The majority of relationship mistakes are committed out of fear rather than spite. Getting involved with another person is a risk. Trying to protect yourself and “do better” often keeps you from being a good partner and enjoying your relationship. Here are the fears that are preventing you from having a happy relationship.
7 fears you need to overcome to enjoy a relationship
1. The fear of falling in love with the wrong person
We subconsciously seek to display our best side at the start of an affair, but the game of Mr. and Miss Perfect can’t last. You can’t relax and be yourself because you’re afraid he’ll be fearful if he sees your anger, grief, uncertainty, or other unpleasant feelings.
Each of us wants a partner who sees more in us than a collection of particular personal qualities: appearance, social rank, and convenience. Not being scared to be vulnerable is the greatest method to locate that kind of person. Close friends are there for you to come to with your flaws and weaknesses and get support.
2. Fear of losing him
He’s attractive, intelligent, and successful. Your only thought is, “How could such perfection find me?” Many people experience this fear when they first fall in love when a cocktail of chemicals in their bodies stops them from seeing the object of their affection in a realistic light.
Low self-esteem is another source of fear since it makes it difficult to trust that you can have a loving, caring partner.
Increasing your confidence will take time and effort. However, there are steps you can take right now to get control over your fears. Determine which factors you have control over and which you do not. For example, you can’t make someone love you or keep someone who has fallen out of love with you. You may, however, be a kind, understanding partner and grow as a person without being trapped in a relationship. Don’t waste your energy on things that don’t need your attention.
3. Fear of being hurt once again
Past relationships might greatly hurt your happiness. Your trauma shows itself in suspicion of the new guy, fear of cheating, fear of making mistakes, and fear of getting rejected.
It’s important to remember that each relationship has risks, but it’s always worthwhile. You can’t protect yourself from fresh sorrow, but you’re also sentencing yourself to new suffering by being alone out of fear. Try to tell yourself more frequently that the person in front of you is another person, that guys are not the same, and that the next relationship will not be as terrible.
4. Fear that the chemistry between you will disappear
Relationships do change through time, but not necessarily for the better. There are no less delightful and vital experiences than the five times you’ve had s3x, the crazy thrill of every encounter, and the unfettered romance: confidence, comfort, and deeper attachment.
Instead of lamenting the way things were, focus on the positive aspects of how your relationship has grown through time. It’s never too late to add curiosity, imagination, and affection, but keep in mind that living together is a series of phases, each with its own buzz.
5. The fear of becoming too independent
Women in our culture are still afraid of being too self-reliant. Although being strong and independent is connected with loneliness, being self-sufficient in a partnership is achievable.
To maintain your relationship, you don’t have to play along and feed his ego with repeated demands for help. If a man can’t handle your coolness, it’s his fault, not yours.
6. Fear that your family may reject him
When you love someone, you want others to see what you see in them, particularly the people who are closest to you. Unfortunately, your friends or family may believe he or she is mediocre, unsuccessful, or unworthy of you, but you are under no obligation to change their thoughts.
There is no need for anybody to defend their relationship. You won’t be able to make everyone like your partner, but you may demand respect. Trust your instincts; if you’re sure you’ve selected a good man, don’t allow other people’s views to shake your faith.
7. Fear of making a mistake
Fear of making the wrong decision, being disappointed in a relationship, or mistaking your partner for someone he or she isn’t may strike throughout your dating life. The most frightening feeling is realizing how much time and energy you’ve wasted.
This fear is just as dangerous as losing your lover. You cannot be certain that you will spend the rest of your life with this person. But, in any case, don’t consider the time you spend with him or her to be wasted. It is an event that shapes your whole life and personality.