Signs that the person is not who claims to be

We like to believe that people are who they say they are. However, their true motives do not always coincide with what they try to convey through behavior. In order not to fall for the bait of scammers and those who want to take advantage of you, it is essential to notice small details that indicate that the person is far from what he is trying to appear.

8 signs that the person is not who claims to be

1. He treats people differently depending on the circumstances

Look at how a person treats others when they have nothing to offer him in return. It perfectly shows his true face and character. For example, your interlocutor may be friendly and courteous with people in leadership positions but rude to cleaners. You may also notice that he tries to be friendly with the servers, but his speech hints at disdain or intolerance.

Over time, such patterns will become more apparent, making it clear that this person’s kindness is not sincere but strategic. And if his respect for someone depends only on circumstances or status, then sooner or later, you may find yourself on the other side of his benevolence.

2. He’s cute only when there’s someone nearby

Some people know exactly how to behave when people are looking at them. They say the right things, offer help at the right moment, and seem to be the most pleasant conversationalists in the room. But when no one is around to see them, their behavior changes. Caring gestures disappear, patience runs out, and warmth fades.

At first, it may seem that a person relaxes when alone with you or unconsciously behaves this way. But he is only showing his true self because pretending is always impossible. His motives are determined only by the need to look good in the eyes of others and not by a sincere desire to communicate and be friends with you. Remember: it is inaccurate if someone’s kindness exists only when observers are nearby.

3. He talks a lot about morality, but he doesn’t live by it

It’s easy to talk about kindness, honesty, and decency—living up to these values is much more complicated. Some people like to present themselves as moral people. They speak passionately about loyalty, justice, and compassion, but when it comes time to act on those beliefs, they fail.

This is a bad sign if a person constantly talks about honesty and openness but simultaneously easily distorts the truth or takes advantage of others. When words and actions don’t match, it’s not an accident but a conscious choice that reveals that he’s not at all what he’s trying to seem.

4. He rarely apologizes or does it formally

How a person apologizes or refuses to ask for forgiveness says a lot about him. Sincere apologies require acknowledging what was wrong, expressing remorse, and trying to change. But some people don’t manage to do everything at once. Instead of sincerity, they offer vague, formal apologies like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I guess I was wrong.”

Worse, some people avoid admitting guilt altogether. They downplay their actions, make excuses, or act like they overreact to the pain they’ve caused. This behavior gives away that they want to appear completely different from who they are, and the lack of apologies is their way of maintaining control over the situation.

5. He makes jokes at the expense of other people

Some people use humor not to establish contact or defuse the situation but as a weapon and a way to disguise cruelty as comedy. It all starts unnoticeably: a sarcastic remark here, a passive-aggressive joke there, and humor, followed by the saying, “Relax, I was just joking.”

But actual jokes should be funny for everyone, not just for the person who makes them up. Teasing, which seems harmless enough, can quickly become a veiled insult that cannot be tolerated. If one of your friends makes fun of other people’s mistakes or character traits or makes you feel like a jerk, he’s not as good a person as he tries to appear.

6. He ignores other people’s feelings

How a person reacts to other people’s feelings, especially if they make him uncomfortable, speaks volumes about his character. Some people listen, even if they don’t fully understand, while others roll their eyes and act as if emotions are an inconvenience. They use phrases like “You’re too sensitive” or “It’s not that important.” Because of this, you may feel that your emotions don’t matter and that it’s a shame to experience them. But when someone refuses to acknowledge other people’s feelings, the problem lies with them, not others.

7. He never rejoices at your success

You can tell a lot about a person by how they react when good things happen in other people’s lives. If he can’t be happy for those around him, or at least tactfully keep silent, but instead tries to devalue the moment or change the subject, he’s far from who he’s trying to pretend to be. And such people can disappear when something significant happens in the lives of their friends.

But when others are in trouble, they are there to sympathize and express their point of view. If one of your friends is comfortable talking to you only when you have many problems, it’s time to distance yourself from them. A person who does not know how to be happy for others is not just envious but sees life as a constant competition that is not worth participating in.

8. He never takes responsibility for his actions

Mistakes happen, and the hardest thing to do about them is to start admitting them. But some people stubbornly refuse to do this. They shift the blame onto others and find a thousand excuses. At first, it may seem they have problems with responsibility and admission of guilt. But it’s not just that: a person who doesn’t accept responsibility for his actions may want to appear better than he is.