Old rules of etiquette when talking about politics are relevant even now

It can be difficult to keep from talking about politics in the family circle or the company of friends. However, leading them is like walking on a knife’s edge. Very often, this topic provokes a lot of conflicts and disputes. But still, if someone picked it up, you shouldn’t stay silent or say you don’t know anything about it. It is better to learn about the rules of etiquette from the past, which will help to conduct conversations about politics in the present so as not to lose face and provoke a scandal.

8 old rules of etiquette when talking about politics, relevant even now

1. Before you say anything, figure it out

In Daisy Albright’s book, A Guide to Etiquette with Tips on Politeness and Good Breeding, published in 1873, you can find an important note on how to converse about politics. It says that anyone who wants to engage in such a dialogue should know the current news well and be familiar with the literature of different eras and historical events of all countries. The more precise you are about dates and incidents, the easier it is to remain open-minded during the conversation. And this is good advice: it’s better to understand the topic before opening your mouth so as not to say something stupid and cause an adverse reaction from your interlocutors.

2. Tame your assertiveness

Everyone has their own political beliefs. But if you want to be a good conversationalist, you shouldn’t defend them with foam at the mouth. Here is what is said in the book “A Gentleman’s Guide to Etiquette,” published by Cecil Hartley in 1875: “Keep your stable political opinion if you want, but do not flaunt it at every opportunity and, above all, do not try to force others to agree with you. Calmly listen to their ideas and politely say you cannot support them. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M .For the full article. And even if your opponent may make you look like a bad politician, he will be forced to admit that you are a gentleman.”

3. Don’t try to be a know-it-all

Indeed, you have at least once met a man who tried to show that he understands politics like a professional. He knows what and why and defends his opinion with foam at the mouth, making communicating with him uncomfortable. Florence Hartley, who published The Ladies’ Book of Etiquette and Courtesy Guides in 1860, provides universal valuable advice to both women and men. It goes like this: “Don’t try to show that you are the best at understanding the issue. If your interlocutor is better informed about the subject of the discussion, or it’s a matter of taste or feeling, don’t expect the whole world to agree with you.”

4. Don’t monopolize the conversation

We can unwittingly make this mistake by discussing anything, including politics. Monopolizing a conversation is a direct route to misunderstanding, as well as an easy way to appear self—obsessed. In his book, A Handbook of Etiquette and a Guide to Real Politeness, published in 1866, Arthur Martin notes: “A person is sure to show his good or bad upbringing the moment he opens his mouth to talk in the company. The land is common to all, and no one has the right to monopolize any part of it for their opinion in politics or religion. Everyone was invited to have a pleasant conversation, and no one should force others to listen to him alone.”

5. Know when to change the subject

Conversations about politics often reach a dead end or become a heated argument. You must know when to change the subject to avoid unwittingly participating in the conflict. In 1866, Arthur Martin mentioned this in “A Handbook of Etiquette and a Guide to Real Politeness.”

He noted that whenever your interlocutor starts talking nonsense, you need to leave the topic raised, as he will either begin to defend his opinion, show vanity, or try to defend his views. All these outcomes will inevitably lead to a clash of interests. Therefore, you should not blame someone’s behavior, defend your opinion, or start preaching—it is better to switch your attention to discussing something superficial or more pleasant.

6. Keep calm

Cecil Hartley, in the Guide to Etiquette for Real Gentlemen, which we have already mentioned in the second paragraph of this article, wrote: “Even if you are convinced that your opponent is completely wrong, give in gracefully. Refuse to discuss it further, or deftly turn the conversation around instead of being stubborn until you get angry. The vehemence of the arguments is only a reflection of the inability to control one’s temper.”

7. Try not to criticize politicians if you are among them

In his book A Guide to Etiquette and a Guide to Real Politeness, Arthur Martin noted that it is indecent to ridicule lawyers or politicians in the company of people who have chosen this path. He recommended avoiding all kinds of discussions, including condemnations of bribery and corruption, because the people gathered would have good reason to believe you were referring to them. And really, why spoil relations with others?

8. Whatever you do, don’t take sides

An argument can flare up not only between two interlocutors — people defend their opinions by dividing into several groups. In this case, the best thing you can do is not to take sides, especially if you are sure that you will not be able to reconcile them or notice that the speakers have lost their temper. This advice was known back in 1875 thanks to Cecil Hartley and will never lose its relevance.