Being taken for granted: why and how to stop it
Those closest to us or working with us may take us for granted. They appear to believe that we are not going anywhere and that we will always agree with every demand that they make. On the other hand, it is highly doubtful that they will acknowledge our gratitude or, more generally speaking, appreciate the effort we put into dealing with them.
Why do people take us for granted?
There are many different reasons why people take us for granted. Some people do not care that you are there or attempting to help them. They do not recognize or value your efforts, care, or deeds in any way.
Especially if they witness you give in to their actions, other people are more likely to engage in manipulative behavior and toxic relationships. For instance, they might notice that you have troubles with your self-esteem or that you want to be needed, in addition to seeking approval from other people. People may do things to create an addicted relationship or make you feel badly about yourself.
Frequently, these perceptions are born out of the qualities of our personalities. These are the following:
- inability to say “no” and take a position for our values;
- a lack of esteem for yourself;
- a need to win approval from people close to us:
- uncertainty about yourself and an ongoing need for reassurance;
- for the purpose of conflict avoidance;
- a lack of life-focused goals and priorities;
- reluctance to make decisions, followed by procrastination of those decisions.
How to stop being taken for granted
In order to find a solution to this problem, you will need to focus on improving yourself and engaging in conversation with the people closer to you.
1. Put an end to being so friendly to everyone
If you put the needs of others and your own needs last, people will take advantage of you. People will eventually become accustomed to giving them as much time and effort as they request from you. In the long run, people will come to see your assistance and support as more of a duty than a pleasant act of kindness.
Put an end to doing everything for everyone else, especially if you lack the time or motivation. Learn how to turn down people’s requests, and prioritize your own happiness over the needs of others.
By the way, if you want people to respect you and your time, a good approach is to disappear from their lives completely. You can take away the power that other people believe they have over you if you choose this tactic, which consists of working on your relationships with those who take you for granted.
People with some common sense and respect for you will not repeat their mistakes again because they will recognize your importance to them. This is because they will learn from their past experience.
And some people will pretend to be sorry, but as soon as they realize you’re back in their lives, they’ll go right back to doing the same things they did before you were there. If this is the case, you could find that you have no choice but to decide to cut off all contact with them.
2. Think about how you feel personally about yourself
Certain people tend to hold themselves to unrealistically high standards. They require everyone’s support and acknowledgment to succeed. They get the impression that they are failures or not good enough to be appreciated when they do not have this.
There’s also the possibility that we’ll take things personally or feel responsible for the emotional health of others around us.
As long as we continue to have such views, it will be simple for others to take what we do for granted. Low self-esteem and a strong sense of detest for yourself are the most typical factors contributing to this conduct. It is in your best interest to put effort into changing them if you want to stop being comfortable with everyone around you.
3. Don’t be scared to speak up and ask for what you want
We are extremely cosy, according to the standards of others who take our convenience for granted, especially when we are worried that expressing what we want or asking for it will not be met with support or will result in criticism.
But doing so is essential if you are serious about putting things in order. You can be direct with your partner and tell them that you’re sick of them taking you for granted, and then explain to them how you’d like to work on improving the relationship between the two of you.
The same principle applies to other people: the more frequently you say what you want, the fewer people will anticipate your behavior. And in such a case, it is highly unlikely that it will take you for granted.
4. Stay strong
Keep an optimistic attitude no matter what happens. Try not to let the terrible things in life get you down. Maintain your strength, and do not allow anyone to take advantage of you.
This will help you keep your dignity and show others that they should not take you or your worth for granted. Additionally, it will make it simpler for people to appreciate you due to your actions.
Focus on the positive aspects of the circumstance at hand and always look for the bright side. This can help you preserve a positive attitude and demonstrate to other people that they should not take your abilities for granted. In addition to this, it will make a living a great deal more enjoyable.
5. Develop the habit of speaking up for yourself
You have an obligation to stick up for yourself if someone mistreats you or disrespectfully treats you. If you don’t take precautions, there is a chance that you will become so used to the situation that the behavior towards you will be seen as the standard.
In addition, we feel it is important to mention that having this skill is a great way to show other people that you value yourself and want respect from them in return.