Situations may have arisen in the past that have caused you to lose a little bit of faith in certain people. This can be very tricky if you want to start dating. You want to trust them, but you just can’t. Here are some tips to make it a little easier for you.
Create a new perspective
This is the most rational answer we can give you. Leave the past behind and focus on the future; this is easier said than done. While your past will always influence you and haunt you in some way, remember that every person is different. Just because you’ve dated someone who can’t be trusted doesn’t mean that everyone you date can’t be trusted.
See each person as their individual
It is not necessary to put everyone together, and that way, you do not give the person in question a fair chance. By immediately having a prejudice, you will never really see the person for what they are. Therefore, make sure that you see a person for who he or she is, without being prejudiced—that way, you give them a fair chance.
Trust the people you actually trust
This also makes dating a lot of fun. Sometimes you can go on a date with someone that you have a little doubt about. Instead of getting into a knot with yourself and thinking a lot about this. Are you talking to your best friend? He or she probably also knows where your trust issues come from. Therefore, this person can tell you whether you have doubts because of your trust problems or whether your doubts apply.
Take small steps
You don’t have to take mega steps forward. You don’t have to trust someone directly from day one; it’s almost impossible. So take your time for this. It also depends on how you view trust because some people trust someone until that trust is broken. With others, they don’t trust anyone until certain people earn your trust. You can slowly open up to someone new. You can share small things with this person and see how it makes you feel before becoming more vulnerable. Your confidence will grow.
Share your trust issues
Sharing your trust issues with the person you’re dating already creates a bond of sorts and a different perspective. They will approach it differently and know that you have more trouble with certain things and don’t bother about it either. If there’s someone who won’t accept you are carrying this baggage with you, it’s never going to work. You also don’t have to give them details of where these problems come from; just saying you have them is enough.
You don’t have to go fast; small steps are enough. Even though dating seems like a lot of fun and you’re glad you’re dating again, that doesn’t mean that your trust issues are suddenly gone. They will fade for a moment, or you will think they are gone, but the moment something very small happens, they are back. Try to accept it and don’t jump too far ahead.
Let them lead the way
This will let you know whether you are ready to trust someone new or need a little more time. Let your partner take control and let them make plans. Let them take you somewhere, something you don’t know.
Go from small steps to bigger steps. For example, let your date go out without you, without letting you know until they get home. If you can handle that, you’ll know if you’re really ready to trust someone and if you’re ready for more.