How to handle adult shyness

Shyness is a mental state characterized by indecision, tension, and stiffness. A feeling of awkwardness or self-doubt arises in a person due to negative experiences or a lack of social skills. This is quite typical for a child, so shyness is considered childish. Nevertheless, many adults can also be shy in different circumstances. Let’s figure out why this happens and how to deal with it.

What is adult shyness?

Everything is clear with a child: he is often shy due to a lack of experience; that is, he does not know how to behave correctly in a particular situation. Adult shyness is somewhat more complicated and is primarily associated with the fear of judgment. Anxiety is caused by the realization that a person is already an adult, so others expect him to behave correctly, depending on the nature of social relations.

However, even after experiencing several identical events, you can remain without unambiguous feedback. Without an explicit assessment, an adult still does not understand how appropriate and correct his actions were.

In addition, shyness is often confused with other character traits. For example, introverts may seem shy, but this is not true. They have other reasons for staying away during mass events. Unlike an introvert, a shy person wants to be in public but faces the problem of self-fulfillment. Also, adult shyness may be deep in the mind and not result from poor social skills.

How to overcome adult shyness

Shyness affects behavior. It prevents the establishment of new social contacts, career advancement, and the creation of personal relationships. It can be said that shyness makes life incomplete, but this is not the final stop, not a dead end. There are methods to overcome shyness.

Six methods on how to overcome shyness.

1. Small changes

All significant changes consist of small steps. You can start with something inconsequential. For example, develop the habit of greeting your neighbors first. Talk to a taxi driver or another random person while waiting for something together. A light conversation can be interrupted at any time, on business or simply by referring to the need to call.

To avoid waiting indefinitely for the right moment or the proper stranger, set yourself a specific goal, such as starting a conversation with an unknown or unfamiliar person once a day. Choose the level of intensity and difficulty yourself. It’s one thing to be a random passerby, quite another to be a work colleague with whom you usually don’t communicate.

2. Be active when you listen

Depending on the interlocutors’ level of engagement, the conversation can proceed in different ways. Being active does not mean interrupting; there are many other ways.

Pay attention to how journalists who are interviewing behave. If the answer is delayed, they periodically nod their heads slightly. This is not a sign of agreement but a signal of presence. Such activity allows you to reduce social distance and liberates you somewhat.

3. Find a close social group

It’s not about finding the same shy people but interest groups. A person in a favorable environment always behaves more openly, shows some kind of initiative, shares his experience, or asks questions of interest.

The disadvantage of this strategy is that for its implementation, one must have a personal and real interest or passion. On the other hand, it can be anything from sports to anime gatherings.

4. Prepare for contact

Throw in a list of relevant topics you can support and initiate yourself in advance. You don’t need a strict script; evaluate who you will contact and try to guess what is convenient to talk about. The fear of not meeting expectations causes shyness.

This discrepancy, as well as fear, can be eliminated at least partially before the meeting. Visualize the upcoming social interaction. It will almost certainly not go as you imagined, but this technique lets you calm down and gain confidence. Think about how you will have an exciting conversation, demonstrate awareness, and leave a good impression of yourself.

5. Celebrate your successes

Transformations of this nature are hard work. You don’t do anything physically, but you feel exhausted and completely exhausted. That’s how it will be in the beginning.

Therefore, remind yourself of the results you have achieved. As you become more and more self-confident, turn around and look closely at the shy person left behind. You have improved and partially achieved the desired result, meaning all efforts are not in vain.

6. Discard negative thoughts

Despite all your shyness, there must have been a positive experience of casual communication in your life. Remember the specific examples and feelings that you felt after that. Why not repeat it? What makes you think that everything will be wrong this time? Think that you will spend your time usefully or just having fun.

In addition, you can leave the event at almost any time. Try to accept in advance that you will experience some discomfort, but it will pass. Of course, if you can resist your shyness. It would not be superfluous to receive feedback, if possible. To do this, you need a particular person, a relative, or a close friend with whom you can speak very frankly. Let him give you an assessment of your success; perhaps he will also help you with advice.

The benefits of the lack of shyness

After discussing the possible methods of overcoming shyness, it is worth considering the prizes life provides. First, there are personal relationships, which can be built much easier. This includes relationships with the opposite sex and desirable acquaintances, that is, establishing friendly or partnership relations with the right people.

By reducing the level of anxiety from social relationships, a person becomes more natural. Simply put, life becomes more comfortable and enjoyable. Your participation in an event is determined not by fears but by personal desire. Having felt such freedom of will, you will notice how self-esteem increases. The people around you will note all the transformations.

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