How to manage your single status when all your friends have girlfriends

If you are the only lonely guy in the company of your friends, then you probably face discomfort and a sense of resentment from the fact that the circumstances turned out that way. You perceive every wedding invitation or sentimental photo of your friends as a reminder that everyone around you is in love, but you are not. You’re probably genuinely happy for friends whose relationships have worked out well but still sometimes feel like outsiders among them.

And it can be a bitter and unpleasant experience. It makes you jealous, upset, insecure, or lonely. You can also feel a certain amount of pressure from others that you need to find someone, settle down, just to fit into your group, and it’s pretty depressing. But it’s not worth rushing into a relationship with the first girl you come across, not to remain the last lonely guy among friends. It is better to handle this situation healthily. That’s what needs to be done.

6 ways to manage your single status

1. Look beyond what you see

When surrounded by happy couples in love, it is easy to succumb to self-doubt, especially if you yearn for relationships and romance. Immediately, you start asking yourself millions of questions, for example, “What’s wrong with me?”, “Why can’t I find a girlfriend in any way?” etc. But remember that your narrow circle of lucky friends has nothing to do with what’s happening around you.

It is not a definition of “normality,” which you must strive for with all your might and because of which you must underestimate yourself. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article. Look beyond what you see here and now. Instead of being a tyrant to yourself and believing that everyone’s life is moving forward and yours is marking time, look at the situation differently. Don’t get stuck in negative thinking, self—criticism, and self-flagellation—challenge your inner dialogue.

Remind yourself more often that countless people remain lonely, but this does not mean they are not good enough or something is wrong with them. Tens and thousands of decent, good guys are not in a relationship yet, not at all because they are the problem, but because they do not want to exchange for less and are looking for a decent couple, which is nothing shameful.

By challenging your beliefs and trying to look beyond what you see by watching your buddies, you’re setting up a reality check that will help you feel bad less often. And it’s also worth expanding your social circle to include couples and single people with whom you can find a common language.

2. Take advantage of the benefits of a bachelor’s life

There are many negative cliches about how terrible it is to be alone. However, the reality is that most of them are not valid. Loneliness can be unpleasant, but still, it has its advantages. The more often you notice his bright side, the easier it becomes to realize there is nothing wrong with not having a girlfriend yet. First, think about your free time and flexibility. You can use them to explore new hobbies, develop skills, and find a passion for life.

Secondly, the absence of a relationship does not mean you will be stuck in this state forever. You can go on dates, choose, and look closely to connect life with a decent girl. These are not all the advantages of a bachelor’s life, which you should remind yourself of more often. It’s better to focus on the benefits that temporary loneliness gives you than to fixate on the desire to have a relationship and suffer every day.

3. Rethink the position of the “Third extra”

Being the third person in the company of friends is unpleasant. Thinking about this term, you immediately imagine a dozen or two awkward situations where couples in love get lost in their world, and you act as a silent observer, just present nearby. However, even such moments can be turned into quite funny and not boring memories. It is only important to approach leisure activities correctly.

Instead of agreeing to dinner with a friend and his girlfriend, which is awkward, he suggested they spend a game night at home or a quiz at a sports bar in their neighborhood. This will eliminate the feeling that you are the third extra on a romantic date and change the atmosphere from “me and the sweet couple” to “me and the people I have fun with.”

4. Plan relationship vacations and events

Special occasions like anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, or weddings remind you of your loneliness and other people’s happiness. It is unnecessary to abandon the celebration, come up with excuses, and offend friends with your absence — preparing for such dates and having a definite plan is essential. Consider what will help you feel more confident in a potentially overwhelming situation.

For example, when talking with a friend about how his wedding will go, ask if other singles will be present, and ask him to put you at the same table. This way, cooing couples won’t surround you but will be able to communicate with those who can understand you. If this is not possible, arrange with a good friend to meet after attending the event, play video games, or, in principle, do something that brings fun and laughter. Think of it as a reward for not giving up and a little joy you can look forward to.

5. When annoyed by personal questions, distract yourself

One of the most annoying parts of being a single friend in the company of friends is their endless annoying questions about your personal life. If you don’t want to answer them, gently turn the conversation to other topics; for example, you can talk about interesting aspects of your life that have nothing to do with relationships. Here’s what it looks like a friend asks you why you haven’t found anyone yet.

You say, “Yes, I’m not dating anyone right now, but I just recently interviewed for a new job, and I feel so good about how it went, you can’t imagine.” By casually emphasizing your achievements and interests, you subtly remind your friends and yourself that your value is not related to whether you are in a relationship or not. However, constantly redirecting other people’s questions can be exhausting, so take advantage of our latest advice, which you will find below.

6. When deprived, be honest, but don’t blackmail

Sometimes, you feel annoyed or inappropriate when discussing relationships with friends. You may tire of their constant chatter about emotions, dating, everyday problems, etc. It’s unfair to expect them to never talk about it or show signs of attention to their girls if you’re around. However, setting respectful boundaries is perfectly normal when their behavior makes you uncomfortable.

For example, if their constant jokes about relationships or discussing pressing issues make you feel left out, say so. But just don’t turn the situation into blackmail like “It’s either me or your girls,” as well as hysteria about how you are being violated and how unhappy you are. It is better to express dissatisfaction like this: “I am very glad that everything is fine with you, but it is difficult for me to listen to endless conversations about dating, of which there have been so many lately.
Can we discuss things that are not related to relationships more often?” Most likely, your friends will understand you. But if they continue to ignore the boundaries you are trying to set, this may signal that it’s time to look for another company where people will hear and respect each other.