Signs that you have betrayed yourself in a relationship
Relationships are exciting, especially in the early stages, when everything is new. You’re in a phase where you’re learning a lot about your partner. You may be willing to walk a couple of kilometers to meet her, or you’re trying to get rid of bad habits to become the best version of yourself, and that’s commendable. However, excessive concentration on making your partner happier will also betray you.
When you want to build a relationship, you start going against your values, striving to meet other people’s expectations, even if you act to your detriment. Unfortunately, it is not always easy to recognize the signs that you are betraying yourself in a relationship. However, looking at your actions, you can understand that you are doing exactly that.
5 signs that you have betrayed yourself in a relationship
1. You say, “Everything is fine,” even though you feel bad
We can pretend that everything is fine when, in fact, it is not, to avoid a difficult conversation or not upset the partner. Of course, talking about feelings can be very uncomfortable. And maybe the decision to come to terms with the situation and “save face” seems like the best solution to the problem, but it’s not.
The more often you avoid your emotions and put on a mask of positivity when the mental attitude is not conducive to this, the more you betray yourself. In addition, you do not allow the partner to see her authentic self, which can lead to a feeling of understatement and misunderstanding in the relationship.
Another problem against the constant “wearing a mask” is that, over time, a girl can get used to it and start thinking that you are satisfied with the current state of things. She will unwittingly repeat patterns of behavior that you don’t like, which will make you accumulate resentments. Don’t be afraid to be “uncomfortable” occasionally and talk about how you feel. A person who truly loves you will try to understand and support you to make it easier. If a partner is comfortable being around you only when you pretend to be happy, you should consider whether you need such a relationship.
2. You are ignoring the facts
You find yourself in such an unpleasant situation that you refuse to accept it. For example, you can create the illusion in your head that your relationship is perfect. You start ignoring the little things that don’t suit you or focus on the potential of a romantic connection rather than whether it makes you happy. By doing so, you put on rose-colored glasses and see only the good, which may be too little.
You are simply deceiving yourself to avoid pain and the realization that reality is different from your fantasy. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article. But sooner or later, you will still see the unpleasant truth, which will feel like a tub of icy water by the scruff of the neck. If you don’t want to betray yourself in a relationship, always look back at the facts, not the illusory stories you came up with.
3. You change to meet the expectations of a partner
When you have to change yourself, not because you want to get better, but to meet the expectations of a partner, you betray yourself. And you’re also giving her too much power and control, which can play tricks on you. Everyone is different; we act and live how we feel comfortable, cozy, and safe.
No one should go beyond radically changing their appearance, style, social circle, or worldview or improve their own “flaws” solely for the sake of someone else. Changing in the hope of meeting a girl’s expectations is a direct path to unhappiness and self—doubt. No one says to ignore her words and advice, but it is always necessary to pass them through the prism of an important question: “Do I want this myself?”
4. You stop taking care of yourself
You can’t pour water from an empty jug — this is a truth we often forget when we experience the thrill and excitement of entering a new relationship. We can focus so much on caring for a partner that we forget about ourselves. And if this approach to life becomes a habit, you must say goodbye to a good relationship with yourself. Yes, taking care of a loved one is fine, but taking care of yourself is necessary.
If you ignore your needs and desires, stop setting personal goals, and develop, you can notice how you start living to please others and not know what you need yourself. As a result, you get so lost that you forget what kind of person you were before the relationship and what you wanted. And it can be challenging to find yourself again if that happens.
5. You become emotionally dependent
It’s nice to share joyful and memorable moments with a partner or to be excited when you spend time together. However, if you make her the only source of your joy and well-being, this is a sign that your infatuation is developing into an emotional addiction. Why is this a problem? Firstly, you forget how to enjoy life alone by shifting responsibility for your happiness to someone else.
Secondly, the partner becomes the center of your universe, and slowly, you lose both your “I” and what was dear to him. In addition, emotional dependence is the transfer of control over you into the wrong hands. Unfortunately, this eventually leads to great disappointment and heartache in many situations. Healthy relationships are complementary; you and your girlfriend should be able to do different things you like and find happiness in love and other sources — family, hobbies, and friends.