Some people tend to underestimate emotional addiction, but it can really be dangerous and even destroy lives. Of course, we are all interdependent.
That said, there is a distinction between needing a connection with others and relying on the presence, feelings, or actions of a specific person to be good with yourself. If you are in this situation, discover in this article some tips based on psychologists’ recommendations to get out of it.
1. Keep in mind that you are your “own priority”
If you are emotionally dependent on someone, it is common to compromise your own needs and wishes to satisfy the other person because you are afraid of losing them. For example, you may be fearful that if you speak, she will get angry and leave you, then you will shut up. The problem is, it leaves you feeling resentful, and it damages your self-esteem.
You may lose some of your identity and needs, which will lead you to have an unhealthy relationship with yourself. It is essential to be able first to identify your needs and then advocate for them. As soon as you start doing this, you will begin to recognize that your needs are essential and deserve to meet, and you can start to regain your confidence and self-respect.
2. Become aware of addiction and explore its origin
The maxim “if you can mention it, you can subdue it” applies here. First, accept that you are emotionally dependent on this person. Then observe the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors you adopt to support it. And there, you can start working to understand its root causes.
3. Open up to others
A standard behavior associated with emotional dependence is spending most of your time with someone while letting your other relationships and interests fall apart. The problem is, you end up depending on one person to meet all of your needs, which is an impossible task.
It’s essential to have multiple people in your life that you can turn to for support, fun, and entertainment rather than depending on one person. It’s also essential to explore and pursue personal interests outside of the relationship so that when that person leaves, you don’t feel like you’ve dispossessed.
4. Work on accepting your vulnerability
It is common to push away vulnerable emotions such as pain, suffering, sadness, and disappointment. Suppressing these feelings can help in the short term, but they almost always come back, and often in the form of even more intense emotions. Accepting that painful feelings exist allows you to connect, understand yourself, and heal.
5. Be patient with yourselves
Getting rid of your demons is hard work. It takes a lot of honesty and tenacity to get by. So no, it is not after two weeks that you will see satisfactory results. But by dint of perseverance, you will get there. And if you feel lost, don’t delay to get help.
6. Practice and tolerate loneliness
Tolerating being alone will be uncomfortable at first, especially if you are used to reaching out to others when you feel alone. That said, the more you practice not giving in to the urge to reach out, the easier it will be for you to do so. Being able to be alone is essential because you can’t count on someone always to be there. Plus, it gives you room to reflect on yourself and rebuild your relationship with yourself.
7. Clean up your life
To facilitate introspection and better reconnect with your being, do not hesitate to bring out all the people and things that you deem toxic in your life. For that, you can list all the little things going on that are bothering you and see how you can eliminate them. Once done, gauge your mind to know if you have become calmer.