We discuss a type of conduct that is characteristic of manipulators, as well as sore points that he will push. Have you encountered a manipulator in the meantime? If not, these are some of the most common methods they pull off their ruses.
What are the strategies used by a manipulator? He yells out loud, despite the fact that he has only softly touched his head. Even if you haven’t done anything wrong, you feel guilty. You tremble as you recall how nicely it all began, and you honestly don’t understand why you’re wearing a dress you don’t like and have no friends left. How do you spot a manipulative guy and neutralize him?
Before going to bed, you lay in bed and aimlessly peruse Instagram. “Put your phone away, honey. It’s not a good idea to check Instagram before going to bed. I say for your own good.” We so frequently become embroiled in this classic multi-step manipulator game.
Manipulation by males might be disguised as loving, attractive courting, or swift reconciliation. The purpose, though, is always the same. Manipulation is a kind of influence that uses or shapes the interlocutor’s latent desires to force him to make the desired decision against his will. That is, the manipulator first builds or locates your pain centers, such as shame and guilt, before expertly pressing on them.
The causes for this conduct are almost hard to describe, ranging from childhood trauma to an unwillingness to communicate honestly about your thoughts and experiences. But it all comes down to one thing: male manipulators have learned through experience that this is the greatest method to acquire what they want.
According to new research by the American Psychotherapy Association, men are more prone than women to engage in emotional manipulation. Experienced and accomplished manipulators are so skilled at what they do that they almost always obtain what they want. There’s only one problem: this isn’t always what you desire.
Do you have feelings for me?
It’s tough, but not impossible, to spot a manipulative guy. Such guys care about you wonderfully, speak about your emotions a lot and for a long time, and establish an attachment in which you rapidly feel like a part of something greater.
This action often disarms the lady and eliminates all barriers to her safety. Problems arise when a man-manipulator uses this very affection and feelings to accomplish his purpose. Consider the following example: And girls frequently make such sacrifices at first, when ladies are in love and strive to be the perfect spouse for their lover. They’re attempting to demonstrate that they really care about and cherish one other. However, if ladies accept the manipulation at least once, they establish a pattern in which a guy will demand evidence of your love on a regular basis.
You gradually become estranged from your friends and family
“I don’t like your pals,” “Why do you call your mother so frequently, you’re not little,” or, as an example from personal experience, “Why do you call your mother so much, you’re not small.” “Well, if I’m unhappy and anxious at home, why do you need to go away for the weekend?” It also works!
It is considered a deadly sin to spend time without him. If, despite persuasion, coercion, and a gloomy feeling of guilt, you still decide to go out and speak with your friends and family, you arrive to find him in a foul mood and spend the evening listening to his passive-aggressive remarks.
You could be pleased by his desire to have your undivided attention at first. However, it’s important to remember that a man-primary manipulator’s duty, maybe even unconscious, is to construct a control system, and he doesn’t need any more participants to accomplish so.
Male manipulators compare you to their ex-girlfriend, their mother, and ideal acquaintances. Furthermore, this is often done from afar, such as when he recalls tales from the past or complains about someone who has profoundly harmed him.
“My ex just wanted money and presents from me,” a remark that will make you want to be better than his ex and make you reconsider asking for anything.
A manipulator will always provide an example of conduct for you to follow. If you try to keep up with his leaving comments, you’ll discover that they’re endless and alter with his mood. Nothing you accomplish is ever good enough, and you could always do better.
You have your own set of rules
You must forgive him for cheating because it’s your fault, and you haven’t given it enough attention. He went out with pals on Friday, but you must realize that he is exhausted and needs to relax. Of course, going out to supper with your pals or smiling at the waiter is out of the question.
The idea is simple: you must constantly demonstrate your allegiance, happiness, and approbation to a manipulative guy. Furthermore, he starts to yell, gather stuff, and threaten to cut up relationships at the smallest departure from the norms he established.
Your life becomes a roller coaster of emotions
Manipulators love to use uncertainty as a tool. He doesn’t respond with a yes or no. If you ask him a straight question, he will either avoid replying or remain mute.
Altering tenderness and coldness is a common approach to elicit an emotional response. As a consequence, you’ll feel bad and want to make a compromise, just for it to all melt away again. When she’s with such a guy, she starts to feel like she’s on an emotional roller coaster, with bursts of delight being replaced by remorse and pity depending on the partner’s behavior.
What should I do?
In discussion with a manipulator, it’s critical to maintain your attention on the grownup side of the person you’re speaking with:
- Take a breather and avoid the first sentence: “Why are you telling me this?” “Do you want me to be remorseful?”
- Try to set some limits for yourself: “I don’t want to do something out of a feeling of obligation…”
- Provide a favorable take on the script: “You’re concerned about me. Thank you a lot!”
It might be tough to confess to yourself that your spouse is manipulative when you’re in a relationship like this. If you sense him putting pressure on you, attempt to figure out what he’s trying to accomplish. If you’re experiencing guilt or pity as a source of stress, visit an expert for help.