Why does a relationship make you lonely?

Many people strive to build stable relationships to stop feeling lonely. But this does not work in all cases. Sometimes, even with a loved one, you can feel loneliness no less than if you were alone. This may seem strange because you have someone to talk to and something to do with your free time with a girl.

It is not always easy to realize on your own what precisely the reason for your loneliness is. It’s one thing if they ignore you and you rarely see each other. It’s quite another when everything seems to be fine in your couple. We’ve collected a few non-obvious reasons that make you feel lonely.

5 signs of relationship loneliness

1. You can’t rely on the person

Of course, you can assume that everything in a relationship depends on you, and you have to shoulder all the responsibility for the two of you on your shoulders. But this is not quite the right approach: after all, both partners in a couple are capable people who can care for themselves independently.

The essence of a relationship is not that one person is responsible for himself and a loved one. A relationship is a union, a partnership, and the desire to take care of each other should arise in two people. It’s great to ask your girlfriend for something and be sure she will help you.

In this case, you will understand that you will combine your efforts and cope with all the challenges in a difficult situation. If you can’t rely on a loved one, you won’t have confidence in the future; you won’t feel that both of you equally value your relationship.

2. Your desires and needs are ignored

Loneliness can arise not only because of the lack of physical interaction with a person. Some couples feel pretty comfortable living apart and meeting several times a week. Your emotional state depends not only on the amount of time you spend with your girlfriend. There are things much more important: for example, your ability to listen and hear, and if not share, then at least support the desires and needs of a loved one.

Logically, you expect your loved ones to be interested in how things are with you, what you live, what you dream about, and so on. Yes, your girlfriend does not have to satisfy your desires and needs; this task lies entirely in yourself.

But at the same time, she can support your zeal, provide you with all possible help, and not devalue what is essential to you. If you don’t get all this, you don’t feel the interest of a loved one in you and your condition. As a result, there is a feeling of loneliness.

3. You don’t support each other’s interests

In a couple, no one should give up their favorite activities to share their partner’s interests. But you can always pay a little attention to what a loved one is interested in. For example, ask a few questions about why he likes an activity, praise him for his achievements, or suggest trying to do something together.

Even a tiny show of interest in what a person considers essential makes him feel loved, appreciated, and supported. You begin to feel lonely if your interests are stubbornly ignored, ridiculed, or no attention is paid to your victories. And over time, loneliness only increases, and the girl’s behavior seems cold and distant to you.

4. You suffer from low self-esteem

How you evaluate yourself and feel about yourself dramatically affects your feelings in a relationship. If you have low self-esteem, you are most likely suffering from a lack of attention, from the desire to receive confirmation that you are loved constantly, you are jealous about, and without, you strive to spend all your free time with a girl.

Of course, if your partner has healthy self-esteem, this arrangement does not suit him. The girl is angry because of your distrust, hyper-control, and obsession, and you feel lonely.

In addition, you can evaluate every action of a loved one from the position of “likes” and “dislikes.” When you don’t get enough attention or face a girl’s coldness, you may fear that you will be abandoned. Her requests to give her a little more personal space can be too emotional for you. This further increases the feeling of loneliness.

5. You feel disconnected from the relationship

The reasons for detachment from a relationship can be very different. For example, you devote too much time and effort to work; therefore, you are rarely at home, and in those very moments when you do succeed, the only thing you want is to relax.

Maybe you’re going through some unpleasant news or a difficult situation, and instead of talking to the girl, you decide to close yourself in. Or maybe the reason for feeling disconnected from the relationship is not your behavior. Your girlfriend may also push you away in difficult moments of life or be too busy.

Anyway, you can’t leave everything as it is. In this case, the loneliness will only grow, and the relationship will deteriorate. This will eventually lead to a breakup. Remember: No matter what happens, you can always talk to each other and solve the problem. The sooner you do this, the more likely you are to save the relationship and make it stronger.