“Sorry, it will not work tonight!” Stop being the person who always cancels

We have completely accepted the JOMO lifestyle, also known as the joy of missing out (the likes of missing something). Our Instagram pages run from funny memes about people who prefer an evening in the seat with a blanket to a night out. Cancel an appointment? We do not see any bones in that, but we do not do it any better.

The JOMO era is contradictory to the FOMO trend that once indicated that every evening had a busy program, the way of life. FOMO, Fear of missing out (fear to miss something) is the great counterpart of JOMO that indicated that missing something was not okay at all. But it has often been shown that fear of missing something is anything but healthy and causes us to feel more lonely.

The only drawback to JOMO? It will be a problem if we always cancel plans again. It causes our relationships to suffer. With these tips you make sure that you continue with your plans the next time.

Understand that you naturally want to say yes if you actually mean no
First and foremost: it is normal that you sometimes do not feel like having plans that have been on your agenda for a while. Experts point out that we often say yes because we do not like to disappoint people and feel pressure at the moment.

“It is a natural and human feeling that we want to be part of something. We are always looking for company,” explains Alison Stone, psychotherapist. “The problem is that we often do things because we feel obligated, not because we want to and then we do not feel happy or we hardly get satisfaction.”

Be aware of the choice you are going to make and know that it is okay to say no. Saying that you have to think about before making appointments can help you not to cancel later.

Go on your feeling
Do not say yes to things if you do not want to do them. We know what we like to do and what does not, so it is important that you respond to those feelings.

An advantage of the technological age is that you now have more time to think. If someone sends you an SMS or e-mail asking you if you want to do something, take some time to think if you really feel like it.

Ask yourself why you want to cancel
It is important that we think about the intention and motivation why we cancel. Is it because the activity is not for you? Or does it have to do with the people you have agreed with? Keep in mind that cancelling often entails more consequences than you sometimes expect. If you find it difficult to say no to someone, remember that you hurt the person more afterwards if you cancel.

If there is no other way, say it in the right way
Sometimes you do not have much more choice than to disappoint someone and cancel an appointment. But it is good that you learn how to do that in a way that does not harm your relationships. Cancelling last minute is usually not good for anyone. Suggest to move to another moment and say that you are sorry.

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