I feel unattractive and unwanted: 7 ways to overcome this feeling
Not everyone can boast that they feel attractive and wanted. There are many reasons for this: dissatisfaction with your reflection in the mirror an offensive comment you once heard about your appearance. We can get hung up on our shortcomings and lose self-confidence because of this.
But you can feel beautiful if you try a little and tune in the right way. Let’s tell you exactly how.
1. Accept the fact that there are no perfect people
We look at photos of models in magazines or acquaintances on social networks who, in our opinion, are luckier with their appearance. But in fact, the ideal does not exist. And, by the way, most of the photos we see can be radically different from reality.
Our flaws make us special. Admit it, in a world where every face is symmetrical, and everyone looks like the ideals of beauty imposed by society, it would just be boring. In addition, the fashion for certain features or body shape changes as quickly as trends in the wardrobe. It is impossible to be perfect — so you should learn to accept yourself. It means knowing your flaws but paying less attention to them than your virtues.
The more we fixate on what is wrong with us, the more upset and worried we become. We become insecure and confused. It seems that everyone around is better than us, which is fundamentally wrong. To get the latest stories, install our app here
Disadvantages can be turned into strengths. Remember the models with non-standard faces, vitiligo or plus-size shapes. They made their features, which may seem to have many flaws, an accent, which helped them achieve success. The whole secret lies in how to treat what you consider to be shortcomings — to know about them and live with them in peace or to fixate on them, harming yourself.
2. Treat yourself like you’re your best friend
It’s unlikely that every time you meet a friend, you say that her nose is too long. Or that the hair has lost its shine and volume. You won’t rudely tell her to stop eating because she’s gained weight. Or criticize for the freckles that appeared from the summer sun.
We talk to friends in a kind, respectful and discreet way, especially if we touch on the topic of their appearance. We try to emphasize their advantages, even if we see disadvantages. But we forget that we need to do the same with ourselves. To get the latest stories, install our app here
Therefore, develop the habit of being your own best friend. The next time an inner critic says unpleasant words that make you feel ugly, say that he is wrong and justify it with positive statements about yourself.
3. Ask for support from family and friends
We are not saying that you need to force your family and friends to tell you that you are beautiful constantly. This does not always work because we convince ourselves otherwise, and the words of others, even pleasant ones, often cannot convince us.
We suggest performing the exercise “Positive box”. To do this, you need to ask your family and friends to write what they like about you on the stickers. Not only in appearance – let them mark your skills and best qualities. To get the latest stories, install our app here
Collect the stickers in a beautiful box, put them by the bed, and pull one sticker out of it every morning. This will help to improve your mood and feel special. And also – to get to know yourself better. For example, your sister may write that you always dress stylishly, and she wants to learn this from you. Or your partner will mark your forms as perfect, which will make you doubt your negative assessments.
4. Stop comparing
You’re on a bus, and you see a beautiful girl. You immediately notice her figure and facial features. You compare yourself with her and realize that you don’t feel beautiful.
Unfortunately, the more we do this, the worse we feel. This does not mean that you need to look for flaws in people next to you or not show up at a party where a friend you find attractive will come. To get the latest stories, install our app here
To stop comparing means to see the virtues of others and at the same time not to think about what is wrong with you. Yes, the girl on the bus is really cute, but that doesn’t mean you get worse next to her. Remember that the beauty of others does not affect your attractiveness in any way.
5. Keep your posture
Even if you don’t feel attractive, don’t forget about your posture. According to a study by a psychologist, confidence and the way we hold our backs are interrelated. He explains:
Most of us know that posture makes a good impression on other people. But it turns out that it can also influence how we think about ourselves. If we sit up straight, we convince ourselves of confidence in our posture. To get the latest stories, install our app here
Therefore, straighten your back and mentally name your good features when you think about your unattractiveness.
6. Learn to please yourself
When we don’t feel attractive, we forget that we need to be praised and encouraged. It is worth learning to love yourself.
We may think, “Why do I need expensive underwear if my figure is not perfect,” or refuse to attend an event because of skin problems. To get the latest stories, install our app here
Learn to please yourself no matter how attractive you feel. Buy beautiful underwear, even if your shapes don’t quite suit you. Go to a party, even when it seems that you have nothing to go to it. Do what brings you pleasure: read a book, walk with a friend, make a face mask.
When we do what we like and want, it relieves stress and gets rid of negative thoughts. We switch our attention to things that are pleasant to us and distract ourselves from what depresses us.
7. Don’t overdo it in the “fight for beauty”
Too frequent and active workouts can overly tire us. An abundance of new things may not help make you feel attractive and make you feel guilty for excessive spending. Plastic surgery does not always give the desired result and is beneficial if beliefs in unattractiveness are firmly embedded in our heads. It is very difficult to feel beautiful when you feel despair and fatigue.
Before you change and struggle to become more attractive, you need to deal with your feelings, complexes, self-esteem and beliefs. If you can’t do it on your own, you can use the services of a psychologist. To get the latest stories, install our app here
When we solve a problem that we have created in our head, we relax and realize that we do not need drastic changes and improvements.
