A relationship with a loved one or someone present in your life for a long time implies a certain degree of trust and affection. You share your emotional state, outlook on life, and habits with each other, gradually erasing the boundaries between you.
But this rapprochement is not always for the benefit of both of you. Unfortunately, many people do not know how to build healthy relationships with others. They begin to take advantage of the privileges they have gained: ignoring the other person’s boundaries, undermining their self-confidence, putting pressure on them to make important decisions, and destroying their personality in other ways. We have collected a few signs that you should be careful with the person. Cut such behavior short, and if they can’t or won’t hear you, keep communication to a minimum for your own good.
7 signs someone wants to destroy you
1. He is constantly criticizing your actions
You may be used to the idea that people who care about you will have an opinion one way or another about what you do. They worry about you, fear that your risks won’t be justified, and sincerely hope that you’ll do well in life. But it’s important that you don’t fall into the trap of believing that others are sincere.
If a person constantly criticizes your actions, continuing to do so even when you ask them to stop, it’s not okay. He can justify his actions however he wants, but the message is the same: your words mean nothing to him. He likes to assert himself at your expense, show he’s more intelligent than you, and teach you about life. And he is unlikely to change his behavior because if the man did not immediately listen to your requests, he would not take them in the future.
Constant criticism is slowly but surely destroying you. At first, you begin to doubt the correctness of your actions, increasingly analyze what is happening in your life, and worry about the possible consequences of your decisions. Gradually, you realize that you feel anxious, under constant stress, and pay too much attention to people’s opinions.
2. He does not take your words seriously
A powerful way to destroy a person’s personality is not to take what they say seriously. When you tell others what you’re going through, ask them for things or tell them life stories, and you get contemptuous laughter or an incredulous tone in return, you shut yourself off. Especially if what you were trying to convey to the other person is something important to you.
Every time your words are ignored or not taken seriously, your brain gets confirmation that you don’t matter. You begin to feel helpless because you cannot get through to the other person. This leads to self-esteem problems, difficulty expressing emotions, withdrawal, and mistrust.
3. He violates your personal boundaries
No one should violate your personal boundaries-not your friends, not your parents, and not the person you love. But unfortunately, you may not always be aware of this in good time. Sometimes your companion crosses the line so gracefully that you are left in the dark. And afterward, when you finally realize that something is wrong, you realize that it is already too late.
Breaking personal boundaries is another way of destroying you. A person can overstep boundaries while making you feel guilty or accusing you of being selfish. Your self-esteem will drop to a plinth level every time you tolerate some words and actions that displease you. Over time, the person may even destroy the boundaries you’ve exhibited, and you’ll lose your ability to assert your psychological comfort in communication.
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4. Puts pressure on you
Some people have a talent for manipulation. In order to get what they want, they put pressure on you by covering up their actions with the desire to help you, make your life better, or by choosing another even more effective tactic: blackmail.
When you are constantly subjected to psychological pressure, eventually, you get tired of fighting and decide to give up and do what the person wants. You do it for fear of losing or hurting them and agree to step over yourself. This threatens you with self-esteem problems, inability to make decisions for yourself, constant doubts about your actions, and excessive attention to what others think of you.
5. He’s not treating you as an equal
If you are two adults, you need to treat each other as equals. When someone tries to make you believe that one of you is superior, it’s worth questioning the other person’s good intentions. This could be a sign that he wants to take a dominant position – to assert himself at your expense and show himself to be smarter, stronger, more successful, etc. In doing so, you will necessarily have to take a lower position.
You should not be silent when a person tries to undermine your merits and devalue your efforts by elevating yourself. It is unpleasant, but it can destroy you and make you believe that you don’t stand out.
6. He makes you believe that love and respect have to be earned
If the person you’ve let close to you is trying to show you have to earn their love and respect, end up getting closer. The idea that you have to do something out of the ordinary or please others in order to be loved is fundamentally wrong. People don’t love for something – rather, it’s despite it. You can love all your faults, with character traits that annoy you and a lack of common interests.
Remember this and stop any attempt to force you to change or make any sacrifices for him. This won’t earn you love, but it will leave you psychologically damaged and insecure. It’s better to let such people go and let them look for someone who will agree to their terms.
7. He makes fun of the things you care about
There’s nothing worse than a person you’ve confided in who ends up making fun of what you care about. It doesn’t matter if it’s your memories from childhood, ideas, dreams of the future, or feelings. If the person you’re talking to can’t find the strength to at least hold back and be quiet, if they don’t like something in your emotional story, it’s not worth your time.
Never put up with this kind of attitude. People who treat you respectfully will never allow themselves to be ridiculed for something that is of great value to you.