How to regain stability when your life feels unrecognizable

Sometimes a crisis occurs as a result of an event. This happens abruptly, and the effects are felt almost instantly. A person understands that yesterday everything was fine, but today the familiar world has been destroyed. There is a plus in this scenario, no illusions or misunderstandings. Time is not wasted; it does not take a period for awareness, unless, of course, you are engaged in self-deception. Other crises can come gradually, like water filling a hole. There’s a small hole there, and a barely noticeable leak here. There doesn’t seem to be anything catastrophic, but after a while, the situation becomes threatening. A little more and the ship will sink.

In everyday life, this can be described as a norm that has suddenly become something alien, completely undesirable. Work is losing its meaning, goals are no longer inspiring, and the environment is annoying. This condition can be frightening because it is not the outside world that is collapsing, but the inner support; moreover, it is not always possible to determine the source of the problem.

Transition to a new state

Gradually, all people change, and this is a normal part of life. The only exception is a small percentage of the population. The lucky ones who have found a real vocation, or, conversely, the unfortunate ones who have long since resigned themselves to an unenviable fate. Being lost doesn’t mean that everything is bad; it’s just that something is going wrong. Rather, it is a sign of internal restructuring, which various factors can cause. For example, if you have outgrown the company where you work, or your social circle, where there are no ears left for deep conversations.

Swiss psychiatrist and philosopher Carl Jung described such transformations as a process of personality individuation. A developing person gradually finds a new self, losing part of his former identity. There is a gap between the two forms of you, where the old form is no longer perceived, and the new one has not yet fully formed. Hence the feeling of emptiness.

Loss of identity

Discomfort is caused by the fact that, at some point, a person no longer understands who they really are. What he wants, what he dreams about, what he knows, and how he thinks. Quite recently, everything was very clear. You look in the mirror in the morning, and there’s a specialist or intern on the other side with a specific set of skills and responsibilities. This man was part of an understandable system with his own views and plans. Now the whole structure is gone, and the foundations of everyday life are crumbling.

That’s where your anxiety comes from. Perhaps it will make you feel a little better if you listen to the opinion of another philosopher. Jean-Paul Sartre argued that human identity is not set once and for all. Man is constantly creating, changing, and reassembling himself through an infinite number of choices. The process takes place both on a conscious and an unconscious plane. Simply put, we can only control a part of the changes.

The worst strategy

Trying to return to your old life is likely to worsen the crisis. This is a natural reaction that is almost guaranteed to fail. After all, the source of the problem is inside, and it lies precisely in the changes that have already taken place. Visit. A F R I N I K. C O M For the full article. You just don’t like things that used to give you joy or even meaning in life anymore.

Returning to the last checkpoint, you will feel disappointed — there is no peace and former comfort. The fact is that one part of you is rushing forward, while the other is still clinging to the past. You can go back, but only through self-deception and violence against your own psyche. Of course, such a strategy deprives a person of a chance for happiness and simple joys.

The necessary stage

Uncertainty is the most difficult thing in a crisis of this type. When there is no clear answer, it is easy to fall into apathy. What should I do next, who should I become now, and what goal should I choose? A lot of seemingly simple questions arise in my head, but no one gives me the slightest clue. Even the inner voice is treacherously quiet, as if waiting for everything to be resolved.

Perhaps this is not the worst tactic; maybe this is the main advice. We just need to survive the most acute phase of the crisis, without panic and haste. You will soon realize that anxiety is caused by the many possibilities that are now open. Actually, they were available before, but the attention was focused on something completely different – ordinary and normal. Now it’s time to forge new norms and ordinariness.

How to live in a crisis

First of all, you need to reduce the pressure on yourself. Don’t try to figure things out quickly. You don’t have to know right now what you want from a new life and an identity that hasn’t been fully formed yet. On the other hand, you may well still be in an unpleasant but far from fatal limbo. Don’t make drastic decisions — they are guaranteed to be rash and multiply frustration. The new version of you will become a loser against the background of your former stability.

Choose small actions, take small steps in different directions. This is the search for oneself, changed views, and future goals. Right now, you can like or be disgusted by anything. Explore potential interests without demanding quick results. Remember that the path has not even begun yet; there is a preparatory stage, where the most important task is to determine the coordinates and choose the direction.

Gradually come back into contact with reality. Usually, the way out of a crisis is not in intense thought, but in relatively simple actions. Move physically, especially if you have free time. We are talking about sports, outdoor trips, and evening walks. Everything will be done. During physical exertion, thoughts flow freely through your mind; sooner or later, something will touch your new identity, and you will definitely be interested. Get new experiences, hunt for future memories, and don’t give up on the small pleasures of life. Consider that your personality is on vacation now. Enjoy it, because it will end soon enough, and there will be a new routine, work, communication, and relationships.