date.
The most common way to meet a future partner is through mutual friends. Spend time with friends and ask them to introduce you to interesting people.
Public places and events are in second place. These include bars, poetry evenings, concerts, art exhibitions, church meetings, and more. The third place is occupied by work. If you work from home, try to move to a collective office. Visit your clients’ offices and attend conferences.
If you constantly see a person at work, take your time asking them out on a date, as this can complicate working relationships. Dating sites and applications are fourth, and social networks fifth. Sign up for popular services.
Invite people on dates
If you know someone in real life, invite them to meet. Speak directly so that the person interprets your offer correctly and gives a clear answer. Ask about a date during the goodbye to avoid awkwardness.
After completing the conversation, say: “It was very nice to talk to you, but I have to go. Maybe we can have lunch together sometime?”
If you are timid, try calling. However, you will have to find the phone number in this case.
If you meet an interesting person online, send them a friendly message. In this case, the meeting offer will be appropriate only after exchanging at least a few messages.
If you invite a friend, then prepare to refuse. It’s better to ask her out on a date before a possible rejection seems unbearable. Act at the first sign of sympathy for a person. Try to stay friends. The friend who refused you may later introduce you to your future partner.
Be reasonable
If you constantly worry about finding the “only” partner sooner, such behavior can be repulsive. Plan dates like you plan other meetings: have a pleasant time together and have friendly communication. On a date, think only about the date.
Ask open-ended questions, listen, and give honest answers.
Behave sincerely and naturally. Answer the questions honestly. Be yourself and don’t think about their opinion of you. Put the phone aside. Pay full attention to the date!
You don’t need to spend the whole evening analyzing this person’s suitability. A first date is just an introduction. Focus on the conversation and the chosen activity. Do not confess your love on the first date or start a conversation about a long-term relationship.
Be friendly
If you go on dates searching for a lifelong partner, try to show your best qualities. Do not try to command, and do not arrange mind games.
By making comments or discussing other people, you will only show yourself to be an insecure or violent person.
Enjoy the evening, even if you immediately realize you are not interested in a second date. Treat the person well! He deserves a polite and friendly attitude, even if you never meet again.
Dates should be interesting
Turning everything into a banal dinner with wine and an exchange of views is unnecessary. Choose the activities that you like. Buy a coffee and walk around the park. Go to an exhibition or a museum. Arrange to eat at a fast-food restaurant and sit at the bar.
Invite a person to a party or event. If you are overly worried about a face-to-face meeting, arrange a group date. Agree with other people’s ideas. If you are invited on a date, let the person arrange everything. You don’t have to assume you won’t like your new place or occupation.
2. Set yourself up for success
Education
Many couples get to know each other at universities and courses. In such places, people with shared interests and views spend much time together and can become friends or get closer. If you have already graduated, then sign up for courses on the topic you are interested in cooking, foreign languages, dancing, or commerce.
In addition to meeting a potential partner, you will receive education and skills that can extend a future relationship. Couples with higher education get divorced less often than less educated partners.
Health
Mental and physical health affects partner selection preferences and the duration of a relationship. Exercise regularly and sleep the required amount of time every night. The diet should be healthy and balanced. It is better to give up carbonated drinks and refined sugar. Visit your doctor regularly.
Do not forget to take care of your mental health. If you are shy, depressed, anxious, or nervous on dates, then contact a therapist.
Appearance
Try to look good to attract a partner. Remember about hygiene. Take a shower often, but use gel and shampoo up to three times a week. Brush your teeth regularly, and after eating, use dental floss to keep your breath fresh and your teeth look healthy.
Choose the right clothes. Although individual tastes determine the choice of clothes, you should generally wear clean, neat clothes that fit well. The colors should emphasize your appearance. If you can’t decide, choose black and other neutral shades.
Love yourself
Finding someone who will love you if you don’t love yourself is hard. Don’t be afraid to follow your desires: choose a job you like, pleasant friends, exciting hobbies, and good communication with your loved ones.
