When we don’t get enough attention from a partner, we may think that something is wrong in the relationship. The main thing, in this case, is to remain calm, understand the reasons and take the first step to correct the situation. You will learn from this article what to do if you lack the attention of a partner.
6 things to do when your partner doesn’t give you attention
1. Understand where this feeling comes from
We may miss a partner‘s attention for various reasons. They will have to be clarified in the first place so as not to blame your loved one in vain.
First, think about how often you spend time together. For example, do you talk after work, do joint activities, make common plans for the future. If all this is present in your relationship, but this is not enough for you, it is too early to think about parting or cooling your feelings. Several reasons can contribute to the emergence of a feeling of inattention.
First, we may lack care if we really spend little time with a partner. For example, because of his busy work schedule, business trips, and other urgent matters. He may not have the energy to go to the movies or a romantic dinner at the end of the week.
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Secondly, the lack of attention may be due to our inability to spend time alone with ourselves. We may just be bored, we don’t know what to do with ourselves, and at this moment, we experience a lack of attention from a partner.
Thirdly, the reason for the constant lack of attention may be our low self-esteem. In this case, the sensation is accompanied by an anxiety that someone else is occupying his attention or he doesn’t like us as before. In this case, we need constant confirmation of our importance from our partner.
In conclusion, it is worth saying that attention needs can be different. Someone needs a constant connection, writes several messages a day to his partner, and wants to spend with him 24 hours, 7 days a week. And for another, time spent on a date, or talking about the day’s events before going to bed, is enough.
2. Talk to your partner about it
There is no better way to solve a problem in a relationship than by talking about it. We can speculate for a long time and make assumptions in our heads, trying to understand the actions of another person and concluding. But in this way, we wind ourselves up even more and go in cycles of the negative.
Choose a time convenient for a sincere conversation, and start it. Do not use the phrase: “You pay me insufficient attention” or similar accusations. Better express your feelings and needs. Say that you would like to spend more time with a guy or hear about his feelings. Discuss how much attention each of you needs, how much you are willing to give it, and try to find a compromise in this.
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You can specify what you need so that your partner understands you better. After all, no one can read other people’s minds. Suggest ways to make your relationship better, and don’t forget about your role in this matter.
3. Offer joint activities
The difference in interests or the inability to spend time together often become the reason for inattention to each other. It’s good when each of you has a separate hobby, but it’s important to pay attention to common activities as well.
It would help if you did not wait until your boyfriend understood that it was time to plan joint leisure. Become an initiator – invite him to arrange a date every Friday or attend some event shortly. Plan to go to a cafe with friends, cook dinner, clean up – any fun or useful activities that will help you spend time together.
4. Offer to help him with his affairs
As we already mentioned, due to the busy schedule and everyday activities, the partner can be very tired and therefore not pay attention to us. Show that you care about your boyfriend, let him know that you are ready to help him deal with something on his to-do list.
Such an offer will show that you are not indifferent to his life and help free up more time to spend together. For example, if he’s busy fixing his car over the weekend, help him clean up his garage. Or offer to search for the articles he needs while he is at work so that in the evening he can read the selection and devote more time to you.
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5. Praise his efforts and be grateful
Often we prevent our partner from paying more attention to us. This is due to our dissatisfaction with his endeavours or taking it for granted.
Be sure to praise your partner for the attention he gives you. For romantic surprises or just washed dishes. Emphasize that you enjoy spending time with him. Even when the restaurant he chose was unsuccessful, the movie did not live up to your expectations.
The more often a person hears that we are grateful and glad for what he is doing, the more he wants to continue his endeavours. And if we do not notice his efforts or constantly demand more, not thanks for what he has done, we can discourage the desire to try for good.
6. Set an example
To not make attention a routine and a duty in the eyes of a partner sets an example for him of how pleasant and important it is. Agree, it will be a shame for everyone if something is demanded of him, but they do not show this in return.
It is not necessary to give expensive gifts or plan grandiose events if you do not have the opportunity to do so. Show how to show more attention to each other in everyday life. Listen to his story about work without interrupting, or ask clarifying questions if you do not understand something. Send him a lovely message during the working day. Kiss him when you leave for work or pat him on the back while he spends time at the computer.
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Often it is the example that makes a person do the same in response. Note that the guy may need time to get started. Therefore, you should be patient and not demand everything from him at once.
