To be heard is what each of us wants because it means that we are respected, appreciated, and considered a good conversationalists. If you cannot build effective communication with someone, you need to look for the problem not in others but in yourself. We have collected several reasons why no one takes your opinion and advice seriously.
You sound insecure
Would you believe a person who says or advises you something, constantly stumbling, nervous, confused in words and expressions, waiting for your approval and agreement with him? Most likely not, even if he does say the right things. A person’s uncertainty can discredit him in the interlocutor’s eyes, making him doubt everything he expresses. And it will be very difficult to get rid of mistrust in your address because a certain picture in the head of those around you has already formed.
To be listened to and listened to, you need to impeccably believe in what you are trying to convey to others. Some people win not due to their eloquence, accumulated experience, or deep knowledge in any topic, but only because of the ability to keep calm and confident even in moments when they say outright nonsense.
You do not argue your point
Only a fool will believe the interlocutor’s words if they are not reasoned in any way. Therefore, you should always accompany your position with facts, statistics, illustrative examples from your life or the life of people you know. This will make the person understand what you are talking about. In addition, it will make your speech more convincing and you more confident in your words.
After listening to the evidence you give, the interlocutor will understand that you want to share your knowledge and experience with him to look at the problem you are considering from a different angle.
You do not do what you advise others
You should not advise a person to change a hated job and find something more highly paid and interesting if you constantly complain about the salary, boss, colleagues and at the same time do nothing. It will look, put it mildly, funny, and your words will cause nothing but laughter and sarcasm.
Don’t give people advice that you don’t apply to your life. This is dilettantism that will rob people of their trust in you. Advise only what you have tried on yourself and in which you have experience.
You cannot deal with your problems
It’s funny to hear how a person who cannot deal with their problems, for some reason, considers themselves an expert and climbs into the lives of other people with their advice. If your goal is to create a bad impression of yourself, to become a hero of jokes, and lose respect from others, then continue in the same spirit, you are on the right track.
If you sincerely want your opinion to be taken seriously and your advice followed, try to clear up your problems first. People will be much more willing to listen to the words of a person who has succeeded in putting their lives in order.
You do not have deep knowledge of the topic under discussion
You should not meddle in a discussion of economics if the last time you were indirectly involved in it were back in your school years. You do not need to give your opinion on global warming if you have never studied this issue. You don’t have to try to be an expert in politics if your only source of information is the evening news.
We all want to appear smart and knowledgeable, but, unfortunately, “to be” and “to seem” are completely different things. Sometimes it is better to let two more knowledgeable people discuss the problem independently, without your intervention. This will cause much more respect on your side than if you continue to play like an expert and get blown away after the very first question that requires deep knowledge.
You don’t value other people’s opinions
We all have the right to our own opinion, and if you do not respect this right, believing that everyone around you is wrong, and you are the only one who knows the truth, others will not listen to you. You will lose your credibility by looking cooler and smarter at the expense of other people.
So either stop being biased towards other people’s opinions, with grins and attempts to point out a person’s lack of awareness of the topic under discussion, or accept that your words will not bother anyone.
You give unsolicited advice
Unsolicited criticism, unsolicited advice, attempts to get into a conversation and express your opinion, which is not interesting to anyone – all this deprives you of respect in the eyes of the people around you.
Never try to impose your views on the other person or persuade him to do something. Either wait until they ask you to give advice and speak, or ask the person if he would be interested in hearing your opinion on the current situation. Respect your boundaries, and then others will appreciate you and what you share with them.
You judge the person you are talking to
If your words negatively affect a person’s image, of course, he will perceive them as a personal insult, react painfully and come into conflict with you. So try not to express information that may indicate a mistake or incorrect behavior of others.
If it is still necessary to say this, try to choose the words as politely and tactfully as possible so that the person does not feel humiliating to agree with what you are saying.
You don’t show empathy
You can give a person good advice, but what’s the point if you show that you do not empathize with his misfortune with all your words and actions. If you advise something with mockery, add sarcastic statements, frankly, be rude before you get to the bottom of the problem, you will not receive any gratitude in your address.
Even if a person does not have anyone else who can give him useful advice, offer help or provide verbal support, he will not accept them from you, considering it a handout and mockery.