When a relationship ends, you may feel two ways: on the one hand, you start a new life; this is an excellent time for self-improvement and new achievements and victories. On the other hand, it is challenging to get used to dramatic changes in life because your relationship is exactly what you have been living all the last time.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve only met for a few weeks, months, or years – when you miss someone who is no longer in your life, it is perilous. This condition negatively affects your thoughts and emotions, taking away all the positive energy and motivation.
Breaking up is not easy for everyone. Especially if this is someone whom you loved very much, whom you cared about every day and thought every minute, with whom you went through all the black and white stripes of your life. When you miss your ex, all you do is think about what he is doing, how he is feeling, and who you are with right now. Unfortunately, we rarely get the opportunity to find out all this. We often come across questions that cannot be answered.
When you miss your ex-boyfriend, it seems to you that you cannot get through the moment of separation, get up and move on. Don’t worry: this is possible. Of course, this will take some time. Here are some helpful ways to help you stop missing your ex and give you tips on starting moving on on your own.
No more negativity
You may constantly be wondering why you are not together anymore when you miss your ex-boyfriend. But this is unreasonable. If you are still reminiscing about the last moments of your relationship or wondering if he lied to you, if he already found someone better, you will be stuck at one point for a long time.
You’d better get rid of this negative energy than dwell on questions that you will never know the answers to. Just understand that you cannot focus on other people all the time. Focus on the positive things happening in your life, even if they all seem to be clouded by the breakup.
Acknowledge your feelings
Why do you miss your ex? Is it because you loved him, or because you are lonely now? Pinpointing why you feel nostalgic can quickly help you overcome the feelings of not having a partner. The truth is, we all have emotions, but they are not always pleasant.
If loneliness is the cause of suffering, figure out how to deal with it, and you will make your life so much easier. You can also come to terms with the fact that you are still in love with your ex. True feelings are not easy to resist, but they will be much easier to work with once you can admit to yourself what you really feel inside.
Write him. But don’t click “Submit”
Write it by hand or by email, but make sure you don’t send it. This action can have a therapeutic effect: you release all your emotions, which will help you overcome negative thoughts or, worse, self-blame.
If you miss your ex and can’t figure out how to deal with all your emotions, it’s best to write them down on a piece of paper or notes on your phone. Of course, don’t send the contents of the message to your ex! These recordings are personal and intimate. And it can make it even easier for you if you burn the paper after describing your feelings after breaking up.
Find a hobby
If you keep yourself busy, you will forget about the breakup. You are hurt and lonely in part because you are bored. If you go headlong into work, cleaning, or a hobby, you can rehabilitate yourself.
It can take a while to heal, so focusing on activity and focusing on yourself is a great way to overcome the suffering of your ex’s absence in your life.
Start writing, reading, drawing or playing video games, running, dancing, and playing the guitar. If you’ve ever wanted to learn new skills, now is the time to do so. Try something that you have never done before, simply because you are free. Find a new hobby that you enjoy. Keeping you busy will distract you from bad thoughts and memories.
Leave your ex alone
You may find it tempting to send your ex a funny picture or a joint photo that you suddenly find on your laptop, an email, or a messenger message. But resist your desire! If you want to make you feel nostalgic together, or if you think there is a chance to get back in touch, you shouldn’t bombard your man with messages and notifications, acting like you’re still dating.
It may take a while for him to sort out his feelings after the breakup, and he will not be able to do this if he feels that you are constantly standing behind him. So, even if you want him to see your picture of you hugging, resist the urge. If he is ready to return to you, renewing the relationship, he will do it without your reminders of himself.
Get rid of memories
You broke up and missed your ex, but it’s pointless to keep your photos together on the fridge. Please take off the jewelry that he gave you, do not re-read the correspondence. Of course, you want to get some warm emotions, remembering the good times when you were together, but this way, you hurt yourself more. Letting go of the ex in such a situation becomes even more difficult.
When you are in pain, you remember all the good, beautiful moments, but that won’t help you stop missing the past. When there are no constant reminders of the past in your life, you can let go of it much earlier.
Chat with people
Don’t stay at home, meet new people, make friends. You don’t have to register on dating sites and look for a new beau right away. But you should not be at home for days, seizing stress and ignoring everything around you.
New acquaintances will help you overcome the lack of attention because you will be too busy studying people and getting to know each other. By filling your life with positive energy, you can stop remembering your past relationships. After all, if the two of you had never broken up, you wouldn’t be having these new, unforgettable experiences right now.
Talk to someone
It would be best if you didn’t keep all your emotions to yourself. Be sure to speak to your friend, mom, sister or sign up for a psychologist. Therapy can help you if you are struggling to recover from your breakup.
Long-term relationships can be just as damaging as marriages, especially if you’ve lived together and planned for the future.
Seeing a therapist doesn’t make you “crazy,” although many people have these stereotypes. The psychologist will help you analyze your feelings and guide you on the correct healing path.
Ask your friends not to talk about their ex
Friends can remind you of past experiences for a very long time. Ask them to exclude the ex-partner’s name in conversations, and you will feel better. Let your loved ones know that it hurts you to realize that everything is over between you. True friends will be able to get into the situation and will do everything to make you comfortable.
What if your friends are chatting with your ex? Keeping in touch with what he is doing, how he is feeling, and who he is dating will make it harder for you to get over the breakup. So if your friends are still in touch with him, ask them to avoid talking about their ex while they are with you. But your friends don’t have to stop communicating with the person, no matter how you ask.
Try to travel more
It is unnecessary to buy expensive tickets and fly for 8 hours to the islands to see the ocean. But if you’re in the same city as your ex, you might find it easier to deal with the separation if you leave your home for a few days. If you have friends in another city or your parents live far from you, why not use this opportunity and visit your family and friends?
When you leave for another place, you will feel much better, as nothing will remind you of your past relationship. Plus, you definitely won’t see your ex. You will get a lot of positive emotions, get distracted and relax.
One last important thought
Learning to deal with a lack of relationships isn’t always easier than being in one. However, reunification is not always an option. Yes, you have to pull yourself together and put all your energy into rehab after breaking up, but then you will be proud of yourself. After all, you will learn a new life without stress, worries, and negative emotions.
No more nights spent wondering if you need this person—no more tears and fights over the fact that you are not heard.
Leaving all negativity behind, taking control of your own emotions and thoughts – this is exactly what everyone who struggles with depression after a breakup should do.