Ensure your emotional, physical, and financial well-being. A good attitude towards oneself indicates emotional resilience. Many people really like this quality.
Be a good and reliable friend
Your friends will most likely introduce you to your future partner. You can also always rely on them in difficult situations and get support in loneliness.
It is difficult to find a partner if you do not communicate with anyone, and it is also challenging to look like a confident and attractive person if you are alone and in dire need of friendly communication.
Treat your friends well. You don’t need to become a socialite. Remember all your friends, show reciprocal care, and remind them what you value them for.
3. Find the right partner
Define your desires
Think about what is important to you: friendships, children, financial stability, a sense of belonging to a group, creative success, adherence to all principles, and daily joy. Imagine what life looks like to you in three, five, thirty, and fifty years. Think not about “What kind of partner do I need?” but “What do I want from life?
Evaluate how well your current relationship aligns with your life goals. If it’s bad, consider whether you are ready to give up your aspirations for this person.
Adapt to your partner. Many people don’t know what they want. If you have found someone who supports your aspirations and expands your horizons, who is dear to you and for whom you are ready to change, then this may be a partner for life.
Become best friends
Romantic feelings are not the most reliable indicator of a relationship’s strength and duration. To live a life with a person, you need to respect him, enjoy his company, and take care of your partner. Don’t rush to commit yourself to the rest of your life if you haven’t become friends yet.
Two people should have the same sense of humor and be able to find reasons to laugh even in everyday life or difficult situations. Respect your partner’s way of thinking. If you do not like his ideas and views, you will hardly be pleased to spend your whole life with him.
Look for common interests. It is not necessary to do everything together, but finding preferences and activities that will bring you closer is important.
Treat each other as equals. Relationships in which one partner suppresses the other usually become unhappy. If your partner demands from you what he does not do himself, then your relationship is doomed.
Learn to trust, support, and respect each other. Strong relationships are built on these three whales.
Quarrel, but be careful
The relationship is very fragile in the early stages. After the first quarrel, you need to assess how much you want to stop everything. Sometimes, quarrels are perceived as the end of the world, but they are completely natural for any healthy relationship. Fight properly. Speak in the first person. Express your feelings, not blame your partner.
Be able to defuse the situation. If the dispute turns into an angry quarrel, it is better to moderate your ardor and make peace with your partner. Stop arguing, start listening, and look for compromises. If physical contact is comfortable for you at the moment of tension, then hold hands or hug. Use humor. Suggest a change of scenery.
For example, if you fight during a date, invite your partner on another date. Change the situation or move to another place, and say hello again as if at a new meeting. Don’t be afraid to express your thoughts or discuss controversial issues for fear of a breakup.
It is better to pull yourself together and invite your partner to do the same. If you do not need a specific change, try not to bring up controversial topics that have already caused disagreements.
This way, you will only satisfy your partner and not convince him according to your views. Being happy is more important than proving your case.
For example, if you quarreled over your close friend who does not like your partner, then discuss whether the partner is really ready to date you.
At the same time, do not argue if the partner considers the girlfriend annoying. If she annoys the partner, the dispute will only increase irritation.
Express your feelings gradually
After a few dates, you must say what you expect from such a relationship. You may want to know about your partner’s feelings and how serious they are. Refrain from demanding immediate answers, and show your partner that you like his company.
If it still needs to be prepared, then wait. People make decisions at different speeds. Don’t confess your love on first dates. Enjoy this excellent state for the first few months if you are confident in your feelings.
If you like a person but confess your love before you have reciprocal feelings, then say that you are not ready to say the same thing yet, but you want to continue the relationship because you feel strong sympathy.
Take your time
Marriages at an early age often end in divorce, and the same statistics apply to marriages immediately after the start of a relationship. If you find it challenging to tolerate loneliness, communicate with friends more often. Agree to dates, respect the person, and have a good time, but do not expect this relationship to last a lifetime.
Before you propose to a girl, meeting her for at least three years is better. The strength of a relationship depends on the degree of intimacy, and intimacy takes time.