When you think of a market, you probably imagine a square with stalls and goods, but there’s another type of market where the “goods” are the men who sit under the shade of trees, hoping to be chosen as husbands by a girl’s family. This strange tradition dates back over 700 years and continues to exist despite civilization. However, it’s important to note that choosing a husband is not an easy process. Each side has its own requirements, and in between them stands the panjikar, the registrar, who keeps a watchful eye to ensure that there is no blood relation between them for 5-7 generations.
Why are they rushing to get their daughter married in India
In India, the birth of a daughter has long been considered not so much a joy as a challenge for the family. It’s not that girls are less loved than boys. The reason is more prosaic and sad: there is an ancient dowry tradition that turns every daughter into a financial burden for her parents. This is one of the reasons why child marriages are common in India. Although they are prohibited, they still exist in secret, with parents choosing a partner for their daughter without consulting her.
Public opinion and traditions become a scourge, as an unmarried girl after a certain age is the subject of gossip and shame for the entire family. Neighbors whisper, relatives insistently advise, and older family members urge to hurry up, as the “clock is ticking.” Parents fear that the older their daughter becomes, the less chance she has of finding a suitable match and the higher the dowry she will have to pay.
Additionally, there is a religious aspect: in Hinduism, it is believed that a father who does not marry off his daughter on time sins. As a result, many girls get married before the age of eighteen, without having the time or opportunity to pursue an education or a profession. For parents, marrying their daughter is not only a sacred duty, but also a way to shift financial responsibility onto her husband and his family.
However, there is one big problem: finding the right groom is not so easy. Especially if the family is poor or belongs to a low caste. In such cases, matchmakers and relatives can search for years, but the situation only gets worse each year. When all possible acquaintances have already been interviewed, but there is no result, parents despair and begin to look for more non-standard ways. And that’s where an amazing tradition that has been around for over 700 years comes to the rescue.
Finding a husband simplifies the market of suitors in Bihar
In the Indian state of Bihar, which is considered one of the poorest and most conservative states in the country, there is a unique place called the Groom Market, which has been in existence since the 14th century. This market is known as “Sabhagachhi” or “Saurath Mela” and is only open for nine days each year. During this time, the city of Madhubani transforms into a bustling marketplace, where thousands of men gather in the central square under the shade of the Bodhi and Mango trees. These men come from various parts of the state, and sometimes even from neighboring regions, to be seen and chosen by potential brides. The families of brides, in turn, come to this “bazaar” in the hope of finding a suitable match for their daughter.
The bridegroom market was founded by Raja Hari Singh of the Karnatak dynasty, who ruled these lands in the Middle Ages. According to legend, the ruler noticed that many girls remained unmarried because their families had difficulty finding suitable bachelors. He decided to create a place where men willing to get married could showcase themselves, and the families of brides could inspect and choose them. The idea turned out to be so successful that the tradition has not died, but, on the contrary, it is still thriving, despite all the achievements of civilization and the emergence of the Internet.
Requirements: the bride chooses for her merits, the groom asks for a ransom
The marriage market has its own unwritten rules, which are followed more strictly than any law. Men who come here line up under the trees or sit on mats, holding signs with information about themselves. These signs include their name, age, caste, education, profession, and income. Sometimes, you can also see more detailed information, such as their language skills, property ownership, and even their physical characteristics. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article. Each groom is evaluated by potential brides based on several criteria, just like a product on a store shelf.
Families of brides with girls walk between the rows, look around, ask questions, and bargain. Yes, bargaining is not just appropriate here, but it is an essential part of the process. The size of the dowry depends directly on the groom’s “quality”. The higher his education, the more prestigious his profession, and the better his background, the more he can ask for. Doctors, engineers, and government officials are particularly highly valued, and they can demand substantial sums for their consent to marriage. On the other hand, grooms with physical disabilities, low income, or poor education are forced to accept a minimal dowry or even give it up altogether, just to be chosen by someone.
Brides in this process are not just passive observers. The final decision rests with the parents, but the girl can also have a say. She can reject a candidate if she doesn’t like his appearance or finds him impolite, although this is often overlooked in favor of his income and social status.
However, it’s not just about the candidate’s merits; caste affiliation plays a significant role. Indians still believe that marrying within the same caste ensures a long and happy married life. This is why the bridegroom market is often criticized for reinforcing caste barriers and preventing young people from marrying for love.
The final step in the selection process is to ensure that the couple is not related by blood: the groom must be at least seven generations removed from the bride’s father, and the bride must be at least five generations removed from the groom’s mother. The registry officer, known as a panjikar, compares these details and determines whether the union is approved or not. In the case of a good result, he receives a generous payment, and his parents begin to prepare for the wedding.
A 700-year-old tradition, after which word of mouth begins to work
If a suitable groom is not found, parents continue their search using other methods. One of these methods is the traditional “word of mouth” and the services of professional matchmakers. After the market closes, information about unmarried girls is spread throughout the area through relatives, friends, and intermediaries.
The groom market is just one part of the system that allows parents to find their daughter’s husband on their own. For many families, it is the first step in the process. If a groom is found at the market, it can save a lot of time and stress. If not, it’s okay; the search process continues using other methods. Sometimes parents arrange for the marriage of their children when they are still young, and such arrangements are considered quite normal in India.
How offensive can the groom market be? Men who come to Bihar voluntarily do not consider it a humiliation, but rather perceive it as an honest business deal where each side gets what they want. Everything is open: the man gets a dowry and a wife, and the bride’s family gets a worthy son-in-law who can provide a stable future for their daughter.
Bihar remains an island of stability for conservative families and will not disappear as long as the dowry custom and societal pressure to marry off daughters as early as possible exist in the country. For the same reason, men cannot safely go outside during the marriage season, as they are often kidnapped and forced to marry their daughters.
