There are some things you wish you could think about as rarely as possible. They are unpleasant, painful, and in some cases even unfair and hurtful to the core. You are well aware of these truths, but you stubbornly try to ignore them or convince yourself and everyone around you that things are not really as they seem. Such self-deception helps to distract you from your worries and makes you believe in better things, but sometimes you need to give up the comfort and face the truth.
We’ve put together some examples of lies we tell ourselves
10 lies we tell ourselves
1. That everyone has an equal chance to succeed
You can often convince yourself that everyone has an equal chance to succeed in life. But deep down inside, you know that this is not true. It is unlikely that a person from a poor family will have the same base, educational or material, as a person from a rich one. Of course, the more resources you have at the start, the faster you will get to the desired result.
If you have nothing at all, you run the risk of wasting your whole life trying to get even close to your dream life. That’s not a reason to give up on yourself and your goals, but it’s a good reason to reconsider what you’re aiming for. It’s unlikely that you’ll become president or start a successful business and make a multi-million dollars income in a few years. But you can lower your expectations, make them more realistic and stop deluding yourself that everyone has an equal chance.
2. What matters is what kind of person you are inside
You know perfectly well: no matter how great a person you are, no one will want to get to know your gut if you look repulsive. Of course, there are exceptions, but they are very rare. Normally people look at your appearance, social status, and friendliness, and then they want to get to know you and the kind of person you are.
Instead of blaming people around you for being mercenary or too selective, remember how often you give a chance to people who don’t appeal to you on the outside. It’s probably pretty rare. So stop complaining and looking for excuses for your inaction – rather, focus your energies on changing yourself for the better.
3. That you can be anything you want to be
Let’s face it: you can’t become anything you want to be because you are too late for many professions. To prove yourself in certain fields, you had to prepare since childhood. There is too much competition in some professions and very few vacancies, which effectively dooms you to poverty and lack of work. So take off the rose-colored glasses and choose an interesting and in-demand occupation.
4. That money isn’t everything
Many people say that money isn’t the main thing and that they can be happy even without it. But that’s not true: without money, you wouldn’t be happy or even be alive. Money is your shelter, food and water, medical care, clothes, and shoes. Without money, you will be doomed; accept it.
Of course, you can’t live to earn as much as possible. But to deny that money is one of the basic values of every human being is foolish at the very least. In the right hands, money is a tool for development, new opportunities, and helping people around you. There is no need to think of money as something negative: it is not money that does evil but those who use it for selfish ends.
5. That love is one and for life
You can convince yourself and others that love must be one and for life, but think about how many examples you can give of such relationships. People get to know each other, become interested in each other, start dating, and realize that they made a mistake after a while.
It’s normal – everyone tends to get lost, and feelings can go away. In this case, it is better to talk to your partner, explain the situation and come to a consensus on what to do – to break up or try to save the relationship. Not everyone finds someone they want to spend their life with on the first try, so don’t get your hopes up for love too high.
6. That you are unique and there are no other people like you
You are well aware that many people are similar to each other – in personality, habits, manner of communication, interests, and sometimes even in appearance. No one person is unique in every way. All your attempts to convince yourself and those around you that each of you is unique and unrepeatable are just consolations. Accept the harsh reality – it’s better than self-deception.
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7. That it’s not about winning, it’s about participating
Stop convincing yourself that winning the coveted prize is unimportant. Unfortunately, you can’t fool yourself. You don’t enter a competition where you don’t care about the prize. It can be anything from another promotion at work and recognition to a cash gift or a medal.
If you are motivated, you at least want to prove to yourself and others that you are worthy of first place. You don’t need to tell yourself that it’s all about participation. It’s unlikely you’ll be happy if you enter a dozen competitions and don’t win.
8. That if you treat people well, they will respond in kind
You’ve heard the same expression since you were a kid: treat people the way you’d want them to treat you. But here’s the reality: you can be the kindest, most sensitive, and polite person you can be, but that
doesn’t guarantee you anything. There will still be those who will hate you despite these qualities or will see them as if you are trying to be better than you are.
Stop wasting your resources on maintaining your positive image and expecting to be treated well. Better, do what you can to get what you want and make yourself happy on your own.
9. That opposites attract
At first, you may think that the fewer interests you have in common with your girlfriend, the better. After all, you share with each other your hobbies, share your thoughts on different issues, and expand your picture of the world.
But after all, it gets boring quickly, and eventually, you get frustrated with the relationship, realizing that you don’t even have anything to talk about. Or rather, you talk about different things, have different companies, and don’t agree on things that are important to each other. That’s not great, because strong feelings will eventually pass and you’ll get bored.
10. That education is a guarantee of success in life
No education, neither high school nor college, guarantees that you will be successful. Whether or not you succeed in everything you dream of depends more on your personality traits: patience, the ability not to give up, willpower and also your level of motivation, and the number of attempts you are willing to make.
If you want something but sit back, wait for it to happen on its own, or quit halfway through, no diploma will save you from failure.