How self-doubt secretly influences your decisions
Insecure people do not always look like caricatures; that is, they blush, avoid communication, constantly express doubts about their actions out loud, look confused, and stumble. Insecurity is an insidious condition whose presence the person himself sometimes does not suspect. Because it can manifest itself through certain decisions and habits. You can call many of them the result of your caution, rationalism, or desire for comfort.
If you drop the excuses and dig deeper, you may come across an inconvenient truth: many of your actions are dictated not by desires but by fears. If you are convinced that all this does not concern you, then try to check if this is the case first. Here are some signs by which you can understand that the main engine of your actions is precisely insecurity.
8 signs self-doubt secretly influences your decisions
1. You’re looking for approval
You can constantly wait for confirmation that you’re doing the right thing: ask for advice, even if it’s about some unimportant detail, focus on the expected reaction of others when making decisions, worry about not getting a high enough grade, and fear criticism even more than not trying what you want. These actions indicate that your inner support has weakened and you have begun to put other people’s opinions above your own.
What’s the problem
Even if you get the approval you want, it only has a temporary effect. Yes, you have been supported today, you feel calmer, but tomorrow will be a new day, and with it new situations and a new need to confirm your actions. You get into a vicious circle, you lose contact with yourself, your desires, and your needs. That’s because you’re shifting the focus from what you want to how others will perceive it.
2. You choose an option based on its degree of lightness
Let’s say you have several options for what to do in a particular situation. But instead of choosing the one that you find most interesting or leads you to the desired result, you start from other considerations. Namely, you try to understand which option carries the least risk. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article. This is how self—doubt works – it forces you to avoid difficulties at all costs, rather than put up with the thought of possible failure.
What’s the problem
You choose a simpler job, turn down new opportunities, and stay in your familiar environment, even if you have different values. By convincing yourself that it’s rational to do this, you’re gradually narrowing down your life. Safe options help you avoid discomfort in the short term, but the problem persists, and your fear of further changes becomes even stronger.
3. You’re overreacting to criticism
When someone makes some kind of neutral remark to you, you immediately perceive it as proof of your own inferiority. Basically, any comment that is not a compliment pushes you to do this. Every time you replay someone else’s words in your head for a long time, you begin to doubt what you are doing, to justify yourself or others. Although in most cases, it’s not the criticism itself that causes such a reaction, but rather your initial lack of self-confidence. If you didn’t doubt your actions, it’s unlikely that someone else’s opinion would have such weight for you.
What’s the problem
The problem is that because of your attitude towards criticism, you are condemning yourself to incessant internal tension. At some point, you may wind yourself up so much that you start avoiding unnecessary contacts, overly controlling yourself, and rejecting decisions that hypothetically could lead you to failure.
4. You’re constantly comparing yourself to others
Your insecurity makes you perceive other people’s successes as something too significant. What you don’t have, but someone else has, seems to be the missing element that separates you, a loser, from success. You constantly measure yourself and your value through achievements, appearance, income level, lifestyle, and so on. And, of course, there is always someone in mind who is smarter, richer, more beautiful, and stronger than you.
What’s the problem
These comparisons won’t play in your favor. Just because you don’t see the strengths of others, you don’t think about what they might be less successful at. At the same time, you know all your weaknesses, fears, and doubts, past failures, and mistakes. It makes you feel like you’re constantly falling behind and that you should speed up.
5. You are afraid to show up
You can be silent when you want to say something, keep your thoughts and ideas to yourself, hide your achievements, and avoid actions that could draw attention to you. All because of the fear of looking stupid, behaving obsessively. At the root of these experiences is often just self-doubt, which makes you close yourself off from the outside world. Instead of making yourself known, you downplay yourself, your importance, and your talents.
What’s the problem
This problem is often confused with modesty, and people generally encourage this behavior. But the fear of expressing yourself over time has a negative effect on all areas of your life. People stop perceiving you as a person; they don’t see your strengths, they don’t know what you’re capable of, what values you’re guided by, what your worldview is. And that’s the paradox: by shutting yourself down, you strive to earn respect and gain recognition. However, it is your fear of judgment that prevents you from achieving what you want.
6. You’re trying to be convenient for everyone
Another quality that may seem positive to you and other people is the desire to please others. You will try your best to make a good impression on literally every person. Of course, to do this, you will have to adjust to other people’s expectations: agree to requests and suggestions, even if you don’t want to, justify the hopes of others, put someone’s comfort above your own, and remain silent where you clearly have something to say. At the heart of all this will be your lack of self—confidence – you don’t want to get into conflict, upset someone, and so on.
What’s the problem
That’s the problem: it seems to you that in order to earn the love and respect of others, you need to be comfortable. But here’s the paradox: in most cases, you get the opposite effect. Namely, they stop noticing you, they stop taking your words seriously, and people realize that you can be manipulated.
7. You don’t believe in your success
You’ve managed to achieve what you wanted, but you don’t associate the result with the effort you put in. Instead, you convince yourself and everyone else that you were just lucky, that the circumstances were good, that others helped you, and that you got the right tips. As a result, any success you have is devalued not only by you but also by other people. After all, you don’t calm down and continue to bend your line, even if everyone around you sincerely praises and congratulates you.
What’s the problem
In the end, it doesn’t matter how good you are or how many big wins you have in your arsenal. You still live with the feeling that you don’t know anything, you don’t know how, and you haven’t achieved anything. Internally, you constantly feel unstable, which prevents you from adequately assessing your abilities and capabilities.
8. You’re postponing important actions for later
Most of the time, the habit of procrastinating is not related to your laziness at all. The real reason is the fear that you will make a mistake, fail, become a laughing stock, and fail to meet someone’s expectations. It is because of these thoughts that you can postpone for months an important conversation, the launch of a project, the start of training, and, in general, any other actions for which no one can guarantee you a positive result.
What’s the problem
The fact that you’re dragging your feet only makes the situation worse. First of all, tension is constantly building up inside you. You are well aware of the fact that you need to start, but you come up with new reasons for yourself to wait a little longer. Secondly, circumstances change over time, so after a few weeks or months, they may not be as favorable. That is, to achieve the same result, you will have to work many times more.
