Individuals, you should never seek for advice on relationships
There’s nothing wrong with getting together with friends and talking about relationships. But still, not everyone can give valuable advice regarding such a personal and sensitive topic. There are several categories of people with whom you should refrain from discussing your girlfriend or the problems between you now and then.
7 Individuals, you should never seek for advice on relationships
1. Those who are angry at exes and relationships in general
People who have been in toxic relationships experienced a difficult breakup, or cannot find a mate may be embittered by their circumstances. Those disappointed or with negative emotions toward their exes may experience the same emotions. Asking them for advice is like signing a verdict on your peace of mind and hopes.
Their statements will be full of negativity and include many warnings that do not correspond to reality. Indeed, there will be at least one friend among your social circle who considers all women frivolous, prone to infidelity, and not trustworthy. It would be best if you didn’t ask him for relationship advice unless you want to be disappointed or listen to cynical statements about your girlfriend and what’s going on between you for hours.
2. People focused on appearance
Quite often, people who focus solely on the attractiveness of the girls they meet give foolish advice. Especially if your lady of the heart needs to meet their beauty standards, those who do not care about human qualities and other essential aspects of a relationship should not believe.
Their partnership approach needs to be more altruistic and fundamentally right. Beauty is a subjective and conditional concept; a person’s appearance is never enough to build a solid and long—term relationship with him. Please do not believe the statements of those who look for only an attractive face and a beautiful figure in girls, and I advise you to do the same.
3. Those who consider relationships to be a game
Relationships can only be a game if you don’t strive for anything serious. But if you want to build a long-term relationship, you should give up this view of things and stop asking advice from those who adhere to it. They will suggest that you perceive dating as a pre-prepared play rather than time spent with someone you are interested in. For everyone who says,
“Tell her a joke, even if it’s not funny,” someone will say, “Laugh at jokes, even if you don’t like them.” However, such pretense will not help build a trusting relationship with someone.
There is a big difference between trying to be a better person and pretending to be another person to have a relationship. You should not constantly do something inconvenient for you, even if you like a girl and hear advice from good friends. The one who truly loves you will perceive you as you are.
4. Those who refer to an ideal relationship
Some people are happy in a relationship and consider themselves a source of worldly wisdom. They will give advice based on their experience and believe it is correct. But the fact is, only some things that worked in their relationship may be right for you. Often, their advice and stories about what an ideal partnership should be are genuinely devastating.
You involuntarily compare what is happening in your relationship with their life, which can lead to disappointment and doubt in your choice. You will experience the same feelings when asking for advice from those who constantly refer to the “ideal relationship,” which is the model they have come up with. Their statements may be unrealistic, but they still seem true. And this can harm your normal, even if not ideal, relationship.
5. People who have never been in a relationship
If you have never changed the brake pads on a car, you are unlikely to be able to give sensible advice on how to do this. The same rule applies to relationships. Those who have never been in them are unlikely to be able to suggest something worthwhile. Of course, they have some experience observing the marriages and breakups of friends, but still, more is needed.
Without experiencing dates, difficulties in a relationship, or a breakup, a person is unlikely to be able to tell you what to do in a given situation. V I S I T . A F R I N I K . C O M . He may know the problems, but he has never experienced the accompanying feelings. He can understand what is happening in your life, but it is too “ flat” at the level of facts, not emotional experiences.
6. Your ex-wife’s
Asking your ex for relationship advice is a terrible decision, if only because your relationship with her was unsuccessful. Of course, valuable lessons can be learned from parting, but it’s still worth doing it in your head without contacting someone who experienced it with you. In addition, exes do not often intentionally want to harm our new relationship. Therefore, presenting wisdom and a desire to help, they say nonsense that will lead to problems.
7. People on forums on the Internet
There are better ideas than taking your problems online. Even thematic forums dedicated to love, issues, and similarly sensitive topics are full of people who want to make fun of someone or ruin a stranger’s life on the other side of the screen. Believe me; there are enough people on the Internet who have fun and enjoy themselves at the expense of the sadness of others. Trusting them with your secrets and noticing that you lose your temper when you receive comments, you will not only not figure out the problem but also spoil your mood.
In addition, some “tips” on the Internet can affect your self—esteem or destroy a relationship – why would you do that? I can say that by reading the opinions of Internet interlocutors, you can lose faith in humanity and your happy future. You should not trust their advice, even if it seems convincing. If you need to talk to someone about a relationship but don’t want to tell your friends about the problems, contact a psychologist, not an online community.