When approval feels like proof: How others influence our decisions

Each of us wants to feel that he is doing everything right. And probably one of the easiest ways to gain confidence in your actions is to listen to the opinions of others. The logic is simple: if many people consider a particular decision to be reasonable or beneficial, then it is automatically the right one. Well, or at least a safe one, because hardly anyone will blame you for it, and you won’t have to justify yourself if anything happens.

It turns out that for the sake of an imaginary sense of comfort, you risk putting your own views, goals, values, and interests on the back burner. And the saddest thing is that in some cases you may not even realize how susceptible you really are to societal pressure. It is not always expressed directly; more often it is disguised as common sense, traditions, successful examples of acquaintances, the desire to be no worse than others, and not to stand out. In this article, we look at several types of decisions that may seem right to you just because others think so.

6 ways social approval can make the wrong choice feel right

1. To enter into a relationship for the sake of meeting expectations

People almost always have their own version of why you urgently need to start a relationship, even if you don’t really know the partner yet. You will definitely be told that everyone around you has already got partners or started a family, that time is running out, and that you should not wait for someone special; choose if there is just a good person nearby. Even if these beliefs are expressed in the form of harmless, at first glance, mentions or friendly advice that should not oblige you to anything, at some point you may go against your feelings and make a hasty decision. And it is quite possible that this will not only not make you happier, but will also have negative consequences.

2. Choosing a prestigious profession instead of an interesting one

Often, the choice of a future profession or even a place of work is influenced by the opinion of family, friends, and society as a whole. It’s just that some specialties are considered prestigious, while others are not serious. And when a person tries to decide where to go to study, he gets a lot of hints that actually lead him astray. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article. People advise you to learn a profession that can potentially bring you more stable and higher earnings, thanks to which you will receive more respect or have a prestigious position. But in reality, it turns out that if you really want to realize yourself and maintain at least a minimal interest in what you do, you need to build on your abilities and hobbies.

3. Shopping for status

You can be sure that you always shop exclusively on your own and for yourself. But try to remember: how often, before you finally decide on a choice, you carefully study the characteristics of a thing, evaluate how much you like it, think about convenience, and so on. The truth is that a huge part of purchases are made for the sake of one simple goal: to inform others of this or that information about yourself, in other words, to show your status. If your purchase decision is influenced by the understanding that an item will impress other people, you are already trapped. Because the status they’re chasing requires constant confirmation. What was prestigious yesterday is rapidly losing relevance, and a new unattainable goal appears, for which they often take out loans or save on what is really necessary and important.

4. Staying in an unloved job for the sake of stability

Many people have probably heard advice like “you can be patient” or “but it’s stable” from their relatives and friends. Even if you describe in vivid detail how you don’t like your job and give good arguments why you should try to change it. For most people, the most important thing is to receive regular wages and feel some kind of confidence, at least in the near future. Therefore, openly unloved or hated work may be perceived by them as the right choice.

No one disputes that stability is great, especially when it comes to finance. But you must admit, this factor should not be the only criterion for making decisions. And the labor market has been undergoing significant changes in recent years, which also change the usual rules of the game. It may turn out that switching to a less well-paid, but more promising job is a much more sensible idea than deciding to stick to your old place, no matter what.

5. Buy your own home at any price

Owning a home is the dream of the vast majority of people. Many people set a goal to buy an apartment or a house as soon as possible. In itself, this aspiration cannot be called something bad; it is a guideline that gives you motivation and helps you grow and develop. But on one condition: if you don’t go to extremes. Others often judge a person’s financial maturity by the presence or absence of their own housing. Therefore, it seems that by the age of 30 you should definitely have real estate. Such attitudes may push you to buy an apartment as early as possible, even if to achieve this goal you have to go into debt, take on loan obligations that you cannot afford, give up other, more important or urgent needs and desires, sacrifice your health, and so on.

6. Live according to a ready-made scenario instead of your own

Many people’s lives follow the same pattern. They go to university, find stable jobs, take out an apartment with a mortgage, start a family, have children, and retire. Moreover, any deviation from this plan raises many questions: for example, why a person decided to change his profession after forty years, or why he spends money on travel while living in a rented apartment. The above scenario cannot be called something wrong: it actually suits many people. But it is still important not to live according to a ready-made template, but to make decisions based on your own desires and needs. Otherwise, there is a high risk that even after perfectly fulfilling all the points of someone else’s plan, you will feel out of place.

Exit mobile version