We have all felt a burning pain in our chest at least once in our lives because our relationship is over. Often this happens because we do not agree with this outcome of what is happening; we still feel emotions and attachment to the former partner and do not know what to do next.
But to further build your life, you need to learn how to cope with your emotions. We’ll show you how to heal a broken heart if you and your partner have broken up.
How to heal a broken heart and move on
Give yourself some rest and calm down in the first days after breaking up
To get over the breakup with your loved one, you need to give yourself time to understand and accept the current situation. It would help if you didn’t jump right into action like registering on a dating site or solving other problems.
After parting, we want to close ourselves off from the outside world and be alone with ourselves. Dealing with a breakup in this way can only exacerbate heartache and other negative emotions. Contact people who will support you and help you – even if you need to come and be silent together.
Don’t let your emotions take over your mind
Controlling emotions is difficult, but it is possible, and it is worth learning for your moral well-being. Try to view ending the relationship as a learning experience and an opportunity to grow, not a failure.
And you shouldn’t take revenge on your ex, even if you are very angry with him and dream of turning his life into a nightmare. Inflicting pain on another person will not heal a broken heart, but it will add feelings of guilt when you calm down and understand that revenge is not justified by anything.
Take care of yourself
You can take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. After a breakup, attention must be paid to all of these areas.
The physical concern is to eat right, avoid excessive alcohol intake. Alcohol is a depressant and, in large doses, makes us think about the negative more and more, which only hinders the healing of a broken heart. It’s also worth engaging in physical activity, which helps the production of serotonin, the hormone of happiness. And devote more time to activities that you enjoy.
Emotionally and spiritually, you can support yourself by asking for help from loved ones. A conversation with a friend will help you look at the situation from the outside and understand that you are not alone. It’s also worth reading the literature on controlling emotions if you need to or other psychology resources to support yourself.
Don’t dwell on the past
When you’re going through a breakup, there is a big risk that your thoughts will be reminiscent of how good you and your partner used to be most of the time. You can focus only on the good moments and not see the whole picture, looking at the past through rose-coloured glasses.
Try to view your past relationship as a combination of good and bad things. And it would help if you also refused to check the social networks of your former partner. It’s impossible to deal with a broken heart quickly if you constantly involve the past in your life. So instead of dwelling on what’s gone, it’s worth focusing on the present.
Don’t get into new relationships too quickly
You may feel like you need to find a new partner as soon as possible not to feel lonely. Such a “restorative” relationship does not lead to anything good and does not help cope with separation’s pain.
We can repeat the same mistakes in new relationships we made in the past. Or compare partners. And in some cases, you want the new person next to you to behave and say the same thing as the previous partner. Such relationships usually end quickly due to our unpreparedness for them – and in addition to a broken heart, we receive an additional “portion” of regret and disappointment.
Try to forgive
Forgiving your ex, especially if they were the initiator of the breakup, can be difficult. Or if there was a lie and betrayal in your relationship on his part.
However, forgiveness is needed for you, not for him. When we forgive people, we let go of the hurt inside us and poisons our lives. This does not mean that we support the actions of the former partners or encourage his actions. This means that we find the strength to survive this moment and be above the negativity that has befallen us.
When we forgive a person, we permit ourselves to stop wasting time and energy on them, considering the causes and consequences of their actions. We let them go and open ourselves up to something new.
You also need to forgive yourself for healing your broken heart. You cannot change the past and the mistakes you made in it, but you can forgive yourself. Each mistake is an experience of how we want or do not want to act in the future, and not a reason to remind ourselves of this and feel a constant sense of guilt.