At some point, we all seek someone else’s recognition; for example, we try to make our parents praise us. But what if this need has spilled over into adulthood? Fight it. The habit of seeking approval from others is exhausting and hinders the development of adequate self-esteem.
9 ways on how to understand that you tend to seek other people’s approval
1. You want to be praised all the time
If you depend on other people’s approval, it is unpleasant when your efforts and achievements go unnoticed. You’re constantly trying to get them noticed and praised. It makes you get stuck in what others like, not you. Everything, whether work, appearance, or opinion, depends on what others think.
2. Your self-esteem is related to how you are perceived
Your self-image may depend on how other people perceive you. If you’re constantly looking for approval, then you probably are. You tend to value other people’s opinions above your own, and it’s like you’re always trying to look at yourself through other people’s eyes. This habit is exhausting because you infringe on your needs or happiness when trying to meet or exceed other people’s expectations.
3. You can’t stand criticism
People who constantly seek approval can’t stand criticism. And the fact is that their self-esteem is based on someone else’s perception. Visit. A F R I N I K .C O M .For the full article. If someone criticizes you, you interpret it as an attack on your personality, opinion, and values. You perceive even the slightest remarks as a sign of personal failure or inadequacy. Taking them to heart allows others to influence how you feel about yourself.
4. It’s hard for you to make independent decisions
Independent decisions are another big problem for people who depend on others’ approval. If you are one of them, choosing without asking someone else’s opinion and trusting your judgment is difficult. This applies to anything from choosing an outfit for a party to deciding which company to get a job at.
5. You apologize too often
The habit of apologizing “just in case” may indicate a need for approval. For example, you can ask for forgiveness for being too emotional, for your opinion, or when you turn to someone for support. Excessive apologies often reflect deep guilt and insecurity—as if you must constantly make excuses for who you are.
6. Do you like to please people?
There’s a big difference between doing something nice for others and constantly pleasing them. When you try to make someone happy despite your discomfort, it’s a sign of pleasing. But the problem is that no one will appreciate you more, even if you try your best to achieve it.
7. You’re too sensitive to rejection
Imagine you invited a friend to visit, but he refused, citing his busy schedule. What will be your reaction? If you seek other people’s approval, you will be upset, as you will perceive this situation as a personal rejection. You may start to doubt that your friend is interested in communicating with you or suspect you might have done something wrong.
You also take a long time to meticulously analyze life situations and assume the worst when someone says no. You are driven by the fear of being rejected and misunderstood, characteristic of people who seek the approval of others.
8. You’re too worried about whether you’ll fit into the staf
You may be reviewing your likes and dislikes about joining the team. It’s too crucial for you to become “your own” and fit in, so losing your identity doesn’t seem like a big problem. By trying to conform to the group’s norms, appearance, or opinion, you suppress your thoughts, beliefs, and preferences, leading to frustration and loss of yourself.
9. It’s hard for you to love yourself
People who constantly seek approval have difficulty loving themselves. They find it difficult to accept themselves for who they are; instead, they compare themselves with others who do not favor them.
Things can you do to stop seeking approval from others
Look for the root of your fear
To stop looking for external confirmation, you need to get to the bottom of what scares you. Perhaps you’re afraid of being rejected, not good enough, or doing something wrong. By writing out your fears on paper and analyzing where they might have come from, it will be much easier to eliminate the need for praise from others and reconsider your attitude towards yourself.
Change the internal dialogue
You can use the power of internal dialogue to avoid seeking someone else’s approval. Stop constantly criticizing yourself or thinking that you won’t be able to make an independent choice. Condemnation and accusations should leave your head and be replaced by encouraging, pleasant words addressed to yourself.
Reduce the number of comparisons
It may be challenging to give up comparisons completely, but you can start reducing their number. You may have to reduce your time on social media, purge your subscriptions, or distance yourself from people who make you feel worse than you are.
Develop a sense of self-acceptance
To create a foundation for healthy self-esteem, it is necessary to practice self-acceptance. Keep a diary where you will record important things for self-confidence every day or several times a week: what independent decisions you have made, what knowledge you have gained, and what actions you are proud of.
Write about what feels right to you and the moments when you stayed true to yourself despite what others think. Over time, more recordings will give you motivation and confidence to eliminate the need for someone else’s approval.
Behave as if you already have approval
Imagine that you have already received the approval of other people to behave the way you want. This practice helps to cope with the need for other people’s advice and guidance, limited only by one’s imagination and not by the opinion of others. It gives you confidence, reduces stress, and helps you find what’s important to you and not to those around you.
Separate emotions from reality
If someone calls you beautiful today and unattractive tomorrow, your face won’t change in any way. It is worth remembering this simple truth to overcome the habit of seeking the approval of others. Other people’s words are just a reflection of a point of view and nothing more.
Develop qualities that will help you cope with criticism instead of naively trusting other people. The emotions you experience during praise or condemnation don’t always correspond to reality, so it’s essential to separate them and deal with them without letting them destroy your self-esteem.
