How to recognize when a person is pouring negativity into you

You exchange information, emotions, support, and ideas with others. But communication does not always bring benefits and joy. Some people can turn any conversation into a one-sided drain of negativity, using others as sympathetic listeners. It’s not easy to recognize such a destructive pattern, especially when it comes to someone close to you. We have collected several signs that are worth paying attention to. They indicate that your interlocutor is pouring all his negativity into communication with you.

9 signs that a person is pouring all their negativity into you

1. You feel tired after a conversation

Communicating with a person who finds negativity everywhere and in everything is quickly exhausting. Even a short conversation can leave you feeling drained and emotionally tired. You want to shut yourself off from everyone, be quiet, be alone with yourself. This is due to the fact that you find yourself actively involved in other people’s negative emotions, spending your energy on support without getting anything in return.

And a person’s problems are not solved: even if something in his life gets better, there is always a new reason for suffering. As a result, instead of a surge of energy after communication, you feel the exact opposite effect — apathy and a desire to abstract from any conversations.

2. You only do what you support and soothe

In a healthy relationship, support is always mutual. Both people share their joyful and sad life events, provide all possible help in difficult moments, and try to be close. Visit . A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article.

If you constantly feel like a therapist who is unsuccessfully trying to pull the other person out of the abyss of negativity, this is not normal. An adult should be responsible for their own emotional state. In the event that your own needs and desires are ignored, but you are required to be involved in other people’s problems, communication can be safely called toxic.

3. You feel guilty or ashamed for no apparent reason

Negative people often use manipulation in response to your attempts to build or protect personal boundaries in dealing with them. If a person can make you feel guilty or ashamed that you pay too little attention to them, don’t understand their problems, or don’t empathize with them enough, that’s a wake-up call.

Most likely, your interlocutor is trying to shift responsibility for his emotional state onto you. If the situation repeats itself periodically, you will begin to doubt yourself, your ability to be empathetic, and support your loved ones. As a result, driven by guilt or shame, you can force yourself to maintain communication with a person, even if it drains you.

4. You realize that your advice and suggestions are being ignored

A person tells you in vivid detail about their problem, and you join in the conversation. You spend time, nerves, and energy searching for possible solutions, offering good options, and giving advice from personal experience. And it doesn’t lead to anything at all. Your interlocutor either dismisses your suggestions, convincing you that they are ineffective, or ignores what you have said. Not because your advice is bad, but because he doesn’t need a solution. A person likes to speak out to you, to vent the accumulated negativity, while he is not going to change anything in his life.

5. You don’t get any words of thanks

You’ve had a lot of long conversations with someone, but you’ve never received a word of gratitude from them. Moreover, you didn’t just listen, you actively supported and reassured him, gave him advice, and offered help. This behavior doesn’t necessarily mean that the person doesn’t appreciate your involvement.

It rather suggests that he is so absorbed in his problems that he does not notice the efforts of others. He may take your support for granted as an integral part of your communication. As a result, you find yourself constantly involved in other people’s problems without being able to help the person, and you finally get rid of this heavy burden.

6. You realize that dialogues are built in the same way

Try to pay attention to the structure of conversations with a person. If your dialogue is structured approximately the same way each time (your interlocutor starts with complaints and negative news, and you take the role of a sympathetic listener), this is a reason to think.

You don’t discuss ideas on how to fix the situation, you don’t make plans for the future, you don’t look for solutions, but instead, you drown in destructive conversations. It doesn’t look like a normal conversation between people, but rather a drain on negativity. The person just talks you down and expects you to continue supporting them no matter what.

7. You begin to adopt the negative attitudes of the person

If you keep in touch with a negative person for a long time, this will be reflected in your worldview. For example, you will start to think pessimistically, see the world in black and white, and adopt toxic beliefs that were previously not close to you. The worst thing is that it doesn’t happen suddenly, but gradually, so you may not notice these changes in yourself.

Being with a negative person all the time makes you literally infected with their pessimism. His persuasiveness makes you question your own positive attitudes.

8. You try to avoid the person

When communication is pleasant or useful, you want to continue to see the person. You initiate conversations yourself, you’re happy to get in touch, and you offer to see each other. If you instinctively start looking for ways to avoid interaction, then something doesn’t suit you. Even if at first glance you don’t find any reasons (you didn’t conflict, you didn’t set each other up, you didn’t break agreements), don’t rush to dismiss your feelings.

People who vent their negativity on others may seem harmless and friendly, but communicating with them will be exhausting. That’s why you’ll constantly come up with excuses why you can’t answer a call or meet up. You don’t want to offend a person, but you can no longer tolerate interacting with them.

9. You understand that communication is one-sided

There should always be a balance in a healthy relationship. You give your time, support, and emotions, and get the same from the person in return. It’s not always possible to stick to the 50/50 principle, but it’s not necessary. It is more important to feel and realize that your interlocutor also strives to invest in your communication.

If you constantly feel that you are giving more than you are receiving, and the relationship with a person is becoming one-sided, this is a good reason to think about ending it. It is likely that in difficult or unpleasant moments, your friend simply pours out all his negative emotions on you. You try to help him, provide support, give advice, or just be with him, but you realize that it’s pointless to expect the same attitude from him.