How to deal with painful memories that poison your life

Unwanted memories can sound like an annoying song in your head. Whether it is awkward, painful, or traumatic, they get in the way of enjoying life. Several ways will help you say goodbye to them.

8 how to deal with painful memories that poison your life

1. Process the feelings associated with the memory

Painful memories bring suffering, as they are filled with raw feelings. And if we try to push them away, we will never fully deal with negative emotions. Writing an expressive letter is one way to process the feelings hidden deep inside. Set aside twenty minutes in a calm environment; take a paper and a pen.

Don’t worry about grammar, spelling, style, or structure— write about your deepest thoughts and feelings about a painful memory. Remember in the letter what you would not talk about with anyone. After you have expressed your emotions on paper, do not reread them — burn or tear the sheet into small pieces, and then send it to the trash.

2. Keep track of memory triggers

To deal with painful memories, you need to identify what is causing them. You can notice patterns if you keep a detailed diary, tracking the moments when unpleasant episodes of the past come back to mind. Understanding these triggers will allow you to anticipate potential emotional reactions, prepare for them, and avoid certain moments if necessary.

3. Get rid of what connects you to the past

Sometimes, things closely related to the past are constant reminders of what happened and the cause of painful memories. Visit. A F R I N I K .C O M .For the full article. For example, if the cactus standing next to your computer constantly reminds you that it was given to your ex, it is better to give it into good hands. By consciously changing your environment, you actively participate in your healing process, creating a space conducive to positivity and growth rather than pain and nostalgia.

4. Create new associations

If you can’t get rid of things that are triggers, create new associations for them. For example, imagine that when you smell cinnamon, you don’t remember an unpleasant incident in childhood but the evening when grandma baked cinnamon rolls in the oven. Or you can make cinnamon pancakes with a friend to have a great time and change the trigger pattern by creating a new memory.

5. Turn pain into a project to help others

Turning a negative memory into an art project or creative endeavor is a good solution. It helps you get through a painful experience, and it can also be a way to help other people who are going through something similar. When you express an unpleasant memory creatively, for example, by describing it in a story or drawing a plot on this topic, it will acquire new associations and become a source of pain and evidence of your resilience and purpose. Sharing your work with other people can be just as powerful. It is an act of vulnerability that invites communication and offers solace to those trying to overcome their difficulties.

6. Look for a new understanding of events

A real-life example: when you remember breaking up with your ex-girlfriend, it primarily causes negative emotions and reflections on the event. However, one way to deal with this memory is to focus on the positive aspects or look for a new understanding of what happened. After thinking about what happened, you may note that the breakup inspired you to reconsider what traits and characteristics you want to see in the girl you’re starting a new relationship with.

Also, rethinking the situation often leads to a positive understanding of an unpleasant situation. Yes, you broke up; it’s insulting and painful, but on the other hand, it’s better to break off a relationship that doesn’t work than regret after years that you spent time with the wrong person.

7. Learn to be in the present

It is impossible to hide from obsessive thoughts about the negative past. They keep popping up in my head and at the wrong times. You need to learn to focus on the present to stop dwelling on them. Yes, you will have to make considerable efforts and use your will to drive them away, but this will help reduce anxiety and put unpleasant memories in the baggage, not allowing them to control your life.

Take the time to notice small details, such as the sounds and smells surrounding you. This will help you return to the moment the stream of thoughts captures your mind. You can also choose a quote you like and repeat it whenever painful memories are felt. It will be a grounding point and a reminder that you have a choice of what to think about.

8. Live a full life

Many people notice that negative memories capture them in moments of idleness. To deal with unpleasant thoughts less often and change the focus to more positive things, try to complete your life. If you spend much time alone, distract yourself with a good book or find a new hobby. Remember: the more time you spend doing nothing, the more often you will reflect on what caused you pain.

Physical activity, attending events, creating something new, volunteering, and socializing with friends—all these will help you put unpleasant memories on the back burner and create new ones that are so joyful that you will want to contact them as often as possible.