How to stop Berating yourself for mistakes and flaws

We are often our worst enemies because we habitually scold and criticize ourselves for mistakes and shortcomings. One small mistake is enough to start a spiral of negative thoughts aimed at destroying oneself from the inside. Self-flagellation will never bring you anything but misery. This is a problem that needs to be solved. Here are some ways to stop berating yourself for mistakes and shortcomings.

8 ways to stop Berating yourself for mistakes and flaws

1. Identify the reason for the negative internal dialogue

An event most often leads to a negative internal dialogue. This may be the realization that the goal did not turn out to be a success, making a mistake, or something accidental that caused a strong emotional reaction. For example, you may have dropped your coffee mug and immediately berated yourself for what happened.

You can’t help but think, “I just can never do anything right,” or “What’s wrong with me?” Identifying a trigger allows you to interrupt a negative thought process. Your mind will try to move on to unpleasant thoughts immediately, but you can stop it.

2. Take a break

A pause is needed to distance the emotional reaction from the action. Let’s take the same example with a broken coffee mug: Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M .For the full article. adv instead of panicking, take a deep breath and go into another room for a few minutes to look out the window at the world that did not cease to exist after your mistake.

When you calm down, cleaning without blaming yourself will be easier. And if you can’t take your mind off what’s annoying you, try to weaken your emotional reaction by replacing the negative internal dialogue with a neutral or positive one.

3. Talk to yourself in a different way

Negative emotions need to be brought into line with reality. You’re not stupid if you accidentally broke a mug. It doesn’t matter because these are just tableware that can be easily purchased at the store. These thoughts need to be developed and replaced with negativity and criticism. Of course, there is no need to be falsely optimistic. If your big goal doesn’t work out, you shouldn’t try to find the positive in it. You need to focus on solving the problem and avoiding self-flagellation.

4. Reinforce positive thoughts with regular kindness to yourself

Not every negative internal dialogue arises out of trouble. It happens that it is a consequence of how you treat yourself. Suppose you periodically think, “I’m just a loser.” You keep berating yourself daily, making you feel like you don’t deserve anything. Analyze the negative thoughts, patterns, and self-images that you keep turning to. Can they be influenced or changed? How can you replace this negativity with kindness and respect for your personality?

5. Take mistakes and failures as opportunities

Very few people succeed on the first try. Most people must start from the bottom and grow up, accompanied by mistakes and failures. They should be seen as an opportunity to turn around and continue moving, not as a disaster. Failures help you study what didn’t work and draw the right conclusion.

They push us towards wisdom if we try to find it and not just scold ourselves and give up. If you look at troubles from this angle, coping with life’s difficulties is much easier. Mistakes and failures are not something to be afraid of; they are something to learn from.

6. Laugh at the situation

Humor can be a great antidote to stress if used correctly. How to do it? You need to learn to notice the funny side of a situation and even make fun of yourself lightheartedly. Let’s go back to the same coffee cup. You might think, “Well, next time, I’ll buy a mug that bounces off the floor.” Or imagine this situation: your relationship doesn’t work out, no matter how hard you try. You can say, “Well, there are still a lot of fish in the sea; I think I just used the wrong bait.” Another reason to use humor more often in difficult situations is that it helps to train the brain to reevaluate positively.

This is a good way to look for positives even in failures or mistakes, which helps to stay afloat even in difficult times. However, it is worth noting an important rule: never resort to self-deprecating humor. It only reinforces the habit of scolding yourself and looking for your flaws. Try to laugh at yourself without humiliating or insulting yourself, and also joke about the current situation, not what you did.

7. Take responsibility for past mistakes

Taking responsibility for what happened in the past is not easy. It requires acknowledging your emotions and mistakes, forgiveness, and learning from experience. But by taking personal responsibility for the actions you have committed, you will be able to take the proper steps to move forward and grow.

Remember that no one is perfect, but how you deal with setbacks determines what kind of person you will become. Just remember that no one is perfect, but how you deal with setbacks determines what type of person you will become.

8. Forgive yourself for feeling ashamed

You can feel ashamed because of your mistakes and qualities and because you’re scolding yourself again, even though you want to stop. If you don’t fight back against shame, you can end up in a vicious circle. Remember that all changes come from being kind to yourself, not reproaching yourself for something.

Forgive yourself for the shame and guilt you feel, be patient with this part of yourself, and don’t turn negative emotions into a new reason for self-flagellation. They need to be experienced and not made the basis for criticism and condemnation.