Behaviors that can make you seem insecure in dating

Interesting fact: most men who give a partner the impression of being insecure on a date don’t even know it. They think that everything is going pretty well; they show only their best features, or they just behave modestly and cautiously. But at the same time, others read it completely differently. But confidence, after all, is quite attractive. The partner appreciates not only what you say, but also the impression you leave behind. And for the most part, such conclusions are made unconsciously. It is unlikely that anyone will specifically analyze every gesture, intonation, or phrase of the interlocutor. But certain signals suggest that the person in front of you may doubt himself, his words, his own choice, and so on. The good news is that any habits can be changed, if, of course, you try. To begin with, it would be a good idea to analyze your behavior and identify patterns worth working with later.

7 behaviors that can make you seem insecure in dating

1. You avoid eye contact

If you constantly look away on a date, look at the floor, look around, or periodically look at your phone, outwardly you give the impression of an unstable and insecure man. A partner may think that you’re uncomfortable around her, that you’re afraid to open up, or that you’re just not interested in communicating. As a result, even if the date went well, this little thing can still spoil his perception. Of course, we are not talking about constantly looking into the partner’s eyes; such behavior, on the contrary, can scare her away. But if there is practically no eye contact, then this is the other extreme, also unpleasant. A confident person will not constantly avoid eye contact with his interlocutor. If you persistently look for something to focus your attention on, the partner feels awkward at this meeting.

2. You speak too softly

By itself, a loud voice is not considered a sign of self-confidence. In many ways, how loud you speak depends on physiological factors. But in some cases, you may unconsciously switch to a quieter sound, for example, because of excitement, awkwardness, unwillingness to attract attention to yourself, and so on. It’s really bad if, on top of everything else, your speech is unintelligible and you swallow the endings of words. The other person has to constantly ask you again and strain to hear what you are saying. Because of this, it seems that you yourself are not completely sure of your words.

Even if this is not the case in reality, hardly anyone will know about it. Your partner won’t want to ask you uncomfortable questions about the reasons for your behavior. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M. For the full article. She will simply see in front of her a man who tries to occupy as little space as possible and not attract attention to himself.

3. You often make excuses for your words and actions

Constant excuses are probably one of the most common habits of insecure people. If you apologize in advance for your opinion on a date, meticulously explain your every step, justify your tastes and desires, and give a negative assessment of what you are going to say or do, it becomes uncomfortable to be around you. The partner understands that in front of her is a man who does not see his own worth. Moreover, it seems that just one careless phrase and your confidence will be shaken even more. Being self-confident doesn’t mean being categorical or standing up for yourself always and everywhere. This quality manifests itself in a different way: in the ability to calmly express one’s position without trying to build a line of defense against possible criticism in advance, without apologies and excuses.

4. You’re constantly looking for confirmation of your words

Another habit that clearly does not make you beautiful is the desire to hear approval from the other person, to confirm the correctness and significance of your words. You can closely monitor a partner’s facial expressions, try to predict her attitude to what you are saying, and overly control yourself. In some cases, even change your position after encountering resistance or negativity from your interlocutor. Even if you do it to please a partner or create a comfortable environment for her, that doesn’t excuse you. From the outside, your behavior will look like evidence of a lack of inner support. Your interlocutor may get the feeling that you don’t know what you’re talking about, or doubt that your opinion on a particular issue even has a place to be. I’m sure confident people are also interested in the reactions of others, but someone’s disagreement does not immediately force them to change their position.

5. You’re too quick to agree with everything the partner says

Don’t think that you can win a partner’s sympathy by agreeing with everything she says. Of course, you can try to adapt to the interests and views of your interlocutor, support any of her suggestions, and avoid disagreement in any way. But it won’t have the desired effect for you. What seems to you to be a display of politeness or an effort to smooth out the corners in a conversation is perceived as a lack of your own opinion. This is bad primarily because it is extremely uninteresting to interact with such a person. Besides, a partner might think that you don’t care about her personality or what you’re talking about.

6. You’re acting like you’re afraid of making a mistake

The more you worry about a partner’s opinion of you, the more you become clamped down in communication and behavior. You start choosing each word carefully, taking long pauses before answering, afraid to make a joke or laugh at the other person’s joke, afraid to look funny or awkward. However, it is precisely these disturbing thoughts, as well as your stiffness, that combine to produce the very negative effect that you are so afraid of. Communication becomes tense, and not only you, but the girl herself feels uncomfortable. She gets the feeling that there is a person next to her who perceives acquaintance and the whole interaction as an important exam. He doesn’t enjoy talking to her, doesn’t try to get to know her better, but instead frantically thinks over his every step in advance.

7. You constantly downplay your achievements

You may think that modesty is an attractive trait. Therefore, try to talk little about your achievements, results, and ambitions. Instead of sharing something with a partner that you can be proud of, you devalue yourself with phrases like “I’m just lucky,” “It’s not my fault,” or “Anyone could have done it.” There is a huge gap between modesty and downplaying one’s achievements. No one forces you to praise yourself, to describe in colors what you are good at. But you shouldn’t go to the other extreme either. The partner perceives you through the prism of your own attitude towards yourself. And if it’s dismissive, then don’t expect admiration or respect from her.