Why do we feel guilty if we relax

Lack of rest leads to burnout, sadness, and physical fatigue. But for some of us, the prospect of doing nothing makes us feel guilty. It may seem to us that at this time, we could do something useful or that relaxation is equivalent to laziness. We understand why many people feel guilty for relaxing.

1. We were brought up that way

There is an unspoken rule that the best rest is a change of activity in many families. And instead of spending time the way you want or relaxing physically, we had to do other things. For example, you are washing the dishes after you’ve done your homework or doing your homework right after helping around the house.

Many people face condemnation from their parents for inaction. They are predicted to have an unsatisfactory career if they don’t stop being lazy or doing nothing. Or they say that children’s hobbies are not as important as the household chores they have to do.

This lays fears and anxiety and a sense of guilt for the rest. The latter can accompany people, gradually turning into toxic shame throughout their lives.

Unfortunately, this parenting method does more harm than good. It is ineffective, even if we are forced to change mental activity for physical activity and vice versa. When solving simple tasks or performing simple actions, we use forces and energy that need to be restored. And for that, we need to relax. This upbringing makes us feel guilty when we allow ourselves to disconnect from tasks and just spend time in silence, doing nothing.

2. We feel like we don’t deserve a break

When we think we haven’t done enough to allow ourselves to rest, guilt is not long in coming, even if we are very tired psychologically or experience overwhelming physical fatigue.

We may think that we are basically not good enough to do things that are pleasant to us and not just useful. Therefore, we force ourselves to do more and become restless, which leads to emotional burnout and stress.

It is important to understand that rest is a part of productivity as work. Agree, it is difficult to concentrate on something and do the job well if tired. And if you give yourself time for a break, then you can stock up on strength and energy to solve problems.

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3. We feel like we don’t have enough time

There are days when every minute counts. And if we allow ourselves to relax a little or lie down for half an hour to restore strength, the guilt is right there. We tell ourselves that we already have so many unresolved issues, and we blame ourselves for taking time off.

This may be due to our inability to plan time. Or with the fact that we forget to include relaxation in the schedule and refuse it.

Make it a habit to write down in your diary the time you will devote to yourself and the way to relax. The more often you include rest in your schedule, the easier it will be to plan the rest of the tasks. You can set aside special time to browse social networks or read interesting articles. And also, at least once a month, plan a day off completely reserved for your favorite activities and relaxation.

4. We worry about what other people will say

Efficiency, productivity, and success are three concepts that have become defining in life for many people. It is scary and embarrassing for them to be told that they are not doing enough. They do not allow themselves to rest because they are afraid of getting the disapproval of others. Especially if relaxation is considered laziness and an unaffordable luxury in their company or family.

Relaxation causes them feelings of guilt and real stress. People who crave recognition or fear disapproval reproach themselves for allowing themselves to relax or engage in activities that are far from successful or efficient.

They can’t just do what they want and what will bring them relief from their daily stresses. Especially if these activities are not popular or are not approved by people, you know. They are more likely to choose to favor what is fashionable or bring them praise from others.

Unfortunately, there is no question of relaxation here. Such activities create additional discomfort and stress. In addition, to the feeling of guilt for the relaxation, remorse for the fact that they depend on the opinions of others can be added. Or that they can’t do what they really want.