A significant number of us are uncomfortable with the prospect of facing cheating. And there are many reasons to be afraid, ranging from negative experiences in past relationships to overall anxiety. But the more times we are faced with fear and play out frightening situations in our heads, the more our lives and the relationships we have with others get polluted by it. You will gain insight into how to deal with this feeling as you read through the article.
6 ways to stop thinking about being cheated on
1. You need to stop monitoring your partner
People who are paranoid about being cheated on frequently turn to monitor their partner’s activities or even actually spying on them. They perform activities such as visiting his social network profile multiple times daily, listening in on his surroundings when they speak to him on the phone, and monitoring his written text.
Unfortuitously, this behavior further stokes fear and impedes the process of creating trust in the relationship, particularly if the partner learns about such an infringement of their personal space.
Even though the circumstance we find ourselves in is entirely benign, we can nonetheless be prejudiced by it. For instance, when a female coworker offers him congratulations on holiday, we automatically interpret this as flirting behavior. This is nothing more than a postcard that has been given out to all of the employees as a token of respect.
Put down the phone and focus your strength and energy on the experiences you’re having instead of constantly monitoring your partner’s gadget. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes for a moment and imagine what it would be like to be with someone who does not trust you and attempts to micromanage your every move. Would you want to be with that person?
2. Stop torturing yourself with critical thoughts
When we are anxious about something, negative thoughts frequently enter our minds. The fear of being cheated is not an exception to this rule. To deal with it, you need to learn how to silence the critical voice inside your head and correct yourself when you start having a negative conversation with yourself in your mind.
Be on the lookout for statements that feed your fear of being cheated on as well as self-criticism.
As soon as you become aware that you have such ideas, it would help if you immediately stop, take deep breaths, and then gradually begin to replace these thoughts with positive or neutral ones. Remind yourself that you are worthy of being loved just as much as everyone else is because there is no way for you to be worse than the rest of us. After all, we are all special people.
3. Work on self-esteem
A partner’s fear of being cheated is frequently linked to low self-esteem. We may get to the conclusion that we are not deserving of a good person who is standing next to us or that we harbor insecurities regarding our own attractiveness, worth, or other personal attributes. Establishing healthy self-esteem and coming to terms with who you are are necessary steps in overcoming fear.
4. Put an end to thinking over your past experience
It is natural to feel fear based on what has happened in the past. However, it is important to remember that every relationship is different. Just because an ex-partner cheated in the past does not guarantee that the other will cheat in the future. Keep this in mind whenever you think about the possibility of your lover having an affair with someone else.
Remember that ideas result from terrible experiences and tell yourself, “This story should not be repeated, and right now, my partner and I are doing a great job with this.” This will help you break the cycle of negative thinking.
5. Consider what will happen if your fears come true
To overcome fear, it is necessary to understand the factors that give rise to it and contemplate the results that might result from its actualization. Because we do not always take the time to assess the current situation, our uneasiness in the face of the unknown is compounded by our fear of being cheated.
Visualize the most terrible possible result for your fear to materialize, and then apply that line of inquiry to every assertion that comes to mind.
Here is an example: “My boyfriend has been unfaithful to me. After that, what should we do?” The solution may be that acknowledging this will cause you both physical and emotional pain. So, what should we do next? If there is no longer any trust between the two of you, it is quite doubtful that you will be able to keep the relationship. It would help if you ended things with your current partner. You are terrified of losing him and being rendered entirely helpless for anyone else.
6. Talk to your partner
In any relationship, communication is an essential component. However, we frequently avoid saying things out of fear that our partners will take offense or become upset by what we say. It is important to give adequate focus to communication to maintain healthy relationships because it is the path that leads to compromise, honest discussion of issues, and support.
It is in your best interest to talk clearly and openly with your partner about what you are going through to calm your concerns and alleviate your paranoia around the possibility that he or she is unfaithful. Note that it is essential to talk calmly and specifically about your feelings. During this discussion, you should avoid blaming him for inappropriate behavior, criticizing him, or asserting that he is not doing enough for you.
Explain to him what causes you to have negative thinking and worry all the time. Have a conversation with him about the things he could do to assist you in coping with it. It is important to discuss matters unrelated to your relationship with him for the following reasons: Regarding the terrible experiences you’ve had in the past or your poor self-esteem. The more you communicate with your partner, the better you will learn to understand each other and the more support you can provide when required.
And if your words have been ignored or harshly criticized, it is important to assess the state of the health of your relationship.