How to understand that you are investing in a relationship more than a partner
In a healthy and sustainable partnership, both try to make an equal contribution to the relationship. More often, the situation develops so that one of them takes on more obligations and is faced with the need to serve emotionally, without feeling the return from the companion. We will tell you what hidden signals can hint that your relationship has become an area of only your responsibility.
Your partner always needs a reminder
There is a big difference between a partner who tries on an equal footing with you and someone who needs to be reminded a hundred times, even about the little things. A family therapist argues that constantly reminding your partner to buy dog food, do the dishes, pay bills, and do other daily chores is a red flag signaling that you require emotional service.
The partner does not seek to help
Sometimes, people cannot do what they are asked to do due to high employment or health problems. According to a clinical psychologist, a good partner will take care of, if not all, household chores, then at least those that it can handle. If your partner does not offer help in difficult times, it is time to think about whether they are asking too much of you.
Often, this sign is associated with another warning sign of an imbalanced relationship: the detachment of a partner during difficult times. If he is silent or leaves you in moments when support is needed, he is most likely too self-centered to contribute to your relationship. In this case, it is recommended that you have a crucial conversation with your companion and decide whether it makes sense to stay with him.
You’re on the verge of burnout
In a healthy relationship, both partners have things to do that lead to mild fatigue. If you frankly exhaust and exhaust yourself in trying to do everything that is required of you, your partner likely settled on your neck so quickly that you did not even notice it.
To understand whether household chores really led to burnout, by asking yourself the following questions:
- How often do you have to get up earlier or go to bed later to get everything done?
- Do you and your partner share a to-do list? If so, how do you share responsibilities?
- Who buys everything you need for your home more often: you or a partner?
In difficult times, you do not call your partner, but a third party
Another sign that you have been held accountable for the relationship is that you prefer not to call your partner in difficult times but to a family member, friend, or even a colleague. This happens because, at such moments, a person subconsciously knows: a companion will not help and cannot be trusted.
You feel abandoned and alone
There are many reasons why people feel abandoned while in a relationship. One of them can be called too much responsibility for the relationship.
When you control everything related to everyday life, it can be difficult to plan something interesting and fun for dating. In addition, in such unions, the less responsible partner practically does not make an effort to have a good time together: there is no need to do this if everyone will come up with it for him.
Your partner needs praise all the time
This is not about difficult cases or challenging projects: it is worth encouraging a companion in such cases. The narcissistic partner often expects praise even after completing the simplest household chores, washing dishes, doing laundry, or throwing out the trash. If he helps out with chores every five years, it’s logical that he would value his contribution to everyday life too highly. In an honest and balanced relationship, both perform daily tasks without expecting praise.
You are used to checking up on him with strikes
If your partner lets you down endlessly regarding household chores, it will eventually lead to resentment and anger. Relationship therapist points out that pissed-off people want to test their companion by declaring a strike: this, in their opinion, is one of the few ways to influence lazy people.
However, this tactic usually leads to a total deterioration in relations. According to the partner, everything was fine, and he can perceive your refusal to do household chores as detachment and readiness to quarrel. If you have to go on strike, try to honestly talk with your loved one about what does not suit you in the division of responsibilities.