You approached her, interested, numbered, dated, kissed her… But for now, she doesn’t really want to sleep with you yet. Sometimes everything goes perfectly: you love it, and you feel that it is mutual.
However, sometimes, a grain of sand can come to block your plan of seduction… especially if the girl controls her state of mind too much and has difficulty letting go. You are at home, on your couch, you even start the foreplay when suddenly, she gets dressed and declares that she prefers to wait a little longer before sleeping with you.
Clearly, she does not feel ready. To make love, you have to let go, trust the other, in short, accept to let yourself be carried away, and not want to control everything.
When a girl is relaxed and trusts you, everything is fine. But suppose things don’t go fast enough for your taste. In that case, it’s because the girl is more in control, she can’t let go… (often because you don’t reassure her enough, because you don’t inspire enough confidence in your attitudes and words).
How can you make girls feel more comfortable, turn a woman on, and let go more easily with you?
State of mind will destroy everything in these 3 situations
1. The girl who just broke up
Her ex-boyfriend always floods her thoughts, even though she’s having a good time with you. Some girls will let go se*xually to “forget” the breakup while others will control their condition to avoid suffering again. In the second case, she will tell you: “I am not looking for absolutely anything at the moment”.
She needs some time to move on. What to understand: Her emotional fragility has raised a fortress around her. She went through all the emotions related to the breakup or is still in the middle of it.
Out of the question for her to add a dose to the cocktail of emotions that she struggles to digest by sleeping with you! The best thing to do: s**x is not her priority, look elsewhere to find it.
2. The girl traumatized by her past
These are the traumas suffered by women who were raped, s**xually abused during their childhood, or who had experienced any form of trauma that would have impacted their lives. In the worst cases, a trauma will have anchored in her the repulsive images of her past, which will reappear as soon as you reproduce certain gestures that you consider quite normal.
Her unconscious will order her to control her condition so as not to relive a painful experience. The best thing to do: get her close and help her out. But that is not your role as an alien, especially if you are not qualified to care for her. Worse yet, you could make the situation worse than anything else!
If you really want to give her a helping hand, recommend (empathetically, not condescendingly) that she brings in a professional. That’s the best service you could give her. And if you really like this girl who is in pain because of her s**xuality, be patient and communicate.
3. you remind her of her ex-boyfriend
Whether you are a capitalist whose job is the priority or a gym junkie, the observation is the same for her: you are the carbon copy of her ex.
Everything is going well between you, but old memories are holding her back. She doesn’t want to experience a remake of her past. What to understand: If you remind her of the bad sides of her ex, there is nothing you can do about it.
She loved him for qualities that she may find in you, but you share the same faults as him. Best thing to do: If it gets stuck, go ahead, and you’ll save a lot of time. But rest assured, there are other cases in which you will be able to sleep with women more quickly.
Situations where you can control the girl’s state of mind:
1. The tired girl
You shovel her, and your stick begins to distort your pants. But it’s 4 am, and she tells you: “I’m too tired to go any further, it would be more reasonable if I go to bed.” Her message is clear: it will be for later.
What to understand: your worst enemy is the passage of time, but it is also your best ally. You need to awaken her senses by promising some good love that she won’t be living again anytime soon. You pose an “ultimatum,” which will have the merit of being clear; immediate pleasure just before falling asleep, or bedtime as boring as any other.
2. She’s got her sights set on another guy
There is s*xual tension between you, but she keeps talking about her “crush” at the moment. Or it almost puts you out of the game by releasing the famous: “I’m already on a record”. She likes a guy even more than you do, at least for now.
What to understand: in the event that she has views on a man other than you, you will win by playing on the proximity. Away from the eyes, away from the breasts; if you occupy the space and the chair next to her, she will be thinking of you. By isolating the girl and dodging “his crush”, you will no longer be in direct competition with him.
3. you are not her type of man
She always goes out with guys taller than her, with well-off types, or with a social status superior/equal to her own. Even if this girl is attracted to you, you do not fit into the stereotypical mold of the men she sees typically, whether from a physical, economic, or social point of view…
What you need to understand: You need flawless play, high social value, and a bit of luck to pull off this overnight heist.
It is possible, but the task will not be easy. Is the game worth the candle? It’s up to you to decide. Some like a challenge and are not afraid of anything to seduce a woman they like. Be careful, however, not to burn your wings.
The essentials to seduce her: Get out of the game! (Be yourself, but ten times better, to the max.) It might be enough for a night of love or a week, but if you knock all your cards down early on, you won’t go the distance, and you won’t keep it.
4. The girl who has different “principles” from yours
She’s the girl who says she doesn’t sleep the first night or the one who prefers to get to know you better before going any further. What many call “principles” is actually everyone’s own reality.
Beyond her desires and the envy you get in her, there are factors external to her impulses that come into play. The criterion of its reputation is the most fatal for you. What will we say about her if the rumor of sleeping with you spreads?
Her priority: to protect her reputation, even if it means curbing her desire. This is all the more the case in small towns (where everyone knows each other more or less) and in closed spaces (at work or in class).
What you have to understand: you will have to bring her into your own reality, make her understand that you will not judge her if you fXck the first night, that you respect her vision of things.
If she thinks that your parts of legs in the air could have negative social consequences on her life (judgments of those close to her, mockery…), you should reassure her by affirming that your s**x life remains private.