How does a nice compliment vary from romantic flattery
A well-made compliment to a partner brings positive emotions, increases self-confidence, and helps to create a positive atmosphere. But romantic flattery works the opposite way: it can undermine a relationship and make your chosen one feel inferior. So, how do you recognize the fine line that runs between these things? Let’s figure out how a good compliment differs from romantic flattery.
4 ways on how a nice compliment vary from romantic flattery
1. Source and purpose
As a rule, we compliment our partner out of a sincere desire to praise and cheer up and express our appreciation, admiration, and respect. We have no hidden motivation or need to get something in return. It can be said that a good compliment is always born out of feelings. For example, you tell a partner the phrase “You are very sweet” because her act made her feel a surge of warmth, or “I like it when you smile” because you are always glad when she feels happy and want more such moments.
Romantic flattery has two sources: the need to get something in return or the desire to please. She is insincere, and it can be very noticeable. As a rule, there is always a reason for romantic flattery. For example, you can say nice words to a partner after you have quarreled, hoping she will forget and forgive everything. Or use bad compliments to seduce a woman you like faster without even realizing that you are crossing all reasonable limits. Romantic flattery always borders on a certain level of meanness, as it serves a selfish purpose and has nothing behind it except the need to satisfy one’s desires.
2. Concreteness
A good compliment is a compliment for what you value in a person. It can be backed up by concrete examples you can name without thinking about it. For example, you tell a partner the phrase “You’re beautiful,” and she asks why you think that. You reply, “I like your hair; you have a charming smile, cute freckles, and blue eyes that you can drown in.” Or you make a compliment: “You have a great sense of humor,” adding which jokes have won you over and which behavior of a partner can bring you to sincere laughter. These are good compliments that anyone will like and can be considered sincere.
Romantic flattery could be more specific, and its motives are different. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to distinguish it from a good compliment. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M .For the full article .For example, you can say, “You’re beautiful, just incredible,” but when a partner asks why you think that, you probably won’t be able to answer. And the whole point is that you made a compliment for the sake of a compliment, so it turned into unpleasant romantic flattery.
3. Moderation
They say that brevity is the sister of talent, and this rule can work regarding good compliments. To cheer up a partner or note the qualities you like in her, you will hardly have to conduct a monologue of several minutes. Good compliments are characterized by moderation, both in words and quantity. You will not bombard a girl with praise about and without — you will speak out at the most suitable moment.
Romantic flattery is characterized by excess, not moderation. She makes you feel embarrassed, blush, and awkward, and you also suspect that the words of the one who speaks her are insincere. They look like a mindless automatic burst fired under the motto: “Maybe it will hit.” For example, you say: “You are insanely beautiful, sexy, charming, and attractive, so much so that I can’t take my eyes off you every time I see you.” Admit it, such praise seems excessive and unnecessary, and also, after receiving it, it is easy to suspect that a person needs something from you. And believe me, girls notice it ideally.
4. Aftertaste
After a good compliment, the mood rises for the recipient and the one who said it out loud. It can help you feel confident, get motivated, smile, and believe the other person sees something good in you. Romantic flattery has a different aftertaste. Since it is insincere and necessary to get what you want from the “victim,” the person who utters it will only receive a feeling of joy when he gets his way. He will likely be upset, disappointed, or angry if his questionable compliments do not help achieve a selfish goal.
Romantic flattery has an unpleasant aftertaste for the girl who heard it. It makes you feel awkward or even upset. This happens when a lousy compliment is based on a comparison or an attempt to elevate a person at the expense of others. For example, if you tell a girl the phrase, “You did a great job with the project; I’m sure your narrow-minded colleagues couldn’t do it,” you’re unlikely to make her happy and feel better. What can we say about the praise, which sounds like this: “You look much better than your friends.” Instead of giving the girl joy, such “praise” brings only disappointment and a feeling that your intentions are not so pure.
Finally, you need to pay compliments only when you sincerely want to bring joy to another person. Romantic flattery may work, but it is a sneaky and manipulative way to get what you need from a girl. So, if you want to create a strong and healthy relationship and feel good, you should not resort to it.