Anger and disappointment in ourselves and our relationship are just a few of the feelings we may experience after being cheated. We might remember the pain for a long time and bring it into a new relationship. However, since trust is the core of a successful relationship, we must relearn how to be vulnerable and open up to others. Let us show you how to do this.
7 ways you have a successful relationship after cheating
1. Recognize that your future is not the same as your past
Being injured in the past does not mean you will be harmed in the future. This realization will assist you in learning to trust your new partner.
Remember that in order to change your outlook on the future, you must let go of the past. Yes, it’s painful, but it’s easier to go on if you forgive your former spouse and remind yourself that it was just a bad experience.
2. Build up your self-esteem
Cheating on your ex-partner can have a negative effect on your self-esteem. We tend to look for problems within ourselves, and, over time, these thoughts turn into complexes. That’s why it’s important to work on your self-esteem, especially if you’re in a new relationship and have a partner who has fallen in love with you.
Learn to silence your inner critic. Don’t compare yourself to other people. Take care of yourself and do things that make you feel good.
Keep a diary of your own successes and achievements to highlight your strengths more often. Don’t let the traumatic past determine how you feel in the present.
3. Take some time to go through your emotions from the past
Don’t try to forget what occurred right afterwards, and start enjoying your life again. First, you must understand your emotions and the causes behind them.
Make a cause and effect relationship with what you’re experiencing on paper. “I’m in anguish because I hoped to be happy with this guy, but he deceived me,” or “I’m frightened I won’t be able to find a trustworthy companion.”
When you discover the true causes of your emotions, such as fear or disappointment, the first step is to address them. This will assist you in trusting your new partner and opening up to a new relationship.
4. Stop putting yourself down
We often search inside ourselves for reasons to cheat. We believe we aren’t good enough, that we haven’t given enough attention to our partner, or that we have done something to cause this behaviour. In truth, the only one who bears responsibility for cheating is the one who cheated.
If you’ve been lied to and deceived before, it doesn’t imply you deserve to be treated the same way again. And there’s no need to be harsh with yourself, be too critical, or have poor self-esteem as a result of this. Whatever is going on in a relationship, such as quarrels, misunderstandings, or disagreements, is not an excuse to fall into bed with someone else. The guy decides to change rather than fix the issues, and he’s the only one who can do it.
5. Tell your new partner the truth about yourself
The capacity to communicate openly with your partner is a sign of a successful relationship. This open communication is preferable to the hidden experiences that our partners are already aware of. The new person will get a better understanding of your reasons via dialogue. For instance, you could explain why you’re not rushing into a relationship or why you’re attempting to control him.
Don’t be shy in expressing your wishes and anxieties. But don’t go into great detail about what occurred, and don’t bring up your anger towards your ex frequently.
Discuss how a betrayal in your life has affected your perspective on relationships and trust. Tell your partner what you’re fear and how they can help you overcome it.
6. Speak with someone who has gone through a similar experience
Being cheated on may happen to anybody, and many individuals have been cheated. They may have had different approaches to coping with the circumstance and what worked for them.
Speak with a friend who has gone through an affair and come out with a solid relationship. She will undoubtedly be able to sympathize with and support you. Inquire about how she regained her trust in the new relationship; her response may provide fresh insight into your own emotions and views.
7. Don’t hold the new partner responsible for the actions of the previous one
We may be tempted to punish the new partner for the behaviours of the former when we start a new relationship—for example, exerting excessive control over him, issuing ultimatums about interactions with the opposite gender, and comparing him to the person who has harmed you. Alternatively, he might be examining his phone for concealed risks to the relationship.
Remember that the new partner is not to blame for the previous one’s misery. And your unjust treatment of him might lead to the end of your relationship. Remember that your ex-partner and your current partner are two separate persons. Trying to compare them or consciously seeking defects in him will not help you overcome the betrayal and establish a successful relationship.