You know the adage: “You don’t choose your family, you choose your friends”. Since you have chosen them, your friends are bound to be calm; they understand you, support you and are ready to do anything for you.
The “real” friendships boost our health (lower stress, increase in morale) because you have a great time with your brother, and they are always a great support to you when you go through a delicate phase such as a breakup or loss of a job.
But over time, some friendships don’t always turn out in the right direction. The pleasant feelings you have around a good friend can turn into a source of stress and unhappiness. Let me explain: Does your friend constantly belittle or judge you? Do you have more bad than good times in his presence?
Despite his undrinkable behaviour that you do not condone, you always end up passing the sponge because, after all, you are like brothers. But the way he acts affects you negatively, and the worst part is that your friend doesn’t seem to realize the harm he is inflicting on you. Never mind, you refuse to consider him a “toxic” friend.
Except that between you, he always decides everything without ever paying attention to your opinion. In addition, he is susceptible to the slightest of your remarks.
If you realize that one or more of your friendships is only going one way, the chances are high that those relationships are toxic to you.
Should you end a bad friendship (no matter how strong) or let it slowly destroy you?
It is high time to learn to distinguish the signs of a toxic friendship so that you can ask yourself the right questions and end these nightmarish relationships.
What is a toxic friendship?
The warning signs of a toxic friendship can be subtle, as the site explains. Be careful; falling out with a good friend does not mean that your friendship is toxic. If they aren’t recurring, arguing is a sign of dialogue and is proof that you’re looking to work things out. But if you’re feeling tired, used, and unfairly criticized by a friend, you need to ask yourself the right question.
We speak of toxic friendship when a friend pretends only to want your happiness. But that he belittles you, criticizes you and generally does more harm than good. Love makes you blind, as does friendship.
Here are the signs that should open your eyes:
1. Symptoms of a toxic friendship:
- Your friend decides everything, and you must go in his direction to make him happy. You don’t have a choice anyway.
- He is sensitive and overreacts for nothing. You fear to upset him every time you say something.
- He belittles you and judges you: “Your new shoes are too ugly”, “She’s a bit stupid, your new girlfriend”, “You want to get a promotion? But you will never make it! “
- After spending a moment with him, you feel empty.
- He’s always right and makes you feel guilty. It is never his fault but always yours.
- He is selfish, always needs you, but he runs away as soon as the situation reversed.
2. Little psychological test
When you tell him the good news about you, watch his reaction:
- Is he genuinely happy for you, and is he interested in what you tell him? Or does he quickly move on like someone who doesn’t care?
- Or worse, is your friend only rejoicing in your misfortune?
- Why do we have to end toxic friendships?
Like a breakup, yes, it can be scary to admit to a long-time friend that it’s over between you. But you have to think about yourself and your well-being. The problem with toxic friendships is that they aren’t going to do anything good for you but make you suffer. It is for this reason that we must put an end to them as soon as possible.
If you want to waste time, money and count on someone who doesn’t give a damn about your happiness, you are free to believe in this friendship! No, not all friendships made to last.
How to end a toxic friendship?
If some of your friendships aren’t thriving for you, it’s time to take stock. Is it just the fact that you don’t get along with the person in question anymore? Or do you have things to clarify with it?
Walking away by cutting bridges is not always a good solution. Your friend has the right to go through a crisis, a wrong time, or suffer a painful loss. If so, he may need to talk, cry, or take his mind off things to cope with the pain.
In any case, favour dialogue (even more if your friend is an integral part of your social circle). His reaction to your feelings will enlighten you on the procedure to follow: If he is willing to accept and make an effort, your friendship may be worth saving. In this case, be adamant about his behaviour in the future and the changes he has promised to make.
On the other hand, if he shines or tries to make you feel guilty: NEXT! End it with that fake friend to which you mean absolutely nothing. For your good, tell him it’s over between you. Clean up. If someone makes you lose your self-confidence, they don’t belong in your circle of friends.