You can become boring in the eyes of a girl both on the first date and in the third year of your relationship. And when you notice that the lady is not satisfied with the communication and spending time together, you begin to delve into yourself. You dig deep, but you find little.
Some people think: “There were flowers, movies too, stories about work seemed interesting to hear – what’s wrong?” Many things can be wrong. For example, you didn’t entertain her with cooking tricks. But there are many reasons, and we will tell you about the most common ones.
You don’t love yourself
If you underestimate yourself, consider yourself a failure – where did you get the idea that someone would perceive you differently? It would help if you radiated confidence. Do not go to extremes – narcissism is also not good. But to be moderately firm and decisive is a must. A guy who is full of doubts can’t be fun.
You are withdrawn and passive
It is important to listen to the girl. But it shouldn’t look like that, sitting at a table in a restaurant, a girl leads a monologue, and all you do is nod and smile. Keeping the conversation going is the key to useful knowledge of her and understanding of common interests.
About passivity. You met, for example, on the street. Autumn, cool – walking is not a date option. You don’t have to wait for offers from a girl to go somewhere – you already have everything thought out and prepared. Make a plan of action in your mind.
If you have a problem with decisiveness, write down everything to such trifles as helping her take off her coat, making her sit at the table, or suggesting something tasty from the menu. If you wait for some signals to understand what needs to be done, she will decide everything for you (or not decide), and she is unlikely to like it. There probably won’t be a second date.
You are too involved in other relationships
Friendly, kindred, professional. This is more about a long-term relationship and not about the first meeting. Being involved in other relationships takes a lot of energy from you, and there is no energy left for a relationship in a couple; enthusiasm disappears. This is a protracted leap that backfires. If you are reliable and you can always help everyone – well done, but you need to be able to say “no” and think about yourself and her.
You made her expectations too high
We met by correspondence, for example. And, sitting at home, in your comfortable armchair, where you are the king and nothing prevents you from being cool, you write to her whole canvases about yourself and everything in a row.
In general, he painted everything in such a way that she began to tremble from the expectation of a meeting. Only you forgot to clarify that you can only communicate in this way on the Internet. She will come on a date and understand that the one she corresponded with and the one she sees are two different people.
In general, you shouldn’t be stupid and create an online tough-guy image. Be yourself everywhere. Otherwise, you cannot avoid the fact that she will begin to compare your real image with the virtual and conclude that in words, you are Leo Tolstoy, but in deeds… You know the continuation.
You often complain
For life, for people, and in general. Nobody likes whiners. Even the parents of whiners, who are supposed to comfort their children, saying “everything will work out,” think to themselves: “Why can’t you gather your strength, my God!”
The world is imperfect, like the people in it. If you find it difficult to accept some things and you do not have patience, willpower – keep a diary in which you can cry, taking a pen or pencil. But you definitely shouldn’t do it in your friend’s blouse.
You are too restrained
Smoothing corners is good. But being overly self-controlled and avoiding fights is a recipe for boring relationships. Sometimes a shake-up is necessary.
Don’t make yourself a time bomb. No matter how patient you are, you will not always be able to stay that way, and sooner or later, there will be an emotional outburst, the wave of which will cover even those who do not deserve it. And sometimes s*x is more interesting, thanks to fights.
Nothing unites you
This applies to your interests and not only. Your love does not unite you for a certain genre of music or cinema; views differ. You prefer the classics – she loves hardcore techno. But these are trifles compared to the outlook on life and the perception of it in general.
For example, you are a careerist, and she is a romantic person – family values are important to her. Your stories about how you achieved everything yourself (or not), about accounting and employees who do not do their job in good faith, tire her. But to tell her about how you imagine that you are running home from work at breakneck speed, and your beloved is waiting for you, and this is the most important thing for you – what you need.
However, this is an option if you think about this and do not begin to chat in vain. If you want a girl interested in your work, and this is extremely important for you, you are not on the way. Well, either reassess your values, reflect on your behavior and prioritize correctly. It’s good to have your own home, but it’s even better when people wait for you. And as we said in the second paragraph – to find things that will unite you, you need to speak and be able to listen.