To have a healthy relationship goes hand in hand with each other, trust and support. There is almost nothing as frustrating as having a partner who does not take it for you.
According to expect.. “If your partner does not take it for you, problems will automatically pop up in your relationship”, says relationship expert April Masini. “You have to be able to count on each other in a relationship. If your partner does not take it for you – whether in public or private – then it becomes more difficult to trust each other. Does the trust disappear? Then chances are that it will be replaced by anger and frustration. In a real and good relationship, you defend each other.”
That would be great if everyone always matched perfectly, but the reality is different. Whether it is the mother of your dearest who disagrees or is the best friend. It is crucial that your partner lets you know that he chooses your side.
The negative effects
It often takes a while before we are strong enough in our shoes to take on our family or friends. Yet it is a very good skill to have. If one of the two partners feel inferior and misunderstood, it often leads to the idea that there is more wrong.
“If someone always fails to take it for you, then it makes sense that you doubt how committed they are to you, soon followed by frustrations,” explains Amica Graber, relationship expert. “If someone cannot protect you during conflict, they probably will not do so in the future. Ask yourself if such a situation is worth it for you.”
“Creating trust is the way to provide emotional, physical and intellectual support”, says Hanalei Vierra, therapist. “If this type of support is lacking in a relationship, then trust will drop and someone will soon feel lonely.”
How do you tell your partner that you do not get enough support?
Although every situation is different, and the support must be adjusted accordingly. The most important thing is that you feel that your partner understands you and wants to come for you. According to Vierra, the best way to learn is to argue, by making your voice heard. And speaking to your partner about his or her feelings. “Let them know that you understand them, and afterwards tell them you do not share the same opinion, that should be the case.”
In short: understanding, being empathetic and showing that you are supporting someone is all that is needed to show that your relationship is right. Do you feel that you are misunderstood? Talk to your partner about this. Tell how you feel when he or she does not choose your side